Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Thu May 21 2009 11:37pm
by Mew seeker
The purpose of this topic is to translate the Japanese text of Shining Force,
allowing to compare it with the official translation and see to which extend
the game was changed.
And, it WAS changed. X D
From what I have seen, I consider the GBA translation to be much more accurate
to the original that the U.S. version.
But the GBA version is not the U.S. version
so a translation of the Genesis script is not useless imho (in my humble opinion).

That being said, before I start, you should know that I am far from perfect.
Have you heard of, let's say, Lina Darkstar,
which made a translation of The Forbidden Series 6?
Well, if you expect something THAT good, forget it. X D
While I know more Japanese than the average person,
I have limits and it will show. The problem is that right now,
there is no one better available for now as far as I know. ^^;;;
Expect to see many (?) in the text to see parts I'm not so sure of the translation
and to remind you to not take eveything for cash value.
Even then, you will find interesting things here and there.

Since there's a lot of text, expect the topic to last many, many days.
I could have done it chapters by chapters but it's a long task
and I might get lazy. :\
You might need to bug me once in a while. X D

I'm not sure how much I can type in a single post.
I will end the first post here and the next one will contain
the beginning of the Japanese script.
You might want to wait for the second post before starting to comment. X D

Edit : I just learned I can't post twice in a row.
The gamefaqs forums don't work the same way. X D

Here is how the text will be shown.

First, there will be the U.S. Text.
Then, the Japanese text for those who might want to look at it.
And finally, my shot at translating it in blue.
to help differentiate it from the rest of the text.
If I have comments to add, they'll be in italic.
(or between parentheses)

I will start with the introduction.
I know, the translation is already here on this site. X D
But it will show you how much I can do.

Oh, and one more thing. Expect SPOILERS.
Lot of them.
If you haven't played the game, please do so and then come back here. ;)

Shining force Script

*************
Introduction
*************

In ages long forgotten...

およそ1000ねんほど むかし‥

From about 1000 years in the past..

...Light fought Darkness for
control of the world.

きよき心を 光とよび
悪しき心を やみとよんだころ

Pure hearts were called by the light
Evil hearts were invited by the darkness

Dark Dragon led the evil
hordes of Darkness.

やみのけしん ダークドラゴンは
はかいとさつりくを くりかえしていた

The incarnation of Darkness, Dark Dragon
was destroying and slaughtering again and again.

*Picture of the battle against Dark Dragon*

The Ancients fought back with
the Powers of Light.

神々とのそうぜつな戦いのすえ
ダークドラゴンはとらえられた

At the end of the great battle with the gods
Dark Dragon was captured.
(Note : "gods" is often if not always changed in the U.S. version in "Ancients")

Dark Dragon was defeated and
cast into another dimension.

そして 神々のてにより
ちのそこに ふういんされた

And by the hand of the gods
it was sealed in the bottom of the earth.

*Face of Dark Dragon*

The Lord of Darkness vowed to
return in 1,000 years.

「我ハ カナラズ ヨミガエラン
 1000ネンノ ノチニ?」

"I will revive withouth failing
in 1000 years..." (?)(
That part is quoted, meaning that Dark Dragon was talking.
Try to say the text with your scariest voice. : P
The text is written in Katakana, meaning it doesn't sound too human.
Maybe I should have wrote it in CAPS.


*Picture of a castle*

Time passed, and Dark Dragon
was forgotten by all.

そして ときはながれ でんせつは
わすれさられようとしていた

And in time the stream of legends
have been forgotten. (?)

Ten centuries of peace ruled
the land of Rune.

人々 えいえんとも おもわれる
へいわなときを たのしんでいた

Humanity seemed to have seemingly enjoyed
an eternal time of peace.

*Picture of Rufaust's forces*

Until the kingdom of Runefaust
brought war and fear to Rune.

しかし そのせいじゃくをやぶり

But destroying that quietness (?)

Hordes of evil creatures
ravaged every land.

ひがしの大国ルーンファウストが
とつじょ しんぐんをかいしした

The large east country Runfaust
suddenly started its march.

Here and there, strongholds
of Good still held out...

人々は おそれおののき

Humanity, trembling with fear

...awaiting a Hero who could wield the Powers of Light!

この力にたいこうする
すくいのてを まちのぞんだ?

looked for a helping hand
against this expanding power. (?)

**********************************************

Start of the game : the scene with the girl reading a book.

Simone :

Wow! Dark Dragon, Ancients...
Let's see now, what else does
this old book say?
Hmmm. One thousand years
have passed since they
vanquished Dark Dragon.
And this book says
Dark Dragon threatened to
return right about now.
I bet anything that Dark
Dragon is behind the evil
hordes of Runefaust!
I need to tell someone about
this! But who would listen to
a kid like me?
I think Dark Dragon's coming
back! Will you help us?
C'mon, it?ll be an adventure!

?おききなさい
あれから 1000ねんがたちました
なんとしても 悪しき力を
ふっかつさせてはなりません?
我々も それをそしするため
ふういんを まもるためのちすじを
はぐくんできました
それが あなたたちなのです
わー これから どうなるんだろう?
えーと えーと?
あーっ!! いらっしゃーい!
おじちゃんなら お出かけよ
でも もうすぐ かえってくると
おもうけど?
えっ このごほん? これはね?!
ルーンたいりくに つたわる
むかしむかしの おはなしなの
そうだ! もしよかったら
おじいちゃんが かえってくるまで
ごほんを よんできかせてー!

Listen
From there 1000 years have passed.
To not let that evil power be revived...
We also raised a lineage
in order to protect the seal
to block it.
This was your (people?) doing.
Wa- where did you come from?
Hum hum ...
Aahh!! Welcome!
If it's for grampa-chan, he went outside.
But I think he should be back very soon...
Ah, this book? You mean this!?
I heard that apparently a long time ago
it was transmitted in the Rune continent.
Is that so! If it's ok,
until grampa-chan comes back,
let's read this book!

While it might not make unanimity, I have decide to keep Japanese honorifics.
I think it would be for best.
If you don't know what they are, have a look here :
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Honorifics


*Menu*

Cont Del
New Copy

つづきから   けす
はじめから   うつす

Continue Delete
From the begining Copy (duplicate)

*If you choose New*

Pick an adventure.

*And then*

Say, what shall I call you?

ねえねえ このおはなしの主人公は
なんていう 名まえなの?

Well well, how should the hero of that story
be called?
How considerate of her.
Maybe the hero's name was never know in the book...


Nice to meet you,
Max! I'm Simone.
Come back often
and tell me everything!
You need to get going! Evil
spreads farther across Rune
with every passing day.

マックスさんて いうのね
かっこいいんだーっ!
それじゃ はやく よんで!
はやく はやくーっ!

We will call him Max-san huh.
Sounds cool!
Let's read this quick!
Quick quick!
Definitively not the same style in the Japanese version. X D
If you didn't knew yet, the girl don't have a name in the Japanese version.


*****************************
CHAPTER 1

Runefaust Invasion

     第1章
ルーンファウスト軍の侵略

Chapter 1
The Runefaust army invasion
*****************************

Max? Max?
C'mon, kid, wake up!
I didn't hit you that hard.

さあ マックス殿
どこから かかってきても けっこう
力いっぱい うちこみなされ!

Well Max-dono
Even when trapped from somewhere (?)
you put into heart plenty of great energy!
Max doesn't get his butt kicked in the Japanese version. : P
Also, he is called dono by many people, which denote respect.
To make a comparaison, in Super Mario RPG,
while Mario usually get called Mario-san by many people,
the high ranked chancelor calls him Mario-dono.


*You heard some noise.*

Keep your guard up, kid.
Those beasts of Runefaust
will tear you to pieces!

ま まいった!
いまのこきゅうを おわすれなく

De, defeated!
I didn't lost my breath. (?)

Lord Varios:
OK, that's enough for today.
You'd better take it easy for
a while.

このへんで ひとやすみしましょう
としのせいか 私も さいきん
つかれやすく なりました?

Let's rest around here.
Maybe it's age but lately
I get tired easily...
In the Japanese version, it's Varios that get tired.
Maybe that in the U.S. version, they wanted us to pity Max
only to make him much cooler afterward? X D


*If you talk to him again before talking to Lowe*

Lord Varios:
No, Max, I think
you've had enough for
today!

もう ひとしょうぶ ですと?
マックス殿 あまり としよりを
いじめんでください

You want another match with me? (?)
Max-dono, please don't tease
too much this old man. (?)

Bookcase in the church :
Path to Master Swordmanship,
Warrior Techniques,
and many more books.

「ソードマスターへの道」
「戦士のこころえ」
いろいろなほんが ならんでいる

"Way to Swordmaster"
"Warrior's knowledge"
There are various books here.

Lowe appear, saying:
Well, Max, had enough
swordplay for today?

すげえなあ マックス!
騎士バリオス様と
ごかくの しょうぶかよ!

Awesoomee Max!
You fought on par
with the knight Varios-sama! (or Barios/Balios?)
Lowe not using honorific here denote that he's close to Max.
A good friend at least imho.



I don't know how you keep at
it hour after hour. I'm dead
tired after about 15 minutes!

うーん ほんとに すげえや!
オイラ とんでもないヤツを
ともだちに しちまったな

Yeahh it's truly awesome!
For us, it's unexpected for someone to fight a friend. (???)

Lord Varios:
You have the makings of a
great fighter, Max.
You'll be tested soon enough.

マックス殿は まことに おつよい
かつては どこかの国の りっぱな
剣士だったのでしょう
我がガーディアナでも せいしきに
騎士として おむかえできれば
よいのですが?

Max-dono is truly strong.
In the past, he must have been
a great swordman in some country.
Even for me in Guardiana, (?)
that I could oficially meet such a knight (?)
is good but... (?)

A soldier appear, saying :
Lord Varios, the king has
sent for you. You must come
at once!

バリオス様 じつは?

Varios-sama, the situation (?)...
You don't get to hear much in the Japanese version.

Lord Varios:
Of course. Lead the way, guardsman.
I fear the worst, Max!
Prepare yourself for true
battle immediately!

なに! それはまことか!
?わかった
マックス殿 もうしわけありません
もう 城にもどるきかんのようです
また あしたも けいこに
あせを ながしましょうぞ

What! Is it true!
... Understood.
I am really sorry Max-dono.
As it is, I must already return to the castle
Let's pour sweat
by training again tomorrow.

*He leaves*

Lowe:
Did you see Varios' face? He
went pale! Something really
big is happening.
Let's split up and see if we
can't find out what's going
on. I'll see you later.

見たかよ バリオス様のかおいろ
まっさおだったぜ?なにか
こまったことでも あったのかな?
オイラ 城の様子を見てくるぜ
おまえも あとから こいよな!

Did you see, Varios-sama's expression
was really pale... Something
must have worried him but what could it be?
Let's go to see how things are at the castle.
Come too later!

*He leaves too.*

Woman in the church :
I'm sick of feeling helpless!
I'm going to ask Varios to
train me to be a fighter!

てつだいの おじいさんったら
さいきん ものわすれがひどくて
としだから しかたないのかしらねえ

If you are (?) grandpa's helper,
his recent(or lately?) forgetfulness is an awful thing.
I guess it can't be help if it's because of age.
I don't know why but the nature of the NPC chat is sometime changed.
There are othere instance of this in the game.


Priest:
Hello, Max! I've been
having the worst nightmares.
Have you had any?

これは マックス殿
きのうのよる 私は
ふしぎなゆめを 見たのですよ
どんなゆめか おわかりですか?

This is Max-dono.
Last night,
I had a mysterious dream
Do you understand what kind it was?

*If you say yes*

Priest:
I bet they're the same ones
I've been having!

ほう さすがはマックス殿だ
そうです あなたに はじめて
お会いした あのときの ことです

As I expected from you Max-dono.
Really, it was about that time
we met you for the first time.

If you say no, he'll say instead :
Well, then, let me tell you
about mine.

さすがのマックス殿にも
人の心を よむ力はありませんか
あなたに はじめて お会いした
あのときの ゆめを 見たのですよ

Not as a would have expected from you Max-dono (?)
There is not a power to read a person's heart, is there?
It was a dream of that time
where I first met you that I saw.

*In both case, he'll then say*

I saw our land in ruins. Evil
creatures roamed our halls!
It seemed so real!

かいがんに たおれていた あなたを
ロウが見つけた?
あれは もう 1ねんもまえ?
きおくを すべて うしなっていた
あなたを おあずかりしたのも
神のおみちびきなのかも しれません

Lou discovered you collapsed
on the beach...
One year already passed since that...
Because (?) all of your memory was lost
we took care of you. (?)
God's guidance is something that can't be understood. (?)
Lou = Lowe.
Also, they ripped off important background story about Max.
(It can explain why Lowe is close to Max.)
And there is no mention of God here either.


When you talk to him again, he'll say :

Varios seemed very upset when
he passed this way. Perhaps
you should look for him.

マックス殿は バリオス殿のことが
気がかりなのでは ありませんか?
ならば 城に行かれては どうです?
バリオス殿は あなたの剣のせんせい
力になって おあげなさい

Max-dono, about Varios-Dono,
aren't you worried?
If it's the case, how about going to the castle?
Varios-dono is your sword teacher.
Go lend him your strenght.

Old man at the church:
Eh? What's a youngster like
you doing moping around? Get
out and fight evil!

きおくを うしなったことなぞ
気にせんでも ええよ
にんげんは みんな おんなじじゃ
としをとれば みんな わすれちまう
たのしかったこと つらかったこと
みんな わすれちまうのさ

I too had thought (?)
about losing memory, yes. (?)
Everyone is the same among humans.
If you ask about/take age (?) , every one forget.
Things that were fun, things that were painful,
every one (?) will forget.

Bookcase near the old man :
The Light and the Darkness,
How Green Was My Dragon,
and many more books.

「光とやみのでんせつ」
「神々のじだい」
いろいろなほんが ならんでいる

"The legend of light and darkness"
"The epoch of gods"
There are various books here.

Guard at the church:
Back and forth, up and down!
Man, I'm tired of guarding
this chapel all day!

私も バリオス様に
剣のけいこを つけてほしい!
?とおもうのですが
教会の けいびが いそがしく
なかなか おもいどおりなは?
マックス様が うらやましい?

I too want to be in a sword training (?)
with Varios-sama! (?)
... that's what I think but (?)
being busy the church's defence
don't allow much to do what I want... (?)
I envy you Max-sama...
Max-sama? Oh my. X D

Woman at the entrance of the castle:
The Castle of Guardiana lies
just ahead. Varios went in
just a while ago.

このさきが ガーデイアナのお城よ
ちいさいけど ゆいしょただしい
りっぱな お城なのよね
それに ウワサだけど なにか
すごい宝ものが あるんですって
やっぱり ほうせきかしらね?

Past this point is Guardiana castle.
It's a small but historically fine
splendid castle.
Beside, there is some kind of rumor
about some kind of amazing treasure being there.
I wonder if it's some kind of jewel?

Old man at the entrance of the castle :
Someday I hope to go to
Manarina to become a mage.

わしは マナリナに行きたいんじゃ
あの国でしゅぎょうして
まどうしに なってみたいのじゃ

I would like to go to Manarina.
I would like to become a mage
by studying in that country.
Let's be fair. While some stuff was changed,
some things are also more or less the same.


Man near bar:
There are so many monsters
outside the city gates!
There's no escape!

古えのもんにつづく道で
ゴブリンをたくさん見たよ
恐かったなー?

Following the road (?) to the ancient gate,
I saw a lot of goblins.
Scary...
It's more accurate in the Japanese version
and it give you foreshawing as well.
Too bad that goblins will be the least of your worries
in the games. : P


Man near the cart :
Hey! Watch it, pal! How'd you
like it if I tried to run you
over with a cart?

いてえだろ!! このよそ者め!
こんどやったら ただじゃおかねえぞ

Stop!! (?) You stranger guy!
If you do it again, it will cost you a lot of money (?)
He's reallly, really not happy.

Dog:
Grrr! Woof, woof! Arf!

ウー ワン! ワン!

Wa- wan! Wan!

Man near exit:
Have you seen my cart? It
rolls away all the time.
Needs new brakes, I guess.

おれの にぐるまさー
かんたんに はしり出すから
ちょっと きけんなんだよね
そろそろしゅうりに 出さなきゃな

My cart,
simply, if it start to run,
it get a bit dangerous.
Soon, I'll have to go repair it.

Left guard at the exit :
An order from the castle.
No one leaves.

お城からの めいれいで
だれであろうと ここを
とおすことは できません

An order from the castle :
no one is allowed
to pass that point here.

Rigth guard at the exit :
Sorry, Max. Talk to
the king if you want to
leave. Orders are orders!

いやあ すいませんねーっ
ホントは こんなこと
したくはないんですけど?
城からの めいれい なんですよ
だれも 出しちゃダメ! ってね
ほんとに 悪いっすね

I am real-ly sorry.
Truly, there is no arrengement (?)
for that place but... (?)
It's an order frome the castle.
It say that :"Anyone getting out is no good!"
Truly bad.

Sign on the bar's wall :
The Green Dragon

「酒場
‥マンドラゴラ・ワイン・ヌーボー
ほんじつ にゅうかしました」

"Bar
..Mandragora wine nouveau
have arrived today."
No wine for the U.S. : P


Man behind the bar's counter :
Pay the old man no heed,
youngster. His mind isn't
what it used to be!

そこのジイさん しつこいから
あんまり あいてにしない方が
いいですよ
いえの者に ジャマにされるって
まいにち グチばかりなんだから
うちも いいめいわくですよ

Because that old guy there is obstinate,
it's a good thing (?)
that he don't have much company.
He get in the way of people here.
Because everyday he does nothing but complaining,
he cause trouble to the place (?).


Warrior in the bar :
Hey there, youngster. My name
is Gort. Care to hear my
story?

よお おわかいの
おれはゴートっていう のんだくれだ
おれのはなしに つきあわんか?

Yo, young guy,
Me, the one called Gort went drunk. (?)
Will you listen to me talking?
Goth, the name of a group of barbarians,
could be another possible translation.


If you say no at any of his questions :
I understand. I had things
to do when I was your age.
Perhaps some other time.

そうかい まあ いそがしいんなら
しかたないか アンタにはアンタの
つごうが あるんだしな

Is it so, well if you're busy,
it can't be helped. You have
thing tto take care of. (?)

If you say yes :
Thanks. No one talks to me
anymore. All too busy. Want
to hear a secret?

そうかい こりゃ うれしいねえ
いやなにね このとしになると
ぐちっぽく なるんでね

いえのもんに じゃまにされることが
おおいもんで こうしてここで
のんでるってわけさ
おっとおれのはなし まだきくかい?

Is it so, well young guy, I am pleased.
Bad things in this town/time (?)
*grumble* I have become. (?)

Because I was in the way causing trouble at home but (?)
I am worrying a lot, (?)
I am thus drinking here.

If you say yes again :
Never trust anyone outside
this city! Murderers and
thieves, all of 'em!
I ought to know. I used to
be a great warrior. Been all
over the world.
Why, I have half a mind to go
out again. Would if I got a
good offer.

おれは こう見えても
むかし りっぱな戦士だったんだ
ずいぶんてがらも たてたもんだ
さいきんは へいわなもんだから
おれの たちばってもんがないよ‥
いや 悪いねえ つきあわせて
みんな あいてに なってくれんから
しんせつな人が いると
つい はなしたくなっちまうんだよ

I was watching this way. (?)
Back then I was a great warrior.
An extremely meritorius (?) one.
Nowaday, because of that peace thing,
there is no situation (?) for me..
No, it's bad if you compare. (?)
If you don't become like the others (?)
If you are a kind person (?)
You didn't listen to this by mistake. (?)
While I didn't get all of the Japanese text,
I can't help but feel bad for Gort.
With peace he lost his usefulness and he ended up a drunkard.
He became isolated from other people.
He realize Max's kindness as it's probably one of the few people left
that actually pay attention, care to him.


Sign on the shop wall :
Weapon and Item Shop

「武器・道具のおみせ」

"Weapon and item shop"

Weapons seller:
Sigh, not another customer!
Buy, sell, buy, sell. That's
all I do! Just go away!

これは これは いらっしゃいませ
なにを おもとめですか?
?と いいたいのですが?
ほれ さいきんは へいわでしょ
戦いや旅の道具なんか おいといても
さっぱり うれないんですよ
?はあ しょうばい なんか
はじめるんじゃ なかった

This, this "welcome",
what am I asking/looking for? (?)
... That's what I would like to say but...
Lately, it must be peace. (?)
I dislike (?) battle and traveling items.
I would feel relieved (?) to not sell them.
... ah, bussiness didn't somewhat (?)
started.

Item seller:
Don't mind the boss. He gets
like that sometimes. Perhaps
I can help you out?

うちのおやかた やる気を
なくしちまってね 道具だけで
よかったら おれがうってやるぜ

This house master have lost
his will. If it's only items
that you would like, I'll sell those.

House with the cart in front of it :
-Girl's father:
We're all upset about our
daughter's nightmare. Do you
think it means anything?

むすめのことで うちのヤツが
ひどく しんぱい しちまってね
オレは 気にしてないんだけど?
はー けっこんすると いろいろ
くるうが たえないよ
あんたは どくしんで 気らくだね

That guy in the house was
terribly worried about his daughter(?).
I wouldn't worry about it but...
Ha, if you marry, lot of thing
won't stop going wrong. (?)
You, you have it easy by staying single.

Girl's mother:
My poor girl! I can't seem to
calm her down!

むすめの様子が おかしいんです
いったい どうしたのかしら?

My daughter state is strange.
I wonder what on earth should I do...

-Girl:
I...I had an awful dream. The
whole town burned down.
Sniff. Our house, too.

ぐすん ぐすん
?あ あたしね とっても
コワいゆめ 見たの
町がね みんな もえちゃうの
おうちもね みんな もえちゃうの
あーん ホントにコワかったのよ

Sob sob
I, I had a really
scary dream.
The town was burning everywhere.
The house was all burned.
Wah, it was really scary.
Once again, more details here.

House with the dog near it :
-Woman in the first floor :
Sorry, but I'm busy packing.
Grandpa's out somewhere. He
has time to talk!

ゴートおじちゃんたら
ひるまから 酒場に いりびたりで
まったくイヤに なっちゃうわ

If it's about Gort grampa-chan,
since it's daytime, he should be at the bar.
It have become really bad.

-First floor bookshelf :
The Warrior's Code,
All about Weapons,
and many more books.

「戦士のおきて」
「武器のすべて」
いろいろなほんが ならんでいる

"The warrior's law"
"All about weapons"
There are various books here.

-Woman in the basement :
Grandpa was once the best
warrior in all of Rune. But
that was a long time ago.

うちのおじちゃんも むかしは
国でいちばんの 戦士だったのよ
でも いまじゃ ただのグータラね

Long ago, grandpa here
was the country best warrior.
But now he's just a good-for-nothing.

-Basement bookshelf :
Hand Axe Techniques,
Hunt for the Axe of Legend,
and many more books.

「ハンドアックスのつかい方」
「でんせつのオノをもとめて」
いろいろなほんが ならんでいる

"Hand Axe usage"
"Search for the legendary axe" (or axes?)
There are various books here.

Warrior in the small house near the entrance :
Be careful, Max. The
knights resent the time Lord
Varios spends training you!

これは マックス殿!
気をつけた方がいいですよ
騎士のヤツラが あなたの剣のうでに
やきもちを やいているんですよ

This is Max-dono!
It would be good to be careful about what you do.
Those knights guys are being
jealous of your skill with the sword.

Sign on the inn's wall :
Knights' Inn

「ガーディアナホテル
心をこめた おもてなし!」

"Guardiana Hotel
Take in heart to not wait outside!" (?)
Maybe it's an invitation to come in? ^^;;;

Inn owner:
Bad times, my friend. Not a
guest in two weeks!

きいてください ヘンなんですよ
さいきん 旅のおきゃくさんが
ぜんぜん こないんですよ!
このやども すこしまえまでは
けっこう はんじょう してたのに
さいきんは サッパリですよ?

Please listen about this weird thing.
Lately there are no
customers at all. (?)
This in until very recently
was really prosperous
but lately it went away...

***************************************************

Inside the castle :

Guard near the headquarters:
No one enters here without
Lord Varios' permision!

ここは ほんじん ?戦士たちが
戦いのしたくをする ところです
ようじのない者は はいれません

Here's is the headquarter. Warriors
make battle preparations in this place.
People withouth bussiness here can't enter.

Castle guard 1&2:
This is Guardiana Castle!

ここは ガーディアナの城です!

This is Guardiana Castle!

Guard near the knights:
Watch out, Max! There are REAL kinghts training
out here! You might get hurt!

ここは騎士たちの くんれん場です
あまり ちかよらない方が
いいのでは?

This is the knights practice field.
It would be best to not
get too close...

Note : I migth have put the wrong translation with it's U.S. text.
Hey, it's not easy! Those knights keep moving. X D

Knight 1:
We'll make quick work of
those Runefaust beast!

どこのウマのホネともわからんヤツに
ほこりたかき ガーディアナの騎士が
まともに くちをきけるか! フン

Listen those proud guardiana knights (?)
talking from their mouth frankly (?)
to some not understanding horse bone guys! Phmm (?)
This is not my best moment. ^^;;;

Knight 2:
The Guardiana knights have no
need of you, Max!

えーい ちぇすとー!
うーん かけごえだけは
きまるんだけどな?

Eeei chesto!
Hm, even if it's just yelling,
it looks good... (?)
Yes, it's really written "chesto".

Knight 3:
Whew! Training wears me out.

てやーっ! てやーっ!
もういっちょ てやーっ!
ふー くんれんは つかれるな

Teyaahhh! Teyaahhh!
One more time (?) teyaahhh!
Fuu, practice is tiring.

Knight 4:
We have trained until our
arms are ready to fall off!
When will we see battle?

さいきんは 戦いもおこらない?
我々騎士は ほんとうに
ひつよう なのだろうか?

Lately battles aren't occuring...
Are we knight truly
still required...?
As the introduction said, peace really have lasted a long long time

Knight 5:
Beat it, Max! This
training field's too rough
for the likes of you!

旅のしょうにんに きいたのだがな
ひがしの大国 ルーンファウストが
我が国を ねらっているらしい?
?まあ うわさ だがな

I heard from a traveler/traveling merchant
that the large country Runefaust to the east
seems to have eyes on our country...
... but it's just a rumor.
More foreshadowing
In the Japanese version, there's very little talk of Runefaust yet.
In the U.S. version, they're expecting them...
... and get their butt kicked anyway. X D


Knight 6:
Don't let them get to you,
Max. Some knights are
always complaining.

騎士のなかには れいぎしらずもいる
ほんとうに うまんな?
騎士の ほこりばかりに とらわれて
めがくもっている?
いざ戦いというときが しんぱいだ

Some knight (?) don't have manners.
Truly unpleasant... (note : "uma" can also mean horse)
The eye is clouded,
imprisoned by about nothing else than knight's pride. (?)
Now the said time of battle is concerning. (?)

House to the left of the castle :
-Old man:
The king seems very worried.
Do you know why?

わしは 王様が 子どものころから
ずーっと おせわをしてきた
それなのに さいきん 王様は
わしに なにも そうだんしてくれん
うーん かなしいのお
王様が なにか なやんでおられる
そういうウワサを みみにしたんじゃ
おぬし なにか しらんか?

I took care of the king-sama
all the time from the time he was a child.
About that (?), lately, the king-sama
do not come anymore to consult me.
Hm, it's sad.
Something is troubling the king-sama.
Do you not know of some kind
of rumor that would have come to your ear?

If you say no :
My guess is that thoughts of
the Gate of the Ancients
trouble our noble king!

ふーん やはり しらんか?
わしがおもうに 古えのもんのことで
なやんでおられるらしい?

Phmm, as I thought, you don't know...
My guess is that it's the ancient gate thing
that seems to worry him...

If you say yes :
Well! You young people think
you know everything!

気をつかわんでもええ
あんたが 王様のなやみごとを
しっとる わけがないじゃろ

To pay attention is good. (?)
That you would know about
the king-sama worries is not all. (???)

Centaur female knigth :
Greetings, Max.
I am Mae, Varios' daughter.
The other knights feel that
father has wasted his time on
you. We shall see!

こんにちは 私はバリオスのむすめ
騎士のメイよ
あなたがマックスね?
父上に 剣の教えをうけてるからって
あんまり いい気にならないことね
あなたは よそ者なんだから!

Hello. I am Varios's daughter
Mei the knight.
You are Max...
That you recieved sword teaching from my father
should not make you feel too optimistic (?).
After all, you're a stranger!
The people who don't like Max seems to not like him
because he is a stranger and possibly also
because he gets special attention from Varios anyway.


Guard near the treasure room:
What kind of treasure? I'm
not sure. Something really
valuable, I guess.

宝をまもるのは たいへんです
すごく きんちょう するんです
?はやく こうたいしたい!
え? どんな宝かって?
うーん 私にはわかりません
きっと だいじなものでしょう

The protection of the treasure is a serious thing.
There was a great tension. (???)
... Quick, let's get away! (???)
Eh? What kind of treasure it is?
Hmmm, I don't know.
Undoubtly, it must be a really important thing.
So, any bet on what the treasure really is? : P

Guard at the treasure room:
Huh?

・・・・・

.....

After pushing him
Hey, cut that out! You can't
just push your way in here.
Get out!

ははは 力づくで どうにかなるほど
よのなかは あまく ありませんぞ!

Ha ha ha, going by strenght in a way or the other (?)
in the world is not optimistic! (?)
I like how the guard laugh instead in the Japanese version. : )

Knight inside the castle:
These are my quarters. Find
someplace else to sleep!

おい きさま なんのようだ!
かんけいない者が 城にはいるな!

Hey, you, what are you doing!
An unauthorized person entered the castle!

Old man inside the tower:
A great view from the top of
this tower. You can see
forever.

このとうの いちばん上からの
見はらしは すばらしいぞ
どこまででも 見えるんじゃ
え? したはどうなっとるかって?
うーん したのへやのことは
よう わからんよ

Looking from this tower,
the highest point around is great.
What? What about under? (?)
Hum, about the room under
I don't know.

Mage:
Yes, it's an interesting tower,
isn't it? So much to see
and do!

このへやに きょうみがあるな?
みんなこのへやのことを しりたがる
だがな キカイという名まえだけしか
わからんのじゃよ
マナイナの まどうしなら
なにか しっているかもな?

Do you have an interest in this room?
Everyone want to know about this room
however we don't know anything about "machines"
beside the name.
If it about Manarina's mages,
I might know something...

Edit : I'll cut the text here as I reached the post limit a bit after this point.

Well, that's it for today.
I'll have to work on translating a bit more text before I can post more stuff.
Stay tuned.
Oh and feel free to comment or ask questions.
I can't double post so I actually need it to go on. X D

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Fri May 22 2009 1:54am
by ehow22
Ok, then. I think that's on of if not the longest post I've seen on these forums.

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Fri May 22 2009 1:58am
by Mew seeker
Well, the Shining Force script IS long. X D
I also had the first part ready.
Anyway, I could do it in one long go
but the risk that I get sidetracked get higher. :\
The next posts should be shorter
as I gradually make a translation for the rest of the text.

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Fri May 22 2009 3:13am
by TheUnknownMarine
Most.

Excellent.

BTW "Eeei chesto!
Hm, even if it's just yelling,
it looks good... (?)
Yes, it's really written "chesto"."

I believe it's in Kendo where you yell the area you target before striking. So the guard yelling "Chesto" is hitting the chest. Makes sense.

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Fri May 22 2009 7:11am
by Earl
I must be stupid, because I never connected the missing grandpa with Gort before. Seems so obvious now, even without the tip that he's in the bar.

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Fri May 22 2009 7:20am
by Flygon
Wow, this is brilliant! The script in the Japanese edition feels much less... rushed.

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Fri May 22 2009 7:41am
by Rick
Agreed...

The japanese script kinda clarifies most things, especially Lowe's connection with Max...

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Fri May 22 2009 8:31am
by BigNailCow
To make it more readable, I'd suggest putting up a webpage somewhere with 3 columns: the text in the US version, the text in the Japan version, and your translation. And there wouldn't be any post limit there, and you could easily separate it by section.

Brilliant job. Keep up the good work!

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Fri May 22 2009 10:10am
by Moogie
Excellent work, really nice to see what was originally said and how things changed. Though I must say I have a certain fondness for some of the lines in the English release :)

I would love to include this script on the main site when it's completed if you don't mind.

Perhaps at some stage we could look into smoothing out the translation and putting it into the game!

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Fri May 22 2009 10:56am
by Thousand
really nice work :thumbsup:

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Sat May 23 2009 2:33am
by Mew seeker
I believe it's in Kendo where you yell the area you target before striking. So the guard yelling "Chesto" is hitting the chest. Makes sense.


"Chesto" reminds me of a very specific character in Super Robot Wars. : P

Wow, this is brilliant! The script in the Japanese edition feels much less... rushed.


I could say the same about several Snes games.

The japanese script kinda clarifies most things


You have seen nothing yet. ;)

To make it more readable, I'd suggest putting up a webpage somewhere with 3 columns: the text in the US version, the text in the Japan version, and your translation. And there wouldn't be any post limit there, and you could easily separate it by section.


Is there a webpage where I could do this easily?
Still, this forum should be fine for now.
I can see the feedback here. : )

Though I must say I have a certain fondness for some of the lines in the English release


Which ones? : D
But yes, I feel some parts might be like this.
Like the theather piece and Max's words.

I would love to include this script on the main site when it's completed if you don't mind.


Sure. ^^

Perhaps at some stage we could look into smoothing out the translation and putting it into the game!


That would be nice as well.
But it most likely mean making a script dump,
possibly from the Japanese version.

Anyway, here is the part that was cut the other day :

Man at the top of the tower:
Oh my! What a lovely view!

うーん これは! うーん これは!

Oohhh this! Oohhh this!

If you search the telescope from the side :
It is indeed a lovely view.

とくにかわったところは なかった

You couldn't really move it from it's location. (?)

If you search the telescope from the front :
Max looks into
the telescope.

「マックスは ぼうえんきょうを
のぞきこんだ!」

"Max looks
in the telescope."

*The old man step backward*
A huge eye! Aiiiieeee!

め めだまの ばけものじゃ!
?ん?

It's an eye, eyeball monster!
... hm?

Then, when you talk to him again :
Whoa! You scared me for
a bit there! I was just looking
around, admiring the land.
Lately I've seen moving
people or creatures near the
Gate of the Ancients....

おお これはマックス殿であったか
じぶんでつくった とおめがねに
むちゅうになって 気づかんかったよ
こいつは わしがつくった うーんと
とおくまで見える じまんのしなじゃ
?ところで マックス殿
さいきん 古えのもんのちかくで
よく 人かげを見るのじゃが?
あいつらは いったいなんじゃろう?

Oh, was it Max-dono who appeared.
I was so busy looking in the telescope
that I didn't noticed
it was you, huh. (?)
I was looking at things here and there up to far away.
... By the way Max-dono,
nowaday, near the ancient gate vicinity,
often the shape of people can be seen...
Who they could be?

When you enter the king's room :

King of Guardiana:
...that is the story, Varios.

?ということなのだ バリオスよ

... said thing, Varios.
It's not easy to correctly translate the end of a sentence
without the beginning. ^^;


Lord Varios:
Mmmm...Then, your majesty,
we have no choice but to send
Max, a young fighter.
Oh Max. Good. I was
going to look for you.
First, listen to the King.

ううむ? では 王様
やはり マックス殿に?

おおマックス殿 いいところにきた
ちょうどよびに行こうとしたところだ
まずは 王様に はなしを きかれよ

Hhmmm.... Well then king-sama
of course Max-dono...
It might not be accurate but what's obvious is
that he was about to say something about Max


Oh, Max-dono, it's a good thing you came. (literally, you came to the right place)
I was about to call you (but you came here?) (?)
First, listen to what the king-sama have to say.

Varios then step aside.

If you talk to Lord Varios, minister and Nova fist :
First you must listen to what
the king has to say.

まずは 王様に はなしを きかれよ

First, listen to what the king-sama have to say.

King of Guardiana:
For centuries, our people
have watched the Gate of the
Ancients, as its guardians.
Beyond that gate lies we know
not what, not even if it is of
the Light or the Darkness.
But the Ancients knew, and
they sealed it beyond the gate
and set us as guards.
And now we find that we may
have failed in our mission,
our reason for existence.
Signs have been seen that
forces of Runefaust are at the
Gate of the Ancients!
Whatever evil they are
planning, we must stop it
at all costs and at once!

これは マックス殿!
じつは こまったことがあり
そなたに そうだんしたかったのだ
この城のひがしにある 古えのもん
そこでさいきん あやしい人かげを
見たという者がおおい?
古えのもんは しんせいなばしょだ
神々のいさんが ふうじられている
このまま 見すごすことはできぬ
しかし 騎士たちをうごかせば
人々に いらぬふあんを
いだかせることに なろう

You are Max-dono!
The truth is that there is a thing that worried me
that I wanted to (?) discuss with you.
To the east of this castle is the antient gate.
Lately, a person said that
many figures of suspicious people was seen there...
The ancient gate is an holy place.
The legacy of gods is sealed there.
It's something that cannot be overlooked.
But if we were sending knights,
the situation would be that
people would start to feel needlessly nervous.
Less talk about the past here.
Also, the king don't know about Runefaust.
He want to do something but don't want to alarm the people.
Oh, and Max get called Max-dono by the king himself. : D


Lord Varios:
But we must not panic the
people. A small group of
young but skilled warriors...

マックス殿 なんにんかの者をつれ
そなたが しきかんとなって
古えのもんに むかってほしいのだ
そなたに こんなことを
たのむのは 気がひけるのだが?

Max-dono, going with some people,
you would become commander.
I would like that you go to the ancient gate.
That I have to ask you
such a thing makes me feel bad/akward but...
He feel bad but not because he's ashamed of Max. : P
Maybe he felt it was too soon?
In the U.S., it's Varios who talk about not worrying the people.


Nova:
Yes! He could do it. He could
leave town unnoticed and have
a chance to suceed, perhaps.

古えの城?
それは 神々のじだいより
このルーンたいりくに あるという
そして その とざされた
とびらのおくには 神々のいさんが
ふうじられているという?
そのいさんを まもることが
ガーディアナ国に たくされた
きゅうきょくのしめい なのです

The ancient castle...
There, from the era of gods,
it is said (to be?) in this Rune continent (?)
and in the interior of this closed door
the legacy of gods is said
to be sealed inside...
The protection of this legacy
was the country of Guardiana
ultimate mission entrusted to it.
And it's Nova who talked of the past in the Japanese version.
Did they really had to shuffle it? ^^;


King of Guardiana:
Yes, Nova, I agree.
Max! Will you
take the task?

バリオスに そうだんしたところ
このにんむの てきにん者として
そなたを すいせんしてきたのだ
バリオスのすいせんなら あんしんだ
古えのもんの たんさくを
ぜひとも そなたにたのみたい!
どうだ ひきうけてはくれぬか?

I discussed of this with Varios.
Being the suitable person for this task,
You were recommended.
If being recommende by Varios make you feel better,
I would like to requesting you (no not being an answer!)
to investigate the ancient gate!
How about it, won't you take up this task?

If you say no :

King of Guardiana:
What? You refuse?! It seems
that Various was wrong about
you, after all. Too bad.

なに ひきうけられぬと!
うーむ ?それが そなたの
かんがえならば いたしかたないの

What, you won't take it!
Hmm... About that, if that what
you would feel, there is no way. (?)

Then, if you talk to the king again :
Have you reconsidered? Will
you go to the Gate of the
Ancients and investigate?

もういちど たのむ マックス殿
古えのもんに 行ってはくれぬか?

One more time, I request you Max-dono,
won't you go to the ancient gate?
They really want Max for this mission. X D

When you say yes to the king, he'll say :
Very well! Now, return to
town and gather your troops.
Come back when you're ready.

そうか! ひきうけてくれるか!
では 町でなかまを あつめるがいい
そしてふたたび ここにもどるのじゃ

Is it so! You are undertaking this task!
Well then you should gather your compagnions (nakama) in town
and then come back here afterward.

**************************************

That's it for today. That the part of work I had accumulated up to to now.
I'll have to go back to translating before posting new stuff.
From now on, the post should be smaller... I think? ^^;

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Sat May 23 2009 3:04am
by Flygon
So they basically had zero idea it was Runefaust.

Man, the japanese plot really did have you wondering.

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Sat May 23 2009 3:55am
by TheUnknownMarine
Mew seeker @ Sat May 23, 2009 2:33 am) wrote:
"Chesto" reminds me of a very specific character in Super Robot Wars. : P

I AM MAX! THE SWORD THAT SMITES EVIL!

THERE IS NOTHING MY SWORD CANNOT CUT!

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Sat May 23 2009 4:04am
by Mew seeker
So they basically had zero idea it was Runefaust.

On the other hand, the GBA script was more accurate,
to the point that to have an idea of what happened in the Japanese Genesis version,
you could look at the GBA U.S. script and not be too far off. Seriously.

I managed to do a bit more today.
The rest of the castle, to be more precise.

When you talk to the king again :
Gather your troops, quickly.
There is no time to lose!

はやく なかまをそろえるのじゃ
きちんと したくをせねば
しゅっぱつは できんぞ

Quickly get the preparation of your compagnions done.
Should you not be fully done with this
departure will not be possible.


Varios:
I'll leave everything to you.
I must fortify the castle.

たのんだぞ! マックス殿
私は 城のけいごに
あたらねば ならぬのだ

I'm asking/begging you! Max-dono.
As for me I can't, should I have
to take care of the castle defense.

Maybe that's why Varios feel bad.
He would have rather done the job himself.


Minister:
Hummph! Seems like a mighty
poor plan to me! But who
listens to my advice?

おまえのような うまれもわからぬ者
わしは ぜったいに しんようせんぞ
ふん 見るからに いやしい かおだ

Person of your kind are born stupid. (?)
I absolutely don't trust (in you?) at all.
Phmm, from what I see (?) you have a shabby face. (?)

I didn't understand all of it but I can tell Max is being looked upon down.

Girl in the rigth of the room behind the king :
Grrr! I'm so mad! Do you want
to know why?

ああ まったく あたまにきちゃう!
あんたも そうおもうでしょ?
でしょ でしょ?

Ah I'm intirely doing something (going mad?) in my head!
Don't you think so too?
Do you, do you?

I'm not sure which verb it is. ^^;
It's not the standard form but instead a less formal form.


If you say no :
Why I never! How rude!

?ひどい
まだ なんにも いってないのに?

...awful/not nice.
I didn't say anything yet...


If you say yes :
It's that Tao! How dare she
call herself a mage? If she's
a mage, I'm a footstool!

そうなのよ ちょっと きいてよ!
しんいりの じじょでね
タオっていう子が いるのよ
まほうのさいのうが あるとかで
アンリ様の ごがくゆうになって
いまじゃ お城のまどうし様よ!
あたしは じじょのままなのに?

Really, it's something I just heard!
It's that new/novice maid,
a child called Tao.
Because of thing like magical talents,
by becoming Anri-sama school friend,
she is now the castle's magic user-sama!
If I was a maid... (?)

I didn't get everything but I sense jealousy and grudge.

Girl in the left of the room behind the king :
Princess Anri is away in
Manarina. Do you know about
the land of Manarina?

ここは アンリひめのおへやよ
ひめ様はいま マナリナで
おべんきょう してるの
あなた マナリナって ごぞんじ?

This is princess Anri (Anri-hime) 's room.
The princess-sama is
studying in Manarina.
Do you know about Manarina?


If you say no :
Manarina holds an Arcane
College, where the best mages
are trained.

マナリナってね まどうしの国なの
すごい まどうしが たくさんいる
まほう大国なんですって!
ひめ様は そこで まなばれていて
かえってきたら この国に
まほうのがっこうを つくられるの!

The place named Manarina is a country of magic user.
There are a lot of amazing magician there.
It's the large country of magic!
The princess-sama is studying there
so that when she come back to this country,
she will make a magic school!

A bit of the princess background was lost.

If you say yes :
I see you are well-informed.

へえ ものしりなのね
あたし そういう人って すき!

He, you are well informed.
I like that kind of person!


Bookcases in the room behind the king, from left to rigth :
Manarina- Land of Magic,
Attack Magic for Beginners,
and many more books.

「まほうの国のマナリナ」
「こうげきまほう・しょきゅうへん」
いろいろなほんが ならんでいる

"The magic country Manarina"
"Attack magic elementary compilation/edition"
There are various books here.


Your First Blaze, Pointers
for Mages, and many more
books.

「はじめてのブレイズ」
「まどうしのこころえ」
いろいろなほんが ならんでいる

"First time Blaze"
"Magician's knowledge"
There are various books here.


Your First Spark, Tales of
Otrant, and many more books.

「すぐにわかるスパーク」
「オトラントものがたり」
いろいろなほんが ならんでいる

"Spark understood right away"
"Otrant's Tale(s?) (monogatari)"
There are various books here.


The Princess' Primer, I Was
a Tomboy Princess, and many
more books.

・・・・・
むずかしいほんが ならんでいる

.....
There are difficult books here.

Some background was instead made up here. X D

King's maid in the floor above the king :
Take care, Max. It is
more dangerous out there than
you suspect! Or so I've heard.

へー あんたがマックスさん?
王様に えらばれて 古えのもんを
しらべに行くんだって?
だけど むりしちゃいけないよ
ケガでもしたら あんたのお母さんも
きっと かなしむだろうからね

Eh, you are Max-san...
Are you the one choosed by the king-sama
to go investigate the ancient gate?
However, don't overdo it/try the impossible
because should you get hurt, your mother
will undoubtly be sad.


Knight inside the castle, after talking to the king :
Why you? Why could't I lead
the Shining Force? Arrrgh!

私は きいたぞ!
おまえのような者が
だいじなしめいを たくされるとは!
いったい 王様やバリオス様は
なにを かんがえているのだ?
なっとくが いかんぞ!
これというのも ぶかの騎士たちが
たるんでいるのが 悪いのだ
よし さっそく くんれんだ!

I have heard!
That a person of your kind
was entrusted with an important mission!
What on earth the king-sama and Varios-sama
are thinking...
I don't understand/agree! (?)
That being said, if the subordinate knights
would slack off, it would be bad.
Well, let's go right away!

No mention of a Shining Force here.

*He then push you out and leave his room.*

*Then the knigth that were training are in position*

Knigth in front :
What's that troops? I can't
hear you! Louder!

ええーい もっと力をいれるんだ!
えいっ えいっ えいっ!
もっとだ! もっと!

Eeeei, put more strenght in it!
Eii eii eii!
Moore! More!


Six knigths in front of him :
Sir, yes, sir!

えいっ! えいっ! えいっ!

Eii eii eii!

**************************************************************

That's it for tonight.

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Sat May 23 2009 6:02am
by Flygon
Your First Spark, Tales of
Otrant, and many more books.

「すぐにわかるスパーク」
「オトラントものがたり」
いろいろなほんが ならんでいる

"Spark understood right away"
"Otrant's Tale(s?) (monogatari)"
There are various books here.

:shock:

I guess either the text was a late change for the spell itself (I'm reffering to bolt here for the clueless ;) ) or they simply weren't area that they were the same thing. :(

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Sat May 23 2009 9:51am
by Rick
There is a book in Manarina that refers to spark in the Euro version too IIRC..

But it gets more and more intriguing... in the Euro version, I'm almost certain that the King never mentions the legacy of the ancients or even know why Guardiana is protecting the gate!

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Sat May 23 2009 3:15pm
by Stordarth
The king mentions the legacy, and that they are guarding it. he also says that they know not whether it is of the light or the darkness, so you are right in that they don't know why they guard it.

This is a very cool thread. I always wondered how the japanese script differed from the uk version.

I would love to see this finalised. With the rate at which the sf1 editor is coming along, it might not be too far in the future before the translation could be inserted into the rom.

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Sat May 23 2009 11:59pm
by Martin III
Tao and Anri being school friends... that's new, isn't it?

Which sense of the word "maid" is that girl using? An unmarried woman, or a female servant? Be very interesting if Tao is a servant...

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Sun May 24 2009 12:40am
by TheUnknownMarine
Martin III @ Sat May 23, 2009 11:59 pm) wrote: Tao and Anri being school friends... that's new, isn't it?

Which sense of the word "maid" is that girl using? An unmarried woman, or a female servant? Be very interesting if Tao is a servant...

She was a maid in the castle, then Anri found out she had magical talent and made her the court wizardess. Well, in training anyway.

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Sun May 24 2009 3:53am
by Mew seeker
Edit : sorry for the blank post. I messed up somewhere in the HTML. ^^;
I'll post tomorrow. ^^;;;

Which sense of the word "maid" is that girl using?


After a quick search in yahoo Japanese dictionary,
I can say it's the "servant" sense. It might explain the girl jealousy.
Tao was a maid and then, *poof*, she's a mage.
Maybe it seemed easy.

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Sun May 24 2009 4:20am
by Flygon
:confused:

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Sun May 24 2009 4:20am
by MXC
I agree ;P

Nice work. Interesting stuff. I'll read more when my eyes stop bleeding.

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Sun May 24 2009 6:23pm
by Mew seeker
Ok, this time, I made sure that the post show up properly.
I have also shortened it just in case.
I'll post the rest later.


*Back to the town, a few persons from the castle catch you back.*

Luke:
Wait, Max! Nova sent
us. We're going with you. I am
Luke the warrior.

ノーバ様から はなしはきいたよ
おれたちも いっしょに行くぜ
?おれは戦士のラグ
戦いは おれのいのち?
戦いがあるところなら
どこへでも行くぜ

I/We have heard the talk/story from Nova-sama.
We will go together with you.
... I am Lug the warrior.
Fighting is my life.
If there is fighting somewhere,
I'll go there.
In some mythology (celtic?), Lug is the name of a god.

Ken:
Ken the knight, at your
service, Max! I'll
follow you wherever you lead.

おれは騎士のケンです
まだ 見ならいだけど がんばります
おれ? マックスさんのこと
そんけいしてるんです!
?メイさんには ないしょだけど

I am Ken the knight.
I have not see yet (?) however I'll persevere. (?)
I... about Max-san,
I have esteem for you!
... but keep it a secret from Mei-san.

Tao:
I am Tao. I'm only an
apprentice mage, but I'll do
my best.

私は まどうしのタオ
まだ べんきょうちゅうですけど
いっしょうけんめい がんばります

I am the magician Tao.
I am still studying but
I'll persevere as much as I can.

Hans:
I am Hans, an elven archer.
I'm coming, but don't put me
in the front lines, OK?

おれはハンス エルフのアーチャーさ
でも まいったな?
おれ 戦いは にがてなんだよ
でも 王様のめいれいだから?
あんたに ついてくよ!

I am The elven archer Hans
but I'm beaten up... (?)
I am somewhat poor at/ dislike battles
but since it was the king-sama's order...
I'll go with you!
Sounds like someone won't stay long in our actives forces. : P

(Luke, Ken, Tao and Hans
join the Shining Force!)

「ラグ・ケン・タオ・ハンスが
なかまになった!」

"Lug, Ken, Tao and Hans
became companions!" (nakama)
No mention yet of the Shining Force.
Instead, when someone joins, they become a nakama.
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Nakama


Luke:
Meet us at headquarters back
in the castle!

じゃあ おれたちは 
お城のほんじんで まってるぜ!

Well, we'll be waiting
in the castle's headquarter!

*They leave and then Lowe appear.*

Lowe:
Hey Max! Don't try to
sneak out of town without
me!

マックス きいたぜ!
古えのもんに行くんだって?
それなら オレも つれて行けよ!
きっと やくにたつぜ!

I have heard Max!
You're going to the ancient gate?
In that case I'll come along too!
I will undoubtly be helpful!

(Lowe joins the
Shining Force!)

「ロウが なかまになった!」

"Lowe became a companion!"

Nova appear, saying :
Now that you have your
comrades, return to the king
to hear his final commands.
I'll follow your progress
and offer advice as you face
the vile hordes of Runefaust.

どうやら なかまが そろいましたな
王様が おまちですぞ
それと いいわすれましたが
私も たんさくに さんかしますぞ
王様も それをのぞんでおられた
戦いに くわわるのは ムリですが
ぐんしとして おやくにたちましょう

It seems you have gathered your companions.
The king-sama is waiting.
There is this thing I forgot to mention you.
I will participate too by exploring.
This too was the king's desire.
While joining battle would not be possible,
I shall be useful as a strategist.

Lowe:
Well, that's settled. See you
at headquarters!

えっ ノーバ様がくわわるのか?
それならば ひゃくにん力だ!
ノーバ様 まいりましょう
それじゃ ほんじんでまってるぜ

Eh, Nova-sama is coming as well?
If that's the case, that'll be a great help! (literally, a "hundred man strenght"!)
(Since?) Nova-sama shall be going
in that case, I'll (or Nova?) be waiting at headquarter.

*Then, they both leave.*

Guard near headquarters, after you have troops :
Good luck, Max!

がんばってください マックス殿!

Please don't give up, Max-dono!

When you come back to talk to the king :
You have your troops, but you
need supplies. Take this to
purchase what you need.

おお なかまがそろったか それでは
これで したくをととのえるがよい

Oh, you have gathered your companions. Well then,
you should make your preparations with this.

(Max gains 100 Coins!)

「マックスは きんか100まいを
てにいれた!」

"Max obtained
100 gold coins!"

King of Guardiana:
A cart will take you to the
Gate of the Ancients. Go now
and carry out your task!

町を出たところに ばしゃがあるはず
そなたたちを 古えもんまで
おくりとどけてくれる

There should be a cart just outside of town.
It will bring you (your group)
up to the ancient gate.

If you talk again to the king :
Good luck, Max. You
must succeed or Guardiana
falls!

たのんだぞ マックスよ
わしは そなたをしんじておるぞ

I beg you Max.
I have faith in you.

Minister:
It'll never work! We're all
doomed, I tell you. Doomed!

なんどでも いってやるぞ
わしは おまえのことなんぞ
すこしも しんようしとらん!

No matter what you do,
I have no trust at all
about you!

Left guard near the exit :
I see that you have the King's
permission to leave. Good luck!

王様からはなしは きいております
気をつけて 行ってきてください

I have heard from the king-sama.
Please go carefully.

Rigth guard near the exit :
If you sense great danger,
don't hesitate to retreat.
Use your Egress spell.

たいへんなことに なりましたね
むりしないで あぶなくなったら
たいきゃくしてくださいよ
レターンのじゅもんを
つかうといいですよ

If the situation have become terrible,
don't try the impossible should it become dangerous.
Please retreat.
Using the Return spell
would be a good idea.
For some reason, Return was renamed in the game into Egress.

Priest :
I sense you are headed into
great danger, Max.
Can I be of any assistance?

古えのもんに 行かれるのですか?
あのふきんには じゃあくな気はいが
ただよっております?
じゅうぶん お気をつけください
みなに ケガがないよう
いのって おきましょう
さて 私に おてつだいできることは
ございますか?

Are you going to the ancient gate?
In that vicinity the indication of evil
is drifting in the air...
Please be careful enough.
I will pray that
everyone don't get hurt.
Well, how can I be
of help to you?

And afterward :
Welcome, Max!
I've been expecting you.
How can I help you
and the Shining Force?

まよえる こひつじよ!
よくぞ 我が教会に まいられた
神と光の名において そなたの
のぞみを かなえて しんぜよう!

Stray lambs!
You have done well (?) to come in my church.
In the name of God and the light, your
wishes shall be granted!
For some reason, that part was modified. X D
"Stray lambs" is meant here in the religious meaning.
That's the standard thing the priests say when you talk to them


************************************************

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Sun May 24 2009 10:40pm
by Martin III
Mew seeker @ Sun May 24, 2009 6:23 pm) wrote: For some reason, Return was renamed in the game into Egress.

Probably because that's what the spell was called in the English version of Shining in the Darkness.

I really like Ken's intro line. The game implies that Varios was of the highest prestige in the Guardiana army, so it makes sense that Ken would know of his apprentice.

Interesting indeed about Tao being a servant. I'll have to keep that info in mind.

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Mon May 25 2009 1:48am
by Mew seeker
Here is the rest of what should have been posted yesterday.

************************************
Battle # 1 : Gate of the Ancients
************************************

Lowe:
Max!
Goblins! Runefaust
must be up to something!

なんだ あいつら?
?ゴ ゴブリンだぞ!

What are those guys?
...it, it's goblins!

Tao:
We can take them,
Max!

あの騎士のいでたち?
あれはルーンファウストの騎士では!?

That knight outfit...
That would be a Runefaust knight!?
Our teammates are going through a "What the heck?!" moment. : )

Rune knight:
Move it, vermin! Find the key
to this blasted door!

ゴブリン ドワーフ! いそげ!
ふういんのカギを さがすのだ!

Goblins, dwarfs! Hurry!
Look for the seal key!

C'mon, we're almost in!

はやくしろ!
このもんさえあけば 古えの城に
はいれるのだ!

Be quick!
If that gate could just be opened, the ancient castle
could be entered!
He's really in a hurry. Maybe he did expect some visit.

Where is that blasted key?

そのへんに かくしてないか?
?!?

Isn't it hidden in this area?
...!?

What? Blast it! Those fools
from Guardiana are here!

な なんだ きさまたちは!?
しまった! ガーディアナのヤツラに
気づかれたか!

Wh, who are those guy!? (kisama)
Damn! Those Guardiana guys
have noticed!
"Kisama" is a very not polite way to say "you" in Japanese.

*There's a earthquake*

Earthquake!

う うわーっ!

U, uwaahhh!

Rune knight:
Attack, goblins and dwarves!
Strike a blow for the honor
of Runefaust!

な なんだ いまのじしんは!
まあいい?やつらを かたづけたら
ゆっくり しらべるとしよう
ゆけい ゴブリンども!

Wha, what an earthquake now!
Well it's good. If we finish those guys,
we'll be able to investigate at ease.
You goblins (-domo), go!
Domo is not much polite either when added to others name,
althought maybe more in a "I am above you" way?


*When the battle is won*

Rune knight:
Fools...you have won here,
but Lord Kane of Runefaust is
even now attacking Guardiana!

?それで かったつもりか?
?ははは ははは!
我が ルーンファウストのカイン様が
ガーディアナにせめこんだのだ?
いまごろ おまえたちの国は?
?ラムラドゥ様 えいえんなれ!

....with this, I supported (?) my plan...
... hahaha hahaha!
We and Runefaust's Kain-sama
are invading Guardiana...
About now, your country...
... long live to Ramladu-sama! (literally "become eternal")
He's out of breath.
Also, first mention of Ramladu.
We only hear about him very late in the U.S. version


*He dies and you hear a rumble*

Nova:
If that creature spoke truly,
we must return to help defend
Guardiana!

いまの ルーンナイトのことばが
ほんとうだとすると?
たいへんですぞ マックス殿!
?ガーディアナに
いそいで もどりましょうぞ!

If that current Runefaust talk
would be really true...
It's terrible Max-dono!
...Let's hurry back
to Guardiana!
Nova just realized how bad things are.

If you try to go to the castle to the north to soon,
plenty of guards tells you :
Who are you? Go back to
wherever you came from!

きさま なに者だ!
さあ じぶんの国にかえれ!

Who the heck are you! (kisama)
Well, go back to your country!

House near the Gate of the Ancients :

Monk outside :

I am Gong. I have fought the
evil of Runefaust for many
years. I will aid you.

私はモンク 名をゴングともうします
このこやの ごろうじんをたずね
はるばる 旅をしてきました
ごろうじんのもとで しゅぎょうを
しようと おもっていらのですが
それは またのきかいにゆずります
ただしき心の者が戦っているのに
見て見ぬふりは できません
私も あなたとともに戦いましょう!

I am a monk called by the name Gong.
Looking for the old man in this cabin,
I travelled from afar.
I was thinking of doing
the ascetic practice/training/studying under this old man but
I'll have to give up (?) another opportunity, (?)
If people with righteous hearts are fighting,
I am not able to look the other way.
I too shall fight with you!
"I fought the bad guys before. I'll come along." : P
Seriously, I like the original better here.
While I didn't got all of it,
I understand that Gong gave up on whatever he was intending to do
to give the others a hand.


(Gong joins the
Shining Force!)

「ゴングが なかまになった!」

"Gong became a companion!"

Gong :
I will join your troops.

それでは私は あなたのおなかまの
ところへ行っていましょう

With this, I shall go to
your compagnions place.

*He then leaves*

Weird creature outside :
Greetings, Max. I have
been waiting for you.

・・・・・

.....

Note : in the Japanese version, in his picture, it's written :

イカス

cool/stylish
By the way, I suggest you to look at this picture :
http://www.shiningforcecentral.com/artw ... elliot.jpg


Old man inside the house :

Well, what a surprise! Rarely
do we have guests in such a
remote area.
I am a friar, though I may
not look it.
How can I help you?

こんなやまおくで おきゃくさんとは
めずらしい むむ なにかこまってる
ことがおありじゃな?
こう見えても むかしは教会の神父を
しとったんじゃよ?
わしにできうことなら いっておくれ

That we have a guest inside this mountain
is unusual. Mhmh Is there something
that bother you?
If you look at it this way (?), back then I taught (?)
to the church father...
If there is something i can do (?), come. (???)
I have trouble to understand the second half.
That being said, he does the same things than other priests so it must be related.
If truly he taught to the priest in Guardiana and since Gong went to see him,
he must be someone important religious-wise.


Woman inside the house :
Strange things are in the
woods. They give me the
creeps.

さいきん こやのまわりで へんな
いきものを見かけるの?
あたし 気もち悪い?

Lately in this hut surrounding, we noticed
weird living thing...
I have a bad feeling...

*****************************
Battle # 2 : To Guardiana
*****************************

Nova:
The earthquake blocked the
road. Head north, but be
ready for battle.

マックス殿 いまじしんで
道がふさがれています
?どうやら 敵がいる
きたがわの やま道を
とおらねば なりませんぞ!

Max-dono, the road have been blocked
by the current earthquake.
... it seems there are enemies.
Should we not use the north side
mountain road, we won't make it!

Rune knight:
No one enters Guardiana while
we live! For Darksol!

カイン様が てがかりを見つけるまで
ガーディアナには ひとりもいれるな
みなの者 まもりをかためるのだ!

Until Kain-sama have discovered a clue/trail,
not a single person must be let going into Guardiana.
Everyone, tighten the defense!
No mention of Dark Sol yet in the original.

A dwarf :
Death to Guardiana!

うおぉぉぉーっ

Uoooohh

Another dwarf :
Death to Guardiana!

うおぉぉぉーっ

Uoooohh

*When you win the battle*
Nova:
Well done, Shining Force!
Now, enter Guardiana and find
out what's happened there!

敵はすべて げきはしましたぞ
ガーディアナが しんぱいです
さ いそぎましょうぞ!

The enemy was completely (or all of them?) crushed.
I'm worried about Guardiana.
Well, let's hurry!

***********************************************

That's it for today.
I'll have to go back to translating a bit more.

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Mon May 25 2009 2:24am
by Kaihaku
Very awesome, thanks for doing this.

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Mon May 25 2009 7:38am
by Flygon
The translators REALLY took their liberties a bit far even to this point. :eyebrow:

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Mon May 25 2009 10:27am
by Rick
heh, the Japanese version gives LOTS of insight and makes the game more well rounded!

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Tue May 26 2009 1:52am
by Mew seeker
Today is that part when you reenter Guardian and all is destroyed.
And... Well, just imagine you play the game with the original text instead.
Remember the music that play, especially when Gort joins you.

When you enter Guardiana, one of the entrance guard say :
You made it back! You're a
little late. We were almost
overrun by Runefaust!
We held them off, but we've
suffered greatly, as you'll
see as you wander around.
Most of our knights were lost
in the battle...many homes
were damaged. But we held!
We'll keep watch here.
Runefaust is bound to attack
again, sooner or later.

たいへんです!
ルーンファウスト軍が
とつぜん せめこんできました!
私たちも ひっしに戦い
ヤツラを どうにか
おいはらったのですが…
こちらのひがいも ふかく
騎士のほとんどが やられて…
ここは 私たちが まもりです
城を まもってください
まだ 敵がいるかもしれません

It's terrible!
The Runefaust army
suddenly invaded us.
We have somehow managed
to drive away those guys
in a desesperate battle but...
The damage here is great.
Almost all of the knight were wiped out.
Here, we are protecting this place.
Please go defend the castle.
Still, there might be enemies left.

Slightly less hopeful here.

Rigth guard near the exit :
Don't worry about your
comrades. We've sent them up
to headquarters.

おなかまは まだ そとですか?
ほんじんで まつように
つかいの者を 出しておきます
マックス様は 城の様子を
見てきてください おねがいします

Are you compagnions still outside?
There are messengers/users(?)
that seem to be waiting in the headquarters.
Max-sama, please go look
at the castle's situation please.

Max-sama... At a time like this, Max come as a hero...

Inn owner:
Praise the Light that's over!
Monsters, fighting...I can't
take much more of this!

いやあ びっくりしますた…
よろいすがたの へいたいたちが
いきなり やってきたんです!
さんざん あばれまわって
お城の方に 行きましたよ

That was a baad (?) surprise...
Soldiers in armor
suddenly came!
They went severely rampaging
in the castle's direction.


Wounded guard:
Their commander...Kane of
Runefaust...evil to the core!

うう ウワサにはきいていたが…
ルーンファウストの…カイン!
ヤツは ばけものだ!
みんなで 戦ったのに…
まったく かなわなかった…

I, I have heard the rumor but...
Runefaust's ... Kain!
That guy is a monster!
Even though everyone fought him...
They were completely no match...

More than being evil,
the impression is that Kain is really, really strong.


Old man near the town entrance:
I wanted to fight. But my legs
were shaking so hard I got
dizzy and passed out.

敵に たちむかおうと したんじゃが
恐くて なんにもできんかった…
こんなことじゃ マナリナに行っても
ろくなしゅぎょうは できんじゃろな

I thought of fighting the opponent but
I was so scared I couldn't do anything...
With this (?), about (?) going to Manarina,
I won't be able to do a good study. (?)


Weapons seller:
Welcome Max!
Those vile Runefausters
have made me mad.
I have weapons guaranteed to
knock those monsters' heads
off. Take a look.

おれも ルーンファウストには
ホントにアタマに きたぜ!
ほら 見てくれよ このしなものを!
あんたに やくにたてて ほしくて
ひっしにあつまたんだ
さあ しょうばいをはじめようか!

I will too (?) truly cut the head
to those Runefaust guys! (?)
Come look at those goods!
I have desesperently gathered
anything useful that you might like (?) for you!

While I didn't get everything, I can tell he's really angry.
If I'm not misteken, the "knock those monsters' heads"
was inspired from the original.


Items seller:
I'd have fought, if I could,
but all I'm good at is buying
and selling.

ヤツラを やっつけてやりたいが
戦いのにがてな おれができるのは
道具をうることくらいだよ

I would like to beat those guy but
I (we?) am poor at battle. The only thing I am able to do
seem to be selling tools/items.


Man in the house who had a cart in front of it :
I sent my family away, but I
stayed and fought.

ここも おそわれたけど
おれは にげなかったよ
このいえは おれの城だからな

It was attacked here too but
I didn't run away,
Because this house is my castle (?).


Bookshelf in his house :
Disciplining Children,
Home Accounting,
and many more books.

「子どものしつけ」
「かけいぼ」
いろいろなほんが ならんでいる

"Children training/raising?"
"Household account book" ?
There are many book here.


Villager which had a cart next to him :
We almost lost. I still don't
know why they pulled back!

ひどいめに あったぜ…
おまえも せいぜい気をつけるんだな

Those awful guys appeared...
Be as much careful as possible.


Basement of the house with a dog house near it :
-Dog:
Arf...arf!

くーん くーん

Kuun kuun

Woman :
Those beasts! I'll have
nightmares forever!

ああ お母さんが…
しくしく…どうしてあ…
ひどい…ひどすぎる
ゴートおじいちゃんでも
たすけられなかったなんて…

Ahh mother...
Sob... Why...
Awful... It's too cruel.
But if Grandpa-chan Gort
didn't save me...


Bar Owner :
Those monsters would've
wrecked my shop, but the old
guy drove them off!

ルーンファウストの へいたいは
ここも おそってきたんです!
私も ころされるかと…
ところが ところがですよ!
そこのジイさんが へいたいを
おい出して くれたんです!

The runefaust soldiers
went to attack here too!
I would have been killed (too?)...
Here, in this place!
That old man there
drived out the soldier!


Gort :
You know, that little fracas
made me want to fight again.
Max, I'm joining up!

ルーンファウスト軍は この町を
メチャクチャに しやがった…
そればかりか わしのかぞくまで…
だが わしひとりの力では
どうすることも できんかった…
たのむ! わしもなかまにしてくれ!
どうしても ヤツラを
ぶちのめしたいんじゃ!

The Runefaust army killed (?)
needlessly in this town...
Even almost all of my family...
But by my strenght alone
I wasn't able to do something...
I beg you! Let me come as a companion!
At any cost I want to
beat those guy up!

I'm not 100% sure about "killed"
but I think it's the right translation here.


(Gort joins the
Shining Force!)

「ゴートが なかまになった!」

"Gort became a compagnion!"

Gort:
I'll be at headquarters.

それじゃあ ほんじんに行って
あんたを まっていることにするよ

Well then, I'll go at the headquarter.
I will be waiting about you.


*He then leaves*

Wounded guard near church:
We won...this time. But what
about the next attack?

この 教会は なんとか
まもりとおしました なあに
こんなケガ たいしたことは…
いて いててて
…えへん だいじょうぶですよ
大したことは ありません!

Somehow, we were able
to defend this church.
That injury is a serious thing.
Ouch, ouch-ow
... Ahem, I am fine, really.
It's no big deal at all!

They softened thing in the U.S. version
but removed that slightly funny bit?
It was much needed in the original if you ask me.


Woman at the church:
Just let them try to come in
here! I'll whap 'em silly!

いったい なにがおきたのよ?
たてものが もえているのが見えたし
ひめいも たくさん きこえたわ

What on earth happened?
The buildings, I have see them burning.
I have heard lot of screams.

She was lucky to be there inside.

Old man at the church:
Good for you, youngster. Come
see me later. Right now I'm
tired from all the commotion.

わしは ずっと あんたのことを
かんがえていたよ…
…なにを かんがえていたかと?
この国を出るとき もういちど
ここを たずねておくれ
そのときに 教えるよ

All that time, I was thinking
of about you...
...what was I thinking about?
At the time of leaving this country, when you'll
come back here one more time,
at that time I will tell you.

That's the real reason he want us to come back later.

*******************************************

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Tue May 26 2009 9:02am
by Cullsoft
"Gort became a compagnion!"

I'm sure that's French for something completely different to companion. :shifty:


But sweeping that aside, this is some most excellent work, and precisely the sort of thing I'm interested in reading. :D Would it be okay for me to take the posts you're making and turn them into HTML pages with three columns (as suggested earlier) for easier reading, with credit to you?

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Tue May 26 2009 9:45am
by Rick
Gort story suddenly becomes much more sad... his family was almost killed, rather than just joining up for a fight!

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Tue May 26 2009 11:40pm
by Martin III
Mew seeker @ Tue May 26, 2009 1:52 am) wrote: Villager which had a cart next to him :
We almost lost. I still don't
know why they pulled back!

ひどいめに あったぜ?
おまえも せいぜい気をつけるんだな

Those awful guys appeared...
Be as much careful as possible.

Heh, it looks like the translators were poking fun at the plot hole in that part of the story.

Dang it! Gort! You're just another Earnest now... :( Amazing that they changed his character that much.

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Wed May 27 2009 1:20am
by TheUnknownMarine
Martin III @ Tue May 26, 2009 11:40 pm) wrote: Heh, it looks like the translators were poking fun at the plot hole in that part of the story.

Dang it! Gort! You're just another Earnest now... :( Amazing that they changed his character that much.

What plot hole?

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Wed May 27 2009 2:38am
by Mew seeker
"Gort became a compagnion!"

I'm sure that's French for something completely different to companion.


Well, it's more or less the same in both languages... :sweatdrop:

Well, you see, while it's not always apparent,
English isn't my first language. It's French.
Sometime, I mix up words from both languages. :sweatdrop:

Would it be okay for me to take the posts you're making and turn them into HTML pages with three columns (as suggested earlier) for easier reading, with credit to you?


Sure. ^^
And just in case, I also have a copy of the Japanese and U.S. script as well
if you're interested. There's no translation with them though. ^^;

Gort story suddenly becomes much more sad... his family was almost killed,


The fact that the little girl is alone in the house doesn't help either.

What plot hole?


If it's about the soldier pulling back or not being in town,
well thay had to stay outside to prevent anyone to enter
while Kain was dealing with his own business in town.

More translation will be posted next time.

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Wed May 27 2009 2:40am
by Martin III
TheUnknownMarine @ Wed May 27, 2009 1:20 am) wrote: What plot hole?

Why did the Runefaust army retreat and abandon their leader when they had already pretty much wiped out the Guardiana army?

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Wed May 27 2009 3:28am
by TheUnknownMarine
Martin III @ Wed May 27, 2009 2:40 am) wrote: Why did the Runefaust army retreat and abandon their leader when they had already pretty much wiped out the Guardiana army?

Because they were never after Guardiana to begin with. They were there for the door and the sword of light. Once they had those, they had no reason to stay.

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Wed May 27 2009 4:03am
by Martin III
I dunno, I tend to think Kane had some importance in the Runefaust army.

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Wed May 27 2009 5:55am
by TheUnknownMarine
Martin III @ Wed May 27, 2009 4:03 am) wrote: I dunno, I tend to think Kane had some importance in the Runefaust army.

He did, but he's also quite capable of moving around on his own.

Judging from his swift movements, he probably has Egress magic of some sort, so transport is not a problem. And as strong as he is, he does not need a bodyguard.

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Thu May 28 2009 1:09am
by Mew seeker
>>>>>>>>>>>>I dunno, I tend to think Kane had some importance in the Runefaust army.

From what I understand fromt the Japanese version,
after they pretty much trashed the town and it's people,
Kain ordered the others to stay ouside and prevent anyone to enter
so that he could do what he had to without interference.
Note : standard quotation was messing with my post.

Ok, a little bit from inside the castle.


Left wounded guard at the castle entrance :
Those beasts were
everywhere! I keep expecting
one to leap at me even now.

城には まだルーンファウスト軍が
ひそんでいるかも しれません
気をつけてください!

Inside the castle, there might still have
Runefaust forces lurking.
Please be careful!


Rigth wounded guard at the castle entrance :
Take care, Max.
No place is safe now.

城のなかに 敵の騎士がいる!
そういう しらせがありました
くれぐれも 気をつけてください!

Inside the castle, there are enemy knights!
There was such signs/clues (about it).
Please be constantly careful!


As you enter the castle, the minister appears and say :
Hurry, Max! Kane of
Runefaust has injured the
king and Lord Varios!

た た た たいへんだ!
ルーンファウストのカインが…
王様をきずつけ バリオスと…

It, it, it, it's awful!
Runefaust Cain is...
The king-sama is hurt and Varios too...


As you go inside, Varios, in front of the king, is facing a warrior and say :
Go away, Kane!
I don't understand what
you are talking about!

なんどいえば わかるのだ!
この城に ふういんのカギなどない!

How much must I say it to make you understand!
In this castle, there are no things like a seal key!


Kane :
Anyway, the treasure of
Guardiana is in my hand now.

どうやら そのようだな…
だがこうして ガーディアナの宝が
てにはいった…
ラムラドゥ様に よいみやげが
できたいうものだ

It would seem it's like that...
But then, I have obtained (litterally, entered in the hand)
Guardiana's treasure...
I say (?) it would be a good present/souvenir
to Ramladu-sama.

I'm not so sure about the end.
Maybe instead "I don't have any good souvenit to bring back"?
In any case, he's bringing the treasure with him.


Varios:
I won't let you take that!
Just leave!

ううぬ ちょうしにのるなよ!
宝をおいて いますぐこの城から
出て行け!

Y, you (unu), don't take/make that tone/mood! (?)
Leave immediatly from the castle
withouth the treasure! (?)

I'm not 100% sure here either.
Varios didn't reacted too well to Kain.
"unu" is another not too polite way of saying "you".


Kane:
Sword of Darkness!
Show me your power!!

あんこくの剣よ!
じごくのほのおを もやせ!

Darkness sword (blade?)!
Burn the flame of hell!

"Infernal flame" could be another translation but it's more or less the same.

*There's a big flash.*

Varios:
Arrrghhh!

ぐわああーっ!!

Gwaaaahh!!

*Varios dissapears*

(Varios dies.)

「バリオスは いきたえた」

"Varios went away." (literally, went instinct)

*Then, everyone face downward*

Mae:
No! Father!
I... I can't believe it!
I'll, I'll...

きゃあーっ 父上!
ゆ ゆるさぬ! …父のかたき!

Kyaahh, father!
I, I won't forgive you! ...father's enemy!


*Mae go toward Kane (attack him?) but she's pushed back.*

Kane:
Now, Guardiana is unworthy
of my attention.
Farewell, fools!

ガーディアナ おそるるにたらず!
ふういんのカギが ないのから
もはや ここにようはない!
…さらばだ!

Guardiana is not scary anymore! (?)
If there is no seal key,
I have no business here anymore!
... farewell!

Or maybe not scary enough anymore.
Basically, there are no more "serious" threats anymore.


*Kane fade away.*

Mae:
Max!
Look to the king!

たいへんよ マックス!
王様の様子が!

It's terrible Max!
The king's state!

What, not even a -san here? : P
Although, to be fair, the situation is such
that formalities and thing like that are dropped.


*Max and Mae go in front of the king.*

King of Guardiana:
Max...Mae...
I don't think I'll live
much longer, thought Varios
protected me. Listen,
the gate of the Ancients is
the only access to the Tower.
And the gate can be opened
only with the key.
You must find it before it
falls into the hands of evil!
You should never let them
open the gate!
Find out why Runefaust is
interested in the gate...
Please...
Mae...
Daughter of the great
Varios, help Max...
avenge your father!...
and be strong...

おお マックス それにメイか
バリオスが かばってくれたが
わしのいのちは もう…
きくのだ わかものたちよ
神々のいさん…それがなにかは
わしにも わからぬ…
いさんがねむる 古えの城には
あの 古えのもんからしか
はいることが できぬ…
ルーンファウストのこうてい
ラムラドゥは もんをあけるため
ふういんのカギを さがしているのだ
ヤツのてに カギがわたれば
いつのひか ふういんがとかれ…
このルーンたいりくは…ほろぶ!
たのむ…ヤツらよりさきに
ふういんのカギを 見つけだし
…そして しまつしてくれ!
バリオスのむすめメイよ
そなたに めいずる!
マックスをたすけてやれ
バリオスにまけぬ
りっぱな騎士に なるのだぞ

Oh, is it Max and there Mei.
Varios came to protect me but
my life is already...
Listen young ones.
The legacy of the gods... What this is,
I do not know...
The legacy sleeping in the ancient castle,
it is not possible to enter it but (?)
from that ancient gate...
Runefaust's emperor
Ramladu, in order to open the gate
is searching for the seal key.
Should the key fall into his hands
one day and the seal should dissolve (?)
this Rune continent... will be ruined!
I beg you... before those people
find the seal key
... and go take care of the situation! (begining to end)
Varios's daughter Mei,
I command you!
Give your assistance to Max.
Varios didn't loose.
You will become a fine knight.

First, Mae is written Mei in the Japanese version.
I don't know if the pronunciation is the same. ^^;
I think the King say that the only way to enter the ancient castle
is through the ancient gate.
The part about if the seal dissolved should be right.
I'm not sure how to connect the "didn't loose" part.
Maybe that by helping Max, what Varios did wasn't in vain?
Oh and here is the first real explanation of who Ramladu is.
At this point, he would be the bad guy.


Mae:
Your majesty...

王様…

King-sama...

King of Guardiana:
Please tell my daughter,
Anri, in Manarina...to stay
strong, for her people.........
.....

マナリナにいる 我がむすめ
アンリにつたえてほしい…
私は いつでもそばにいる…と
つよく・・・・・
やさしい・・・・・
・・・・・
I think the last part is the king asking his daugher to be strong and kind.

I would like that this be said
to my daughter Anri in Manarina...
I will always be close...
strong.....
kind.....
.....


(The king dies.)

「ガーディアナ王 いきたえた」

"The king of Guardiana went away."

*The king vanish.*

Mae:
Now it's not the time for tears
and grief. Alterone should be
out next goal.

う うう…父上…
それに王様までが こんなことに…

U, uu ... father ...
And this, as far as the king, that thing....

That was a lot in a short time for Mei.

Max!

マックス!

Max!
Still no "-san" but then again it might be justified with the situation.

Let's go find that key!
I don't want to see any more
of these tragedies!

王様のことばをきいた?
ふういんのカギを さがしましょう
こんなことが にどとおきないように
そして ふたりのかたきをうつために

Did you heard the King-sama words?
We must search the seal key.
To make it so (?) it doesn't occur a second time (?)
and in order to attack two enemies. (?)

I'm not 100% sure either. ^^;
Sounds somewhat right though.
Basically, Mei tell Max what they should/will do.
Then afterward (the two last sentences ending with "ni" make me think so),
she add a reason to do so and then a second one.
The two enemies would be Kain and Ramladu.


(Mae joins the
Shining Force!)

「メイが なかまになった!」

"Mei became a companion!"

Mae:
I'll await you at headquarters.
Be quick!

ヤツらのはなしを きいたわ
どうやら ふういんのカギをもとめて
アルタローンに むかったようだわ
私は ほんじんでたいきするわ
したくができたら さっそく
アルタローンに 行きましょう!

You have heard those guys talkings.
It seem that, looking for the seal key,
they're going toward Altaron (Arutaro-n).
I will be on stand by in the headquarter.
Should you be prepared, let go's
at once to Altaron!


*Then she leaves*

*********************************************************

Phew... ^^;;;

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Thu May 28 2009 6:36am
by Flygon
If they kept mentioning Ramladu this early in the game, I wouldn't have been thinking 'Who the hell is he' when I versed him way back when. :(

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Fri May 29 2009 1:26am
by Mew seeker
Here is the rest of the dialogues from the castle.


Minister:
I was so scared...
Kane...
His single glance froze me!

こ 恐かった…カイン…
あのひとみを見ただけで
恐ろしくて 剣もぬけなかった…

It, it was scary... Kain...
Just by having looked at that person,
I was afraid I would not escape his blade...


Girl in the left of the room behind the king :
Will your journey take you to
the town of Manarina?

あなたたち 旅に出るなら
マナリナにも行くわよね?

If you guys are leaving on a trip,
are you going to Manarina?


If you say no :
Oh. That's too bad....

そうなの? ざんねんねえ…

Is that so? That's too bad, huh...

If you say yes :
Then see Princess Anri! She
can help you.

だったら アンリ様に会えるわよ!
きっと あなたたちの力に
なってくださるわ

If it's the case, meet with Anri-sama!
Surely she will lend you
her help to you guys.


Girl in the rigth of the room behind the king :
Tell Tao "Good Luck" for me,
won't you? She'll need it.

あんたたち 旅に出るんだって?
ルーンファウストのヤツらを
やっつけに 行くのね…
え? タオも行くの?
だったら あの子に つたえてよ
…がんばっておくれって

Are you saying you guys are leaving on a trip?
You are going to attack
those Runefaust guys, huh...
Eh? Tao is coming too?
In that case, tell to that child
..."good luck/keep going".


House to the left of the castle :
-Old man :
Sigh. I can't believe the
king is dead.

そうですが… 王様が…
わしより はやく てんごくに
めされるなんて…うっうっう

It is so... the king-sama is...
Even more I am quickly called (?)
to heaven... hu hu hu (?)

I'm not so sure about the end. ^^;
Does he actually say that there is not much for him anymore
now that the king died?


-Girl:
Sniff...I was so...frightened.
I saw this in a dream.
I saw it...

えーん えーん コワかったよう
ゆめが ゆめが ホントになるなんて

enn enn in a way that was scary (?)
the dream, the dream truly became true.

Something like that.
I'm not sure how to deal with the "you" よう in the first line.


-Girl's mother:
I'm so glad to hear that my
husband's still alive!

うちの人 だいじょうぶかしら…
いえをまもるって ひとりで
のこってるんですよ…

I wonder if my husband is fine...
He remained by himself
to protect the house...

Not exactly the same in this version. X D

Left wounded guard at the castle entrance :
Good luck, Max.

がんばってください マックス殿

Please don't give up Max-dono.

Rigth wounded guard at the castle entrance :
Defeat Runefaust!

我々にかわって ルーンファウストを
やっつけてください!

Taking it over from us, please
attack Runefaust!


Old woman in the room above the king's room :
The king is dead...who shall
lead us now, with Anri far
away?

…王様のことは きいたよ
きっと ヤツらを
やっつけておくれよ…
あんたのことは わすれないよ

...I have heard about the king-sama.
Surely, you will be
attacking those guys...
I won't forget about you.


Treasure room's guard :
The treasure...they took all
they could carry. Get it
back, Max!

…た たいへんだ!
ガーディアナの宝が
力づくで ぬすまれてしまった!
たのむ マックス殿
宝を とりもどしてくれ!

... it's, it's awful!
Guardiana's treasure
was stolen by force!
I beg you Max-dono,
take back the treasure!

Maybe it's just me but the U.S. version make it sound
like they stole stuff like money and such. : P


Mage at the bottom of the tower :
Talk to the old man in the
chapel. He knows much.
Perhaps he can advise you.

ふういんのカギを さがしに行くと?
ならば 教会のろうじんを
たずねてみるがいい
あの人は むかし 戦士だったときく
ルーンたいりくの あらゆるとちを
たったひとりで 旅してきたらしい

Are you looking for the seal key?
In that case, it would be a good idea
to ask the old man at the church.
I have heard that person was a knight long ago.
Apparently he travelled only by himself
in every bits of the Rune continent.


Old man near the telescope :
Blasted telescope! What good
is it if I couldn't spot the
Runefaust army with it?

くう わしとしたことが
ルーンファウスト軍のせっきんに
すこしも 気づかんかったとは…
これからは ちかくも見える
とおめがねをつくらねば!

Kuu, the things below by me(?),
that I noticed little of
the Runefaust army approaching...
Because of this/from here, if only a telescope (?)
looking in the neighbourhood wasn't made! (?)

Another one that give me trouble.
Maybe he means that because he was so busy with the telescope,
he didn't noticed the invasion?


****************************************************

Next time, I should be able to finish Guardiana.

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Fri May 29 2009 9:56am
by Flygon
So much more obvious on why they were invaded here. :thumbsup:

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Sun May 31 2009 2:50am
by Mew seeker
>>>>>>>>>>>So much more obvious on why they were invaded here.

Well, this is one of the part I would like to double check by someone else. X D

Anyway, here is the rest of Guardiana here.
Actually, several parts here give me trouble.
It's the main reason I wait so long before posting a translation. :\

Wounded guard near the church:
We'll hold out, never fear!

私もマックス殿に まけぬよう
りっぱに この国をまもります!

I too won't lose to Max-dono. (?)
I will splendily defend this country!


Priest :
May the Powers of Light be
with you and with all of the
Shining Force!

私には わかっていました
おおいなるさだめに みちびかれ
あなたは 旅だつ…
そしてその旅は あなたのきおくを
さがす旅でも あるです
…つらい旅になるでしょう
しかし くじけてはいけません!
あなたの行く道には いくつもの
光があつまるのです!

I have realized (?) about me. (?)
Guided by a great fate,
you are starting a travel...
And in that travel you are also looking
for your lost memories.
... it will be a painful travel.
But don't be discouraged (?) !
In your ongoing road the light
of many will gather!

Maybe the first line is instead "I have understood/realized"?
Not too sure if the 7th line is 100% exact either."


Woman at the church:
Go, Max. Our hopes go
with you!

王様やバリオス様が しぬなんて
この国は どうなるんだろう?
もう 神様だけだよりだよ

The king-sama and Varios-sama are dead.
What shall this country become?
Again (?) it only rely on (?) God-sama.

Or maybe something like "only God know"?

Old man at the church:
Hello, Max. I know a
legend that may help you.
Will you hear it?

よくぞたずねて くださった
わしのはなしを きいてくれるかい?

You did well for coming to receive(?).
Will you listen to what I have to say?

Not sure about the first line.
he seems happy we came to him.


If you say no :
Those who despise wisdom are
foolish indeed.

そうかい また いつでもおいで

Is that so? You can come at any time.

If you say yes :
Somewhere on Rune is a land
of the Ancients. The key to
the gate might be there.

こういう でんせつがあるんじゃ‥
このルーンたいりくの どこかに
いまでも 古代の神々の国がある
神々のいさん…とやらのことも
そこに行けば わかるかもしれん
おぼえておくがええ

There is such a legend...
Somewhere in this Rune continent,
even now, in the ancient gods country is
the legacy of the gods... among others things too(?).
Should you go there, you might understand
how to remember (?), yes (?).


Man in the house that had a cart in front of it :
We'll protect Guardiana. You
worry about foiling
Runefaust's evil plans.

この国は オレたちでまもっていくよ
あんたたちは あんしんして
旅をつづけてくれ!

This country, we are going to protect it.
You guys, in peace (of mind)
keep on your travel.


Old man near the inn:
It's a mystery to me why
Runefaust attacked us.

ルーンファウストは なんのために
このガーディアナを
せめてきたんですかな

For what purpose did Runefaust
came attacking
here, Guardiana?


Man in the inn:
Hmmm. Runefaust? But that's
clear across the sea!

私は旅の者ですが
いったい なにがあったのですか?
ルーンファスト軍におそわれた?
でもまてよ‥たしかあの国は
うみのむこうに ある国ですよ

I am a traveller but
what on earth what was it(?) ?
You were attacked by the Runefaust army?
But wait... if I'm not mistaken that country
is a country beyond the sea
.

Inn owner:
Alterone? It lies to the
northeast.

アルタローン国?
あの国なら ほくとうの方にあるよ

The country of Altaron?
If it's that country, it is in the northeast direction.


Wounded man near the town's entrance :
Alterone is an ally of ours.
I wonder if it was also
attacked by Runefaust.

アルタローンは どうめい国だ
…いまごろ ルーンファウストに
やられて しまっているのだろうか?あ

Altaron is an allied country.
...at this time, it must have been completely
damaged (?) by Runefaust?

Not 100% sure about the last sentence, but it does sound bad for Altaron.
Also, I need to double check if that last あ was there in the game script
or if I type it by mistake. ^^;


Bar owner:
Beware of ambushes! The road
is long and dangerous!

ルーンファウストのヤツらは
まだ このちかくを
ウロウロしているらしいよ
町のそとに行くなら きちんと
したくをしたほうが いいぜ

Those Runefaust guys
are apparently still loitering
in this vicinity..
Should you go outside of town.
it would be a good idea to be perfectly prepared.


Dog near the dog house :
Woof! Arf! Woof!

わんっ! わんっ!

Wann! Wann!

Woman in the basement of the house near the dog house :
Tell Grandpa Gort to fight
hard!

ゴートおじいちゃんに つたえて!
あたしも がんばるから
おじいちゃんも がんばってって!

Tell to grandpa-chan Gort!
Because I am doing my best too,
grandpa-chan too do his best!

Awww. ^^

Guards near the town entrance :
Good luck, Max!

がんばってください マックス様!

Please keep going Max-dono!

Battle # 3 - To Alterone :
Nova:
Max! Enemies await
you on the road to Alterone.
Take all precautions!

マックス殿 アルタローンへの道に
敵がまちうけていますぞ!
しょうめんから ぶつかるのは
きけんです!

Max-dono, on the road to Altaron,
enemies are awaiting!
To strike from the front
would be trouble!

That's a bit more useful to hear. : )

*When you win the battle*

Nova:
Excellent! Kane will have to
do better than that to stop
you. On to Alterone!

マックス殿 敵はすべて
うちたおしましたぞ
アルターロンへ むかいましょう!

Max-dono, the enemy were completely
defeated.
Let's advance to Altaron!


*******************************************************
That's it for tonight. ^^
We're leaving Guardiana for good. :p

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Sun May 31 2009 2:55am
by Flygon
Eh, for some of these I will admit the American edition has some better scripting, mainly:
Nova:
Excellent! Kane will have to
do better than that to stop
you. On to Alterone!

マックス殿 敵はすべて
うちたおしましたぞ
アルターロンへ むかいましょう!

Max-dono, the enemy were completely
defeated.
Let's advance to Altaron!

Thanks for the brilliant translations. ;)

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Mon Jun 01 2009 12:43am
by Martin III
I'm actually surprised that so much of the town-wandering dialogue was kept intact in the English version. I had always assumed that translation teams just made up their own town-wandering dialogue, since translating the original is a lot of extra trouble for dialogue that isn't important to the plot and which may not properly translate to Western language and culture anyway.

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Wed Jun 03 2009 12:53am
by Mew seeker
>>>>>>>>>I'm actually surprised that so much of the town-wandering dialogue was kept intact in the English version.

It's funny, I didn't see it this way.
When I look at a Japanese text from a game,
I am thinking things like :
"This was changed, this too, this too.
This was changed a little.
This wasn't changed much but nuance was lost.
Hey, that wasn't changed at all!" : P

Anyway, doesn't making new text mean starting over from scratch,
which means extra work anyway?

Today, here is some part of the town of Manarina.
It's incomplete but I didn't want to make people wait to long
and it would have took some place as well.

Alterone

Man at the entrance:
Welcome to Alterone,
stranger!

アルタローンにようこそ!

Welcome to Altaron!

Old woman in the house near the entrance :
I hear there's an underground
passage in the castle. Sssh!
Let's keep it a secret.

お城には 王様がつくらせた
ひみつのちかどうが あるらしいよ

In the castle, it seems a secret passage
was built by the king-sama.


Bookcase in her house :
It's a Flat, Flat World,
The King and Us,
and many more books.

「このよはたのし」
「王様と私たち」
いろいろなほんが ならんでいる

"This world ???" (???)
"The king-sama and us"
There are various books.

For the first book, without any kanji to help,
your translation is as good as mine.
"tanoshi" could be based on "tanoshii", "fun".
Or it could be "tano-" "others" followed by "shi" which could mean
a (male) man, a child, a lineage, a market/city, death and a few others meanings.
I don't know if the translators for the U.S. version got as much trouble as me
but if they did, their translation is understable.


Villager in the south west corner of town :
That woman over there gives
me the creeps. They say she's
a witch!

あの うらないしのオネーサンて
すげえ びじんだぜ…
あー もろに おれこのみ…

That (young woman) fortuneteller over there
is incredibly beautiful...
Ah, she is definitively my type (to my liking)...

Hmm....

Woman in blue with purple hair :
Greetings, Max. With my
powers I can see the future.
Care to know your fate?

私は うらないしのミシャエラ
あなたは じぶんのみらいを
見たいとは おもいませんか?

I am the fortuneteller Mishaela.
You, don't you feel like you would like
to see in your own future?

Hey, we get to hear her name. : P

If you say no :
If you are too scared to hear
my words, how can you hope to
survive the trials you face?

まあ 人は見かけに よらないものね
さようなら よわむしさん

Well, a person appearance is not something you can depend on, huh.
Good bye, mister coward.

How manipulative. : P

If you say yes :
Death lies to the north. Go
back to Guardiana, for your
doom awaits if you continue.

ここから きたにむかう道…
リンドリンドやマナリナへ道に
大きな力があつまっているわ…
それはルーンファウストの騎士たち
あなたたちの力では とっぱできない
あなたのみらいに 光は見えないわ
いますぐ 旅をおやめなさい

From here, the road going to the north...
A great power is gathering
on the road to Lindolindo and Manarina...
Those are the Runefaust knights.
With your group strenght you can't break through.
In your future the ligh cannot be seen.
Stop your travel at once.

Much more detailed.
Would you have stopped playing if you heard that? : )


Villager near headquarters :
Danger? From Runefaust? Ha!

ルーンファウストのしんりゃく?
よせやい そんなこといったって
だれも しんじないよ

Runefaust's invasion?
Hmmp I do not trust anyone
related to (???) such thing said.

I have problems to properly translate "yoseyai".
I think he doesn't take us seriously.


Woman to the east of headquarters :
The Ancients, Darkness,
Runefaust? Sorry, those things
don't concern us.

神々のいさん? ふういんのカギ?
それがどうしたっていうの?
まいにちが たのしければいいのよ

The legacy of the gods? The seal key?
What on earth are those things?
It would be nice if I could have fun everyday.


Woman standing next to water :
Watch out! I don't want you
to splash mud on my beautiful
new dress!

見てよ 見てよ!
私のドレス きれいでしょ

Look, look! (look out?)
My dress is pretty/clean, right.


When you push the cart toward her, she say :
What a rude thing to do!

きゃー! だれよー!

Kyaah! Who!

Then, when you talk again to her, she say :
Mud all over my new dress!
Arrggh, I can't stand it!

あー 私の あたらしいドレスが
ドロだらけ! きー! ゆるさない!

Ah, my new dress is
full of mud! Kii! I won't forgive you!


*She move next to you*
I'll get you!

こうしてやる!

I'll do this/get you this way!

*She push you in the water.*

Man in the priest house :
The king called the friar to
the castle. I always wanted
to stand up here.

神父様なら 王様によばれて
お城に行っていますよ
ふふふ…私 いちど
ここにたって みたかったんですよ

If it's the father-sama, he is going to the castle
called by the king-sama.
Fufufu... once
I have wanted to try standing here.


Bookcase in that house :
The books are written in a
language unknow to
Max.

…ろくなひんが おいてない!

... there are no good things on!

Old Woman in the nort east corner of town :
You haven't seen my daughter
Khris around, have you? She
wants to be an adventurer!

このところ お城がさわがしいのお
見かけん者が
おおぜい 出はいりしとるよ

Isn't the castle in this place noisy?
There are many people I didn't get
to catch a glimpse that are going in and out.

No mention of Khris here.
Maybe the translators wanted us to know about her this soon?


Old man in the nort east house :
Money makes the world go
'round, youngster. And don't
you ever forget it!

王様は じぶんのことしかかんがえん
わしらが金のことばかり
かんがえて どこが悪いのだ

The king-sama isn't thinking only about himself.
That we think about nothing
but monetary things is somewhere/somewhat (?) bad.


Bookcase in his house :
Gold Coins of the World,
101 Places to Hide Money,
and mamy more books.

「お金もちになるには」
「ざいさんづくりのコツ」
いろいろなほんが ならんでいる

"About/how to (?) becoming a rich man" (litterally, "gold possessing")
"Property/fortune/assets building skill"
There are many books.


Sign on the wall of the item shop :
Ye Olde Item Shoppe

「道具のみせ」

"Tool shop"

Items seller:
Welcome, welcome! Come on in
and browse. Nothing but the
best here!

旅に出るなら道具がいるぜ!
うちは道具屋だ べんりな道具が
たくさんあるぜ

If you are leaving on a trip, here are tools!
The house/inside is a tool shop. There are plenty of
useful tools.


Fisherman:
I love to fish. Hey, a bite,
I feel a bite! Don't just
stand there, help me pull!

つりはいいぞ 金がありすぎて
おもたくなった 私の心を
かるくしてくれる
ん? かかった かかったぞ!
すまんが わしのせなかにまって
ひっぱってくれんか?

Fishing is good. When money have took
too much room (in my mind/heart), I am coming to
lighten my mind/heart.
Hm? It's caught, it's caught!
Sorry but, while waiting in my back,
won't you come to pull?


If you talk to him again but not from his back :

サカナがつれるまで
わしは ぜったいにあきらめんぞ

Until I catch a fish,
I will absolutely not give up.

I need to double check but I think
there are no specific U.S. equivalent to this text here.


When you help him to pull :
Wow! It must be a whale. Pull
again!

おお かかっとる!
もういちど ひいてくれ!

Oh, it's caught!
Come pulling one more time!


One more time!

もういちどじゃ!

One more time!

I caught it!

おお つりあげたぞ!

Oh, I pulled it in!

Drat! More gold coins?
Shucks, I thought I had a
fish. Just toss 'em back.

ん? こりゃあ 金ののべぼうだ
じゃまになって わしがすてたヤツだ

Hm? That's gold bards.
Being in the way I thew them away (before). (?)

Those are gold bars, not coins.
Someone threw them away.
And if I understand right, he's the one who threw them away. X D


*You see water splashing*

Here, fishee, fishee, fishee!

ここじゃサカナはつれないか…
はあ つまらない…

I am not getting any fish here...
Ha, boring...

Well, considering gold bars are thrown in the lake... : P

If you talk to him again :
I'm not going to give up!

サカナがつれるまで
わしは ぜったいにあきらめんぞ

Until I catch a fish,
I will absolutely not give up.

The same Japanese text from sooner,
but now with a U.S. text equivalent.

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Wed Jun 03 2009 6:34am
by Flygon
Meanwhile, your walls of texts have actually broken the background image for this page of the topic.

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Wed Jun 03 2009 11:10pm
by Martin III
Mew seeker @ Wed Jun 03, 2009 12:53 am) wrote: Anyway, doesn't making new text mean starting over from scratch,
which means extra work anyway?

A third as much work, if that. I've written stories and I've translated 'em, and it doesn't take anywhere near as much time to come up with your own stuff as it does to figure out what some other guy was trying to say. And mind you, my second language is Spanish. A language with an actual alphabet, pronouns, grammar which always has an obvious translation to English, and lots of nice cognates. I don't even want to know what kind of time it takes to properly translate something from Japanese.

Very cool how they didn't try to make it clear that Mishaela is a villain right from the start. Me being me, I didn't jump to that conclusion until she showed up at the circus tent anyway, but the translators' intent was plainly to put a big red "villain" sign over Mishaela.

Interesting about Khris, too. Is there any indication in the original script that that woman is Khris's mother?

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Fri Jun 05 2009 2:55pm
by Mew seeker
>>>>Meanwhile, your walls of texts have actually
>>>>broken the background image for this page of the topic.

Hum, what? Is it bad? ^^;;;

>>>>Is there any indication in the original script that that woman is Khris's mother?

As far as I remember, no. Maybe they wanted to put a big red "important character" button on Khris? : P

Anyway, here is the rest of the town.


Sign in the middle of town :
"Private property!
Trespassers will be glared
at!"

「このとちは ワシのもんじゃ!
かってにはいるな!」

"This land/soil is mine!
You can't enter it of your own accord!"


Old man near that sign :
Hey! Can't you read the sign?
Don't make me glare at you!

かってにロウロウするな!
ここは わしのとちだぞ もうすぐ
ここに でっかいやしきをたてるんだ

You can't loiter of your own accord!
Here is my land. Very soon,
I will build a huge mansion here.

That's the reason he don't want anybody here.

Man to the rigth of the castle entrance :
Don't judge our king too
harshly. He's pretty good, as
kings go.

王様は宝がだいすき!
でも とってもやさしくて
いい 王様だよ

The king-sama love treasures a lot!
But he is a very kind
good king-sama.

They're nicer in the original.

Man in front of the castle entrance :
Don't stand in front of the
drawbridge. You're liable to
get run over by the traffic.

お城にチッポという子がいるんだ
おれ その子がすきでさ…
まいにちここで まってるんだ
でも さいきんは 城のそとに
ぜんぜん出てこないんだ
なにか あったのかな?

In the castle, there is a child called Chip.
I like that child but... (?)
Everyday I am waitting here
but lately outside of the castle
(Chip?) didn't leave/appeared at all.
Did something happened?

Here is the first real mention of Chip.

Woman in the north west corner of town :
There have been a lot of
strangers visiting the castle
lately. A regular parade.

さいきんは なにかへんね
よその国の人が よく お城にでいり
しているみたいなの

Lately, something is weird.
It seems a person/people from another country
are frequently coming in and out of the castle.

Foreshadowing. : )

*If you enter the castle before talking to the guy from Guardiana, three guards blocks the way.*

Left guard :
What? Guardiana was
attacked? By Runefaust?
Rubbish! Get out of here!

なに? ガーディアナがおそわれた?
そんなはなしは きいていないぞ
ムム‥ あやしいヤツめ!
かえれ! かえれ!

What? Guardiana was attacked?
I haven't heard that kind of thing (talk).
Mmhh.. You suspicious guy!
Get out! Get out! (Go back?)


Middle guard :
You heard him--beat it!

王様にあわせろだと?
すじょうのしれぬヤツを
城にいれるわけにはいかぬ!
たちさるがよい!

About meeting the king-sama?
People of unknown lineage
are not allowed in the castle, meaning you won't enter!
Leaving would be best! (You should leave?)


Rigth guard :
Our king is entertaining an
important guest. Who do you
think you are to barge in?

王様は だいじなおきゃくさまと
お会いになっているところだ
おまえなどに 会うひまはないぞ!

The king-sama is currently being meeting
an important guest-sama.
There is no time to meet those of your kind!

Way to make us feel good, guys!

Left sign on the shop wall :
Chop and Bop Shop

「武器のみせ」

"Weapon shop"

Rigth sign on the shop wall :
Goode Eats

「アルタローン酒場」

"Altaron bar"
Hmmm

Blue woman at the shop :
I can't find a thing I want
to buy.

もっと おねだんのたかいものは
うってないのかしら?
きんか100000まいの
きのつえ とかね

I wonder if they couln't sell more
expensive high priced things?
Like a 100 000 gold coins
wood staff/cane.

If I recall correctly, to show that something is really expensive in Japan,
they use the number 100 000 while we will use instead a million.
That being said, would you pay 100 000 for a wood staff? : P


Green woman at the shop :
I hate this place! All they
have is cheap stuff. I can't
stand it.

あたし このおみせキライ! だって
やすものしか うってないんだもん

I dislike this shop. The reason is
they aren't selling anything but cheap stuff.


Weapons seller:
You need weapons, and I've
got the best in town. Step
right up!

武器は戦う者のほこり…
うちは武器屋だ いいしなばかり
そろえてるぜ!

Weapons are a fighter's pride...
Inside/this house? weapon shop, there are nothing but good articles
being present(?) here.

More or less this.

Old woman in the shop :
This place is pretty busy
today.

見ておくれ この金のいればを
ピカリ! どうじゃ まぶしいじゃろ

Come look how glittering this gold
tooth is! How radiant it is.


Merchant in the shop :
This is a great business.
Everyone in town comes here
at least once a day.

この国は しょうばいしやすいぜ
たかい酒ほど うれるんだから

In this country, bussiness is easy to do.
Because of this, expensive wines are being sold.


Guy standing in front of the statue in the shop :
You must be Max,
right?

あんた マックスさんだろ?

You must be Max-san?

If you say no :
Strange...I was so sure....

あれー? おかしいなあ
人ちがいなのか…

Ah? It's strange.
I would have mistook you for someone else...


If you say yes :
I knew it! I lived in
Guardiana until a few months
ago. I just heard a rumor.
A friend of mine told me that
Guardiana was totally wiped
out. Is that true?

やっぱり! おれ すこしまえまで
ガーディアナ城で したばたらきを
してたんだぜ! ところで…
さっき なかまにきいたんだが
ガーディアナが ルーンファウストに
やられたというのは ほんとうか?

I knew it! Until a little while before,
I was being a servant at
Guardiana's castle. By the way...
Some time ago, what I have heard from a companion,
that Guardiana was said to be attacked (?)
by Runefaust, is it true?


If you say no :
Good...but my friend has
already left to inform the
castle!

なんだ うそだったのか…
あいつ あわてて そのことを
お城に しらせに 行っちまったぜ

That was false...
That guy hurriedly went to notify
that thing at the castle.


If you say yes :
I hoped it wasn't true. The
friend who told me about it
went to inform the castle.

…そうか ほんとうだったのか
…え? しらせてくれたヤツなら
そのことを お城にしらせに行ったぜ

... really, it was true?
...eh? If it's about that guy who went to notify,
he went to notify that thing at the castle.


Old man to the rigth of the shop :
No one worries about anything
nowadays. It seems pretty odd
to me.

この国も むかしはまずしかった
だが うらのやまで めずらしい
こうせきが見つかっての
それからは 金がはいりほうだいよ
みんな ゆたかになったのはいいが
どうも すなおによろこべん

This country back then was poor.
But inside the mountain, rare
minerals/ore were being (?) discovered.
Because of this, money came as much as you would like to.
It's good that everyone became rich but
they are pleased (?) very simply. (?)

About the third line, it's written in a present tense
but I'm not sure if it talks about present or past time.
Beside the time question, it's more or less the same.
Because of mining, this place is wealthy.
I'm not sure about the last line meaning.
I'm not sure what to make of the verb ending. ^^;;;


***************************************************

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Fri Jun 05 2009 4:54pm
by BigNailCow
I'm getting more and more interested about seeing retranslated text in the game, perhaps even with a rebalancing of the game as well. Fully revamped Shining Force 1, anyone?

Of course, no offense to Mew seeker, but his translated lines will need to be cleaned up to sound more like natural English.

And some of the US version lines are actually better to me, like the guy at the beginning of your last post who says "Hey, don't make me glare at you!"

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Sat Jun 06 2009 12:40am
by Flygon
BigNailCow @ Fri Jun 05, 2009 4:54 pm) wrote: I'm getting more and more interested about seeing retranslated text in the game, perhaps even with a rebalancing of the game as well. Fully revamped Shining Force 1, anyone?

Aka, what Shining Example WAS, until I got some extra ideas. ;)

No, it isn't bad you broke the background image Mew Seeker, it just means the forum software never anticipated such walls of text. :)

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Sat Jun 06 2009 1:31am
by Mew seeker
>>>>>A language with an actual alphabet

To be fair, Japanese have actual alphabets : katakana and hiragana.
They also use kanjis, the chinese characters, which are much more numerous.
However, while there are a lot to learn, when you know them,
they make the understanding much more easier.
Good luck finding the exact meaning for "shin"
if it's not in kanji and that the context don't help you either.

>>>>> I don't even want to know what kind of time
>>>>> it takes to properly translate something from Japanese.

Well it would be a lot shorter if I was fluent with Japanese. : P
The main problem is not that structure-wise, Japanese would be harder.
Instead, it come from the difference in the sentences structures.
Among the few important details, what's at the left (or beginning)
describe what's at the right (the end)
and the important stuff (the verb) is at the end of the sentence.
And the part that say if it's past, negative or whatever is also at the end of that verb.
So, when someone translate oral Japanese in English,
they may have to buy some time doing a live translation. : P
Anyway, beside the structure, Japanese rely on context a bit.

>>>>>>Of course, no offense to Mew seeker, but his translated lines
>>>>>> will need to be cleaned up to sound more like natural English.

Why you...!
Just kidding. ^^
My translation among a few thing miss the subtleties conveyed
by thing like politness level and Japanase particles like yo, ne, zo, ze, na and so on.
It would be really nice to find a second translator. X D

>>>>>And some of the US version lines are actually better to me,

You spoony bard! : P

Anyway here is a bit more.

Castle of Alterone

3 guards at the entrance :
The king has given orders
that you may enter. Highly
unusual, but go on in.

フーム‥王様のおゆるしが出ている
やむをえぬ! はいるがよい!

Phm.. The king-sama's permission is coming out.
You don't get to stop! (?) It would be good that you enter!

I'm not too sure about the second sentence.
Even if we get to enter, the guards don't like us much more.


Woman in orange dress near the castle entrance :
Khris, where are you? Have
you seen her?

チップ! どこに行ったの!
あたしが大ケガをしたというのに
あの子は どこへ?
…あなた ごぞんじ

Chip! Where Chip went!
Since (?) I had (?) a big injury
where is that child?
... do you know (Chip)?

The second sentence should be more or less this.
"Khris" seem to be a replacement for "Chip".
Oh and we now know why she was looking for Chip.
More foreshadowing! : P


If you say no :
Well, don't just stand there,
help me look for her.

ふん どいつもこいつも
まったく やくたたずばかり!

Phmm that (those?) guy here too
is completely useless!


If you say yes :
Well, then where is she?

ならば よんでおくれ!
あしをくじいてしまったの
ああ いたい!

In that case, go call (Chip) !
I was sprained.
Ah, it hurts!


Woman in green dress near the castle entrance :
Do you know the King's secret?

王様のひみつって しってる?

Do you know the king-sama's secret?

If you say no :
Oh! you don't. He! He!
It may be nothing to you.
Please forget it.

あらそう…
ふふ なんでもないの わすれてね

Oh really...
Fufu, it's nothing, forget it.


If you say yes :
He seems to like treasure.
It is rumored he has hidden
treasure here and there.

宝ものが だいすきらしいのよ
いろんなところに
宝をかくしてるって ひょうばんよ!

It seem he likes treasures a lot.
He is famous about
hiding treasures in many places.


Woman in green before the king's room :
Be very careful when you meet
the king. That's all I dare
say.

・・・・・
…王様にお会いになるときは
じゅうぶんに 気をつけてください
ごめんなさい いまはこれしか
いえないんです…

.....
...when it'll be the time to meet the king-sama,
please be sufficiently careful.
Forgive me, I won't say anything more
than this right now.

That person is more scared to talk or at least reserved in the Japanese version.

Guard looking at water :
Watching water relaxes me.
...What? Guard the castle?
Huh? It's not my business!

おれ 水を見てるとおちつくんだ
…え? 城のけいび?
ふん そんなの しったことかよ!

Whem I come looking at the water, I calm down.
... eh? Guarding the castle?
Phmm, is that some kind of reprimand!


Guard to the rigth of the table :
Sleep, eat and play games.
This is the life for me.

ここの城は てんごくさ!
ひるまから 酒をのんで
あそんでいても いいんだからな

This castle here is a paradise!
Because from daytime drinking wine
doing nothing is good.

Hmm...

Other guard next to the table :
C'mon, sit down and take it
easy. We do it all day.

ういー ヨッパラっちまったよ!
ニイちゃんも いっぱいやりなよ!

Unhappy (???) got drunk!
Like old brother-chan get full!

I'm not sure about the beginning.
And since he talks like a drunk person,
it makes the text harder to understand for me. X D


Guard next to the bar counter :
Maybe I should toss out this
armor. It's too itchy.

ふー りっぱなヨロイはいいけど
おもたくて かなわないよ

Fuh. A splendid armor is good but
it's weight is unbearable.

It's not a good sign when a guard is not able to wear it's own armor.

Bar owner:
Relax. Take a seat and
shovel down some food.

ここの国のへいたいさんは
大酒のみばかりさ
もうかりすぎて こまっちゃうよ!

The soldier-san of this country here
are nothing but heavy drinkers.
I'm worried about making too much profits!

Yes, the last sentence sounds like that to me.
Maybe he is worried about them? : P


Note in the bar :
No spitting, No fighting.
No throwing food!

「酒ののみすぎにちゅうい!
水のなかにおちる者 ぞくしゅつ!」

"Be careful about overdrinking wine!
People falling into the water come in one after the other!"

X D
You do remember that there is water in the castle, rigth? X D


Guard blocking a door :
No one enters. We have
important guests.

このなかには だれもはいれません
だいじな おきゃく様が
いらしているのです

No one can enter inside here.
Important guests-sama
are being (?) there.

I have not found the exact word in a dictionary
but I think that's what said here.
The politness level is higher than normal toward the end.


Guard in the basement :
Who are you?

な なんだ きさまは!

Wh, what you!

*Some Rune knights that were around run away *

There's nothing here to see.
Go away!

なんだと? 敵が?
おまえ ゆめでも見てるのか?
…ほら 見てみろよ

What? (?) Enemy?
Were you looking while dreaming?
...Look, let's try to see.


*The guard look up.*

Enemies? What enemies??

やっぱり だれもいない!

As I thought, there is no one at all!
The "enemies" part was sooner in the original.

*He then turn back toward us.*

Get back upstairs!

もう ようじはないだろ
さあ かえってくれよ!

If you don't have more things to do,
well leave this place!


Left knight in the king's room :
What! Runefaust attacked
Guardiana? Talk to our king.
I'm sure he can help!

なんと! ルーンファウストが
ガーディアナを ほろぼした!?
我が 国王に おはなしくだされ!
きっと 力になってくれよう!

What! Runefaust
have destroyed Guardiana!?
Please give this information (talk) to our king!
Undoubtly he shall lend his strenght!


Right knight in the king's room :
Our king is a believer in
helping those in need.

我が国王は りっぱな お方だ
こまっていることがあれば
なんでも そうだんしてみるがいい

Our king is a great person.
Would there be something that worry you,
by all means it would be a good idea to try to talk with him.


Minister:
I've heard all about you.
Talk to our king.

ガーディアナに いたという者から
そなたのはなしは しかときいたぞ
王様におはなしするがよい

I have heard your talk (or about you?) perfectly
from the person that was said to be in Guardiana. (?)
It would be good that you talk to the king-sama.

That part gave me trouble, then the pieces fell together into this.
The guy mentioned here must be the friend of the guy in the shop
from Guardiana.


King Alterone:
What? Runefaust attacked
Guardiana? Hard to believe.
Follow me, Max.
I have a...tactician we
should consult with on this
matter.

なに? ふういんのカギをもとめ
ルーンファウスト軍が
ガーディアナをおそった!?
そのご ルーンファウスト軍は
我が国にむかったというのだな
ウーム‥それは だいじけんだ!
ぐんしをまじえて けんとうせねば
私のあとを ついてまいるのじゃ

What? You're seeking the seal key.
The Runefaust army
have attacked Guardiana!?
Afterward, the Runefaust army
is said to be going toward my country.
Humm.. That is an important matter!
Come to follow after me so that
I discuss objectives/planification with (my) strategist/tactician.


And now, the much more interesting part of the castle
... in my next post!
:mwahaha:

*************************************************************

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Sat Jun 06 2009 1:59am
by Flygon
Kind of disappointing they removed the 'Get drunk, fall in water' gag. I'm surprised they removed some of these. :(

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Sat Jun 06 2009 3:45am
by Earl
It's good that everyone became rich but
they are pleased (?) very simply. (?)

The implication I get here is that they ought to want more than riches or that they put too much stock in being rich. Either that, or they're spending their wealth stupidly (the rampant drinking and complaining about 100 000 gold wooden sticks give this some weight).

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Sun Jun 07 2009 2:04am
by Mew seeker
A small note before I continue about something I forgot to mention.
Usually, when the word king was used, it was used with -sama 王様
which denote respect.
(Apparently, the word can also be used for other things that royalty
like the king of cooking.)
Then another word for king was used in the last post for king, "koku ou" 国王
which mean "the king of a country/nation".
I'm not sure how important the difference is but I wanted to point it.

Anyway, let's continue. We're at the point where the king leave
after we have talked to him.


*The king leave*

Guard who used to block a door :
The king is waiting for you.

王様は したのへやで おまちです
さあ はやく!

The king-sama is waiting in the room below.
Well quickly!


Rune knights in the basement :
I have nothing to say to you,
Max of Guardiana.

・・・・・

.....
...

King Alterone:
I'm sorry about this, but I
must protect Alterone.

悪くおもわんでくれ…
これも アルタローン国のためだ

I feel bad...
This is for the well being of the country of Altaron.


Kane:
Surprised, Max?
Alterone has already
surrendered!
Put him in a prison cell!
I'll decide how to best
dispose of him in a day
or two.

また会ったな こぞう!
ワハハハハ…
王のいうぐんしとは 私のことだよ
ルーンファウストのカインだ
バカめ やっと気づいたようだな!
この国の王は あたまがいい
さからっても かちめがないと
すでに 我らに こうふくしたのだ
そこに のこのこ やってくるとはな
…ろうで まっているんだな
さきに のこりをしまつしてやる!

We met again kid!
Wahahahaha...
The king said strategist/tactician is me (or my thing?),
Runefaust's Kain.
I have at last became aware (worried?) of you idiot(s?)!
This country's king have a good head/is smart.
Not having a chance of going against/defying us,
he already surrendered to us.
I/we can go there unconcernedly.
... you'll be waiting in prison.
I'll take care of the remnants later!

Kain doesn't call us Max. He might even not know our name.
But we did enough so that he start to take us in account.
Remnant here mean the small remaining numbers of a force/group/army.
Basycally, we are the small little remainer of what was not took care of in Guardiana.
Here, the word for king is the plainest one.
No extra politness if there is any.
Lot of the text was cut, including Kain's laugh!


*The Rune Knigths surrounds Max.*

King Alterone:
Kane, you promised that
Alterone would not be
involved in any of this!

カイン殿 やくそくとちがいますぞ
それだは国が 戦いにまきこまれる!

Kain-dono, this is different of our arrangement/promise.
That was, the country would not be involved in battle!

That was most likely the reason the king did this.

Kane:
Quiet, fool! Or I'll
throw you in the cell with him!
Take him away.

うるさい! しったことか!
さあ この者をつれていけ!
あとで こいつにききたいことがある
…神々のいさんについて
なにか しっているかもしれん!

Silence! Is it a scolding!
Well, take this person away!
Later, there is a thing I would like to hear from this guy.
...about the legacy of the gods,
he might be knowing something!

Scolding reprimand, something like this.
It also have the implication of raising your voice.
Kain felt a bit of opposition from the king and he didn't like it.
He doesn't threaten the king as much.
Yet again, the threat is more implicit.
Kain's intent to interrogate us was cut as well.


*The Rune Knights bring you in the prison cell.*

Priest :
I came to tell the king to
fight, but Kane had already
convinced him to surrender.
Even thought I am in prison, I
can still perfom my duties.
How can I help you?

私は ルーンファウスト軍など
しんようできない…ということを
王様に もうし上げていたところ
あの にっくきカインめに見つかり
ここに いれられてしまったのです
ろうにいるとはいえ 私も神父です
できることなら 力になりますぞ

I do not trust the Runefaust army
and so on... When I told
the king-sama said thing,
that hate-ful Kain guy found out.
I was being put in here.
Even if the house I am in is a jail, I am still a father.
If it's possible, I will lend my strenght.


When you search the cell's door :
(The bars are solid. There's
no way to break them.)
...Footsteps approach!

「しっかりしたつくりだ
とても こわせそうにない…」
…だれかの あしおとが
きこえてきた!

"It's a strong construction.
It's very not likely that you would be able to break it..."
... you have heard
someone's footsteps!



*A woman in green appear.*
The time has come to strike
back at Runefaust! I'm letting
you out.

私 王様とあの人たちの
はなしを きいてしまって…
でも こわくて だまっていたの
ごめんなさい あなたのような人が
こんなことを されるなんて…
いま あけてあげますから

I was with the king-sama when I have heard
those people words...
But I stayed silent out of fear.
Forgive me for having let people of your kind
going through this thing...
Because (?) now I will open (the door).

It might be also "from here". I'm not exactly sure. ^^;
Here, the text is not as confident.
That person feel bad for not having acted before.


*She open the door.*

When you talk to her again :
Please help me save Alterone!
I'll fight alongside you. I
can heal too!

おねがいです この国をたすけて
ルーンファウストのへいたちが
町であばれはじめたんです
私も いっしょに戦います
どうか 力をかしてください!

Please. Help this country,
the Runefaust soldiers
have started rampaging in the town.
I too will fight together (with you).
Please somehow lend me your strenght!

Things go sour in town.
No mention of healing.


(Khris joins the
Shining Force!)

「チップが なかまになった!」

"Chip became a companion!"
As you might have expected, this person is Chip.
And while I think about it, in the not much loved Shining Force Neo,
there is a dog priestess as well with the name Chiqitita...
Or something like that


We can't go this way, they'll
spot us for sure.

こちらから そとに出ては
見つかってしまいます

If we go outside from here,
we'll be discovered.


*Both of you go back in the cells and the door is closed back.*

There's a secret passage. Use
it to escape.

たしか ここに町へのぬけ道が…
ありました!

If I am right, there was a secret passage to town...
here!

Actually, it end with "...there was!" but it just don't work that well in English.

*Stairs appear.*

Khris:
I'll be at headquarters.
Please be patient a little longer. I'll get you
out of here soon.

私は 町の ほんじんで
たいきしています
神父様!
しばらく ごしんぼうください
あとで かならずたすけにまいります

I'll be on standby
in the town headquarter.
Father-sama!
Please be patient for a little while.
I will come later to help you without fail.


*She leaves.*

*When you leave headquarters, Runefaust force are there outside.*

Kane:
Lowly worms, I shall crush
you beneath my heel. Attack,
soldiers of Runefaust!

ガーディアナのざんとうめ
我が軍に いどむとはいいどきょうだ
この カインが
かえりうちに してくれる!

Those Guardiana remnant guys,
to challenge my army/force take a lot of courage/guts.
This Kain
will take care of this counter attack! (!)

On one hand, Kain don't have much respect for us
but on the other hand he have to give us credit.
About "counter attack", the japanese word is "kaeriuchi",
"coming back to attack".
If I have understood properly the Japanese dictionary I use,
it mean that situation where "when intending to attack an enemy,
you are instead being attacked by the enemy."
Maybe Kain didn't see that coming but in any case, he intend to finish things.


A Rune Knigth appear and say to Kane :
Lord Kane, Lord Darksol
commands you to return to
Runefaust immediately.

カイン様…
ダークソル様よりの でんれいです
「神々のいさんについて
あらたなてがかりが 見つかった
ただちにもどられよ」とのことです!

Kain-sama...
It's a messenger from Dark Sol-sama
It says : "A new clue/trail about
the legacy of the gods was discovered.
Come back at once!"

First mention of Dark Sol and more on his message.

Kane answer :
Tell him I'm on my way.

なに? わかったとつたえろ!

What? Tell him "Understood"!

Rune knight:
Yes, sir.

ハッ! かしこまりました

Hah! Certainly.

*The Rune Knigth leaves.*

Kane:
A shame I can't stay to watch
you meet your doom! My troops
can handle the likes of you.

ざんねんだが きいたとおりだ
しかし 我が軍のせいえいたちが
じっくり おあいてさせてもらう
しぬがよい! フハハハハ…!

It's regrettable but it's as it was heard.
But my force's elites
will carefully (and slowly!) be your opponents.
Die! Fwahahaha...!

Whoever Dark Sol is, Kain take orders from him.
Those are elites? : P
The last line is litterally "(That you) die is good!"
Kain's laugh was once again cut.


*Kane leaves*

*When you win the battle*

Nova:
Max, there's no time
to lose. Kane must be found
and stopped at all costs.
Find out all you can and
be sure to talk to the king
of Alterone!

マックス殿! 敵はすべて
うちたおしましたぞ
さあ カインをおうのです!
まずは 王のもとへまいりましょう

Max-dono! The enemy was completely
defeated.
Well, let's go after Kain!
First, let's go to where the king was.

Nova use the same expression than before
about the opponent being defeated.


**********************************************************

That's it for today.

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Sun Jun 07 2009 2:12am
by Flygon
Is it me, or did Nova actually improve with Sega's version of the translation. :eyebrow:

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Sun Jun 07 2009 2:20am
by Mew seeker
Is it me, or did Nova actually improve with Sega's version of the translation.


lol, maybe, at least for this kind of text?
But I think he's more constant/say things the same way in the Japanese version
when opponent are defeated.
Maybe that text was stored in the game and used several time to save room?
On the other hand, when asking for advice, you want Japanese Nova! lol

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Sun Jun 07 2009 2:32am
by Flygon
I don't think it is reading all from the same position to save room, I'm going by the English edition here but many things are duplicated, the 'when you search a mechanical device text' is a great example.

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Sun Jun 07 2009 10:23am
by Rick
Most very awesome!

I'm really enjoying this, I've played Sf1 loads of times, its great to see how 'generic' the US version is

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Mon Jun 08 2009 11:08pm
by Martin III
Awesome. I think Khris feels just a bit more fully realized as a character in the Japanese version. And it's great to see Darksol actually having a reason for calling Kane out of nowhere!

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Tue Jun 09 2009 12:03am
by Swalchy
I'm definitely loving this!

Just shows how much is 'lost in translation'.

One thinks they may have been constrained by the amount of space taken up by English words, but really, did it have to be this much?


I suddenly feel like what I thought I knew about SF1, I now know very little.

Kinda more like I read a summary, rather than the actual story

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Tue Jun 09 2009 1:14am
by Mew seeker
>>>>>>And it's great to see Darksol actually having a reason
>>>>>> for calling Kane out of nowhere!

U.S. Dark Sol is so evil he calls Kain for no reason. : P

>>>>>>One thinks they may have been constrained by the amount of space
>>>>>>taken up by English words, but really, did it have to be this much?

It could be argued. But there is at least one argument in defense of the U.S. translation.
Japanese having more letter that represent syllabes or are symbols,
with the same amount of letters you can easily put more meaning in the same space.
On top of that, the Japanese version have a bigger font and have less letter per lines,
yet from a memory point of view, I think it takes less space memory wise.
That's something a translator have to overcome when limited memory is an issue.
That being said, many translation choices are at least questionable. >-<

>>>>>I suddenly feel like what I thought I knew about SF1, I now know very little.

After reading KWhazit's Chrono Trigger's translation
and Lina Darkstar's FF VI translation,
I felt like I would have trouble reading the story on my next plays. X D
Add to that at least Super Mario Rpg and Illusion of Gaia. X D

Alterone :

Man at the entrance :
Thank you, Max.
Alterone is now free,
thanks to you.

アルタローンを たすけてくれて
ありがとう

You came to help Alterone.
Thank you.


Villager in the south west corner of town :
Hey, where did that witch go?
She's up to no good, mark my
words!

うらないしのオネーサンが
いなくなっちまったよ
はあ どこに行ったんだろう…

That fortuneteller girl
wasn't there.
Ha, she must have gone somewhere...

I can't help but think of that previous post about the big red villain sign. : )

Villager near headquarters :
Never trust Runefaust, that's
what I always say.

ルーンファウストのしんりゃくは
うそじゃ なかったんだな

The Runefaust invasion
wasn't a lie.

Maybe I am missing nuances about the tone but that's the message.

Woman to the east of headquarters :
Thank you, for getting rid of
that evil Kane person.

まいにちが たのしいだけじゃ
ダメなのね…

Having fun every day
is no good, huh...


Woman standing next to water :
Those brutes! They splashed
mud on my new dress!

びえーん ドレスがドロだらけよ
あわてて にげようとしたら
ころんじゃったのよ!

My beatifuull chaarming dress is covered by mud.
It seems that, while running away in confusion,
I fell down!

The U.S. version blame more Runefaust. : P

When you push the cart toward her, she say :
Now my dress is ripped too!

もう おこらないわよ!
とっくにドロだらけなんだから!

I won't get mad again!
Because I was already covered in mud!


Man in the priest house :
Oh well, it was nice while
it lasted.

神父様に はなしをききました
たいへんでしたね マックス様!

I have heard words from the father-sama.
It was awful, huh Max-sama!


Priest:
I was freed when you won the
battle. Thank you! Perhaps I
can help you now.

マックス殿
私は ろうでお会いした神父です
あなたのおかげで アルタローンは
へいわをとりもどすことができました
私も あなたのおうえんをします

Max-dono
I am the father you met in jail.
Thanks to you, Altaron
was able to come back to peace.
I too will be of assistance to you.


Old Woman in the nort east corner of town :
Before you came, the knights
of Runefaust spoke of the town
of Rindo.

ルーンファウストの騎士がいってたよ
リンドリンドに いそがなくては
…ってね

The Runefaust's knight have said (?)
that if they didn't hurry to Rindorindo, (?)
...that's what they said.

This one give me trouble. X D
The guy obviously didn't hear the whole thing.
Rindo is actually Rindorindo.


Man near that old woman :
I would have fought with you,
but I didn't want the battle
to be too lopsided.

ルーンファウストのヤツらめ
ゆるせないな おれもうでをみがいて
あんたたちをたすけるぜ!
え? いますぐ てつだってくれ?
うーん 10ねん まってくれない?

I won't forgive those Runefaust
guys. By improving my skill too,
I'll help you guys!
Eh? I come to help right now?
Hum, won't you wait ten years?

Would you wait ten years for this guy? : P

Old man in the north east house :
Ah, Rindo. Lots of money
there! Yes, yes, a fine town.

リンドリンドは しょうにんたちの国
こことおなじく 金がすべての国だ
それを わすれぬようにな

Rindorindo is a merchant city.
In the same way than here there is money in all (?) the country.
So I won't forget this. (?)

Not 100% sure here either.
Rindorindo is a rich town like Altaron.
That's probably why this guy know and remember about Rindorindo.


Old man near the sign in the middle of town :
Battles in the streets, friars
in prison....What's this town
coming to?

この国のなかで 戦いがおきるとは!
へいわは えいえんにつづく…
そうおもっていたのに…

That a battle occur inside this country!
Peace last eternally...
Despite thinking it was so...

Basically, this guy way of seeing things was shattered by reality.

Man in front of the castle entrance :
Good luck, Max. Give
Kane a wallop for us!

ああ! チップが旅に出るなんて!
けっきょく いちどもこえを
かけられなかった…

Aah! Chip is leaving on a travel!
Finally, for once I was
speechless.. (?)

Or, "for once I didn't have a voice".
I think the guy is surprised Chip is leaving.
Is a a fan of Chip? X D
Also, in the U.S version, everyone in town
know about the big, bad, evil Kane. Seriously.
In the Japanese version, the villagers had no idea
of what was really going on in the castle, behind the scenes.


Woman in the north west corner of town :
Thank you for driving away
those Runefaust beasts.

へえ あんたたちが戦っていたのが
ルーンファウストって国の人なんだ
恐ろしいれんちゅうだね…

Eeh, you guys have been fighting but
those people from that country, Runefaust
are a dreadful bunch, huh...


Blue woman at the shop :
We were never in any real
danger. Who would hurt us?

あなたが 私たちを
たすけてくれたの? あんまり
つよそうには見えないけど…

You have came
to help us? But
you don't seem much strong...

Booh! :damnit:

Green woman at the shop :
Perhaps in Manarina they'll
know how to deal with Kane.

マナリナに行ってみたら どうかしら
リンドリンドの ほくせいにある
まほうつかいばかり国よ

Should you go to Manarina, I wonder about it. (?)
To the northwest of Rindorindo is
a country of nothing but magicians.

I'm not sure about how to translate "doushikara"
and connect it to the rest of the phrase.


Old woman in the shop :
I wish you well in your
quest! Come back when it's
over and you can relax.
Another thing to double check :
if I recall correctly, this old woman keep saying the same thing
than before in the Japanese version.
By the way, it's the gold tooth woman.


Merchant in the shop :
That was as close as I ever
want to get to a battle!

ああコワかった…
いきなり町のなかで
戦いがはじまるんだもんな

Aahh, that was scary...
Suddenly inside the town,
that a battle started.


Guy from Guardiana in the shop :
I think I'll return to
Guardiana. They need me.

おれは ガーディアナにもどるよ
こまっている人のために
すこしでも 力になりたいんだ

I'll come back to Guardiana.
For the worried persons,
I would like to lend even if a little strenght.

Even if it's not much, he wants to help. ^^

Old man to the rigth of the shop :
We're going to help rebuild
Guardiana. It's the least we
can do to repay you.

我々も ガーディアナのさいけんには
てをかすことにしたよ
あんしんして 旅をつづけなされ

We too have decided to lend
a hand to Guardiana rebuilding.
Continue your travel in peace (of mind).

Japanese note : it seems that "suru", the japanese "to do" verb
can also mean "to try/decide".


********************************************

In the next post I should be able to finish the rest of Chapter 1.

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Tue Jun 09 2009 1:23am
by Martin III
Swalchy @ Tue Jun 09, 2009 12:03 am) wrote: One thinks they may have been constrained by the amount of space taken up by English words, but really, did it have to be this much?

It probably has more to do with western gamers not liking the extreme text-heaviness of Japanese games. It looks great to us here in print because we're Shining fans, but when you're actually playing a game where you spend 10 minutes just clicking to advance text, all that extra storyline isn't so exciting. Especially by the standards of the 16-bit era, when games in general had a lot less text.

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Tue Jun 09 2009 7:31am
by Rick
The general game just seems more well rounded with the entirety of the Japanese text...

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Fri Jun 12 2009 2:51am
by Mew seeker
Sorry for being late.
Because of real life and other things,
the translation might take a while to be posted from time to time. ^^;

>>>>>The general game just seems more well rounded
>>>>> with the entirety of the Japanese text...

That feeling is not likely to go away. : P


Castle of Alterone


2 guards at the entrance :
Welcome to Alterone Castle!

ここは アルタローンの城です!

This is Altaron's castle!

Woman in orange dress near the castle entrance :
Khris is going with you?
I'll hold you responsible if
she gets hurt!

チップはどこなの?
えっ! あなたたちと旅に出るの?
だったら これからは じぶんで
ヒールを おぼえますよ!

Where is Chip?
Eh! She's leaving on a trip with you?
If that's the case, because of this, I'll have to remember
Heal by myself!
"Heal" here is most likely here the spell.

Woman in green dress near the castle entrance :
I'm glad to see you alive
again, Max.

王様の宝って なんだったの?

What was it of (?) the king-sama's treasure?
Or maybe "The King-sama's treasure, what was it?"

A guard in the left of the bar :
Watching you fight was
inspiring. No more sitting
around all day for me!

わたくし 酒はキッパリ やめました
これからは まじめにやります!!

I have definitively stopped to drink wine.
Because of this I'll act seriously!!

Another guard in the left of the bar :
Sorry, Max, no time to
chat. I've got a castle
to guard!

旅出つまえに 町の者たちの
はなしを きいてやってください
やくだつことも あるかもしれません

Before leaving on a trip, please listen
to what the villagers say.
Perhaps there will be something useful.

Guard in the rigth of the bar :
Good job, Max. We'll be
on guard from now on.

よっぱらっている あいだに
ルーンファウストのしんりゃくを
ゆるしてしまうとは?

While the time I (we?) was getting drunk,
that I (we?) allowed
the Runefaust invasion...
I sense regret here.

Bar owner:
Well, I hope you're proud of
yourself. You've ruined my
business!

みんなマジメになったから
私は しょうばいが
むずかしくなりましたよ

Because everyone became serious,
my business
became difficult.

Guard to the rigth of the king's room :
The mages in Manarina are
said to know everything about
everything!

マナリナに お行きなさい!
あの国の えらいまどうしさまは
なんでも しっているといいます

Go to Manarina!
The great magician(s?)-sama of that country,
if they know anything, they will tell it.

Woman in the previously locked basement :
Lindo even has a circus! I'd
love to see a circus. Tell me
about it if you see it!

リンドリンドに行くの?
あそこには サーカスがくるんだって
ああ 見てみたいな?

Do you go to Rindorindo?
There a circus is going too.
Ah, I would like to see it...

Note in the basement :
Castle Rules- No yelling.
No running. No banging
on the ceiling.

「城のなかは おしずかに」

"Inside the castle (go/act) peacefully."

North bookcase in the basement :
101 Dungeon Crafts,
How Dank Was My Dungeon,
and many more books.

「メガファン」
「ビーメガ」
いろいろなほんが おいてある

"Mega fan/fun"
"Bi-mega"
There are various books getting old(?).
The titles are written in Katakana.
Maybe they are name, maybe they're a shout out to something?
Maybe it have something to do with this?
http://www.carrot2.com/TheSuperShinobi1.html


South bookcase in the basement :
How to Build a Secret
Passage, How to Hide Gold,
and many more books.

「ぬけ道のつくり方」
「宝のかくし方ひゃっかじてん」
いろいろなほんが おいてある

"The way of making shorcuts" (!)
"Encyclopedia of the hiding ways/method to hide treasures"
When Chip talked about a secret passage,
it was the same word than the one used here.
But maybe the word "shorcut" would be more accurate.
The Japanese definition is more or less :
"A short way/shortcut disconnected of the main road. Side road/shorcut".


Left knight in the king's room :
I shall never fail my king
again, trust me.

ゆるしてくだされ!
私も ヤツらに
おどされていたのです!

Forgive me! (litterally "give me forgiveness")
I was threatened too
by those guys!

Right knight in the king's room :
To think that we let a snake
like Kane in here. Never
again, Max!

まったく おはずかしい?
ルーンファウストの軍ぜいが
もう 恐くて?
王様も我らのために ヤツらの
いいなり なったのです
かんべんしてください

I am truly ashamed...
Runefaust army/military power
is frightening and...
The king-sama too did
as they said for our sake. (!)
Please forgive (us?).
Litterally, "iinari", becoming what is said.
The Japanese to english dictionnary use the words "yes man".
Once again, everyone in the U.S. talks about Kain!
But really, they feel bad about what happened,
about what they did... or did not.


Minister:
Kane of Runefaust spoke of a
door and a key. Has he found
the key yet?

ルーンファウストのカインが
気になることを いっておりました
ふういんが とかれるのも
もはや じかんのもんだいだと?
ヤツらは ふういんのカギを
てにいれたのでしょうか?

Runefaust's Kain,
had one thing on his mind.
That the seal's dissolution
is already/now a matter of time...
Those guys, they wouldn't have
obtained the seal key?

If you say no :
Then there's still time! You
must hurry after him!

そうですか ならば いいのです

Is is so? Well in that case, it's good.

If you say yes :
We're doomed! That door is
said to hold back an ancient
evil. All is lost!

神々のいさん?
そのふういんが とかれるときは
このせかいが おわるとき?
この国にも
そんないいつたえが のこっています

The legacy of the gods.
That seal, at the moment it is dissolved,
it will be the ending time of this world...
In this country too
that legend/tradition was handed down/remains.
Less "We're doomed!" in the original.
Also, they don't know as much about what's sealed.
We get a legend instead.


King Alterone:
Max, I wasn't myself.
Kane had some power over
me. Can you forgive me?

ああ こんなことになろうとは?
みんなのために よかれとおもい
あいつらの いいなりになったのだ
ところが ヤツらはこの国まで
ほろぼそうとした?
すまね?ゆるしてくれ!

Ah, that it would become like this...
For everyone's sake, I thought things would go well
if I did what those guys said.
However, it seemed/they considered
destroying up to this country...
Sorry... Forgive me!
"Kane had power over me." Yeah, sure!
He too feel really bad.


If you say no :
Alas, you're right. What I
did was unforgivable.

そうか ?ゆるしてはくれぬか
まあ おこるのも むりはなかろう

Is it so ... you cannot come to forgiveness?
Well, that you are angry must be understandable. (?)
I'm not sure but it should be this... I think? X D

If you say yes :
Thank you! I want to help
you. Search the dragon head
to reveal a secret passage!

おお そうか! ゆるしてくれるか!
カインは ここから きたにいった国
リンドリンドにむかった?
そこからふねで ルーンファウストに
もどるつもりじゃ
わしがつくった ちかどうをつかえば
ヤツらに おいつけるじゃろう
この城の たきのそばにある
竜のレリーフを しらべるがよい
ちかどうが あらわれるはずじゃ

Oh, is it so! Are you forgiving me!
The country Kain went to go toward
from here was Rindorindo...
From there by ship he intend
to return to Runefaust.
Should you use a underground tunnel made by me,
you should be able to catch up to them.
It is near this castle's waterfall.
It would be a good idea to check the dragon's relief.
The underground tunnel will appear for sure.
So much was lost here.

When you speak to the king afterward :
Head toward Rindo, then to
Manarina. Someone there
should be able to help you.

そなたたちは ふういんのカギを
さがしているとか?
ならば まずリンドリンドをめざし
そこから マナリナに行くがいい
あの国にすむ まどういしなら
きっと なにかしっているじゃろう

You (plural) are searching
things like the seal key...
Well, if it's the case, first go toward Rindorindo.
From there, it would be good to go to Manarina.
If there are magician living in that country,
undoubtly they must know something.

When you search the dragon head :
There's a chain inside the
head! Do you wish to pull it?

レリーフのなかにくさりを見つけた!
ひいてみますか?

Inside the relief you discovered a chain!
Pull it?

If you say yes:
Max pulls the chain!

マックスは くさりをひっぱった!

Max pulled the chain!

*A secret door appear*

End of chapter :
The Legacy of the Ancients,
the Door, the Key....What
can it all mean?
No matter what the cost, the
mystery must be solved, and
Runefaust's plans foiled.

ルーンファウストのしんりゃくで
旅をすることになったマックス
古えの城には なにがあるというのか
そのふういんを まもるために!
うんめいともいえる 旅だちだった
ガーディアナ王が しにぎわにいった
神々のいさんとは いったい?
マックスは このふしぎな旅が
せかいのうんめいさえもかえることを
まだ しらない

Due to Runefaust's invasion,
Max came into travelling. (?)
In the ancient castle something is said to be there. (?)
In order to protect that seal! (?)
It was the departure that is also called fate. (?)
What on earth was the legacy of the gods
that the Guardiana king (mentioned while he?) was on the verge of death?
Max didn't know yet
that this mysterious travel would even change
the world's fate.
Many parts were not easy for me to translate
and put parts all together.
So chance are that I am a little bit off at places. ^^;
Here the focuse is not on Runefaust but Max's travel that begins.


*****************************
END OF CHAPTER 1

RUNEFAUST INVASION

     第1章
ルーンファウスト軍の侵略
      完

Chapter 1
The Runefaust army invasion
End
*****************************


With this end the first translated chapter of Shining Force.

And now, I'll stop here. To next year! ^-^








Just kidding! :p
After getting your expectation so high, it would be mean to stop right here.
And bad stuff would probably happens to me as well. X D

You know, when I give info about Japanese stuff like this,
I can't help but think it would be easy to make up informotion
because of the lack of people knowing Japanese.
It reminds me of that old, fake rumor in the first Pokémon :
"in the Japanese version, if you catch all pokémons, Mew is given to you."
You guys are giving me a lot of trust, you know! X D
Anyway, I'll try my best to translate accurately withouth doing (too many) mistakes. ^^

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Fri Jun 12 2009 2:32pm
by Cullsoft
Sadly I haven't had the time to read through a lot of the translations here (or get started on putting them into an easy-to-read HTML format)... work's been really heavy on my time recently.

I did take the time to read through the latest bits about Khris, though (well, that's to be expected :p); a lot of it sounds like the story we get in ROTDD, where the characters are "fleshed out" a bit more, although it's intertesting to read how Khris comes across that much tougher here than in ROTDD, given how in LOGI she's a decent physical fighter (as opposed to the average-at-best fighter in ROTDD, where she a lot milder and unaggressive). Funnily enough, it encouraged me to dig out the SHF1 guide with the character profiles, and try to get back into trying to translate her profile there.

Keep up the fantastic work, Mew seeker! :D

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Tue Jun 16 2009 9:53pm
by Martin III
Mew seeker @ Fri Jun 12, 2009 2:51 am) wrote: You know, when I give info about Japanese stuff like this,
I can't help but think it would be easy to make up informotion
because of the lack of people knowing Japanese.
It reminds me of that old, fake rumor in the first Pokémon :
"in the Japanese version, if you catch all pokémons, Mew is given to you."
You guys are giving me a lot of trust, you know! X D

Not that much. I only trust you because you haven't said anything questionable yet. Surprising things, yes, but nothing questionable. It makes sense to trust that far if one has no way of learning the truth for oneself.

And it's interesting to find out why the king of Alterone thought you should go to Rindo and Manarina!

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Wed Jun 17 2009 12:12am
by Mew seeker
Sorry for being late. ^^;
Was I late?

Ok, about "Mega fan/fun", "Bi-mega", I don't know yet what they are.
From the link I gave in the previous post,
it would seem that they are video games magasines or something like that?
The words do show up in a google search
but I need to research a bit more to understand what the words refer to.

>>>>>>Not that much. I only trust you because you haven't said anything questionable yet.

Well, it helps that the stuff I post makes sense. :p

*****************************
CHAPTER 2
Spirit of the Holy Spring

  第2章
神々の泉とその精霊

Chapter 2
The spring of the gods and its seirei?

I'm not 100% sure how to connect "spring of the gods" and "seirei".
"Seirei" here is the spirit of a deceased person.


*****************************

Max and the Shining
Force followed Kane's trail
to the town of Rindo....

マックスたちは
ルーンファウスト軍をおって
リンドリンドに やってきた
リンドリンドにも マックスたちの
ウワサはとどいていたが
その戦いのいみをしる者はなかった‥

Max group
came to Rindorindo
as they chased the Runefaust forces.
The rumor of Max's group
also reached Rindorindo but
there wasn't people knowing the meaning of that battle..


*Rindo*

Sign on HQ :

「ほんじん」

headquarters

Guy near HQ:
Welcome to Rindo. Nova
awaits you downstairs.

ここはリンドリンド
いろんなものが いっぱいある
ゆめもたいな国でさあ

This is Rindorindo.
There are many people/thing.
This is a dream-like country.

Maybe they thought we would feel better if someone awaited us? : P
Then again, considering what happens in town, maybe it's not a bad idea. X D


Sign on the weapon shop :
Swords'n More

「武器屋」

Weapon shop.

Weapons seller:
A warrior's only as good as
his tools, right? And you
seem to need some new ones!

リンドリンドの武器屋にようこそ!
いい武器をもってなきゃ 戦いには
かてないよ さあ 見ておくれ!

Welcome to Rindorindo weapon shop!
If you haven't a good weapon in battle,
you won't win. Well, come to have a look!


Guy in the floor above him :
The name's Boken. I'm going
crazy in this dull place.
Does anything ever happen?

はじめて おめにかかります
わたくし ぼうけんかのボーケンと
もうします!
たいくつは もうこりごり!
ぼうけんに出ようと おもって
いろいろ したくをしてるんです!

For the first time I see/meet you.
I am called
Boken the adventurer! (!)
I have already enough of boredom!
Thinking of leaving doing something like an adventure,
I am making plenty of preparations!

The "o" in Boken is a long one (bouken/bo-ken).
But Bôken/bo-ken/whathever looked weird to me. ^^;
The name is a pun.
Basically, it sounds like "Adventurer the adventurer".
The guy isn't just bored doing,
he's getting ready for leaving instead of doing nothing.


Bookcase near Boken :
The Adventurer's Life,
Danger is My Life,
and many more books.

「アウトドアライフのすすめ」
「ルーンたいりく ぬけ道マップ」
いろいろなほんが ならでいる

"Outdoor live advice/recommendation"
"Rune continent shorcuts/side roads map"
There are various books here.

Once again, the "shorcut" word from chapter one.
Here, it can also have the side road meaning.
Maybe even both meanings.
Boken wasn't kidding when he was saying he was preparing himself.


Sign to the southeast of town :
Circus coming soon to this
location!

「サーカステントけんせつよていち」

"Circus tent construction selected place."

Guy to the southeast next to water :
Yep. The circus tent will be
right over there.

この国にサーカスがきたら
そこあきちに テントがたつんだ
きっとみせも おきゃくでいっぱいさ

If the circus is coming to this country,
it will be built in this vacant spot.
Undoubtly there will be plenty of customers to the shop too.

Is this guy a merchant?

Old man at port near the ship :
Sorry, stranger. Soldiers
bought almost all our ships.
That one is the mayor's.

ふねなら しなぎれだよ
どこかの国の へいたいさんたちが
みんな かってっちまったのさ
えっ あのふねかい?
あれはこの国の ぎちょうのふねさ
うりものじゃないよ

If it's for a ship, we're out of stock.
Soldiers from some country
bought them all.
Eh, that ship over there?
That one is the ship of this country chairman. (!)
It isn't for sale.

"gichou" :
chairman, speaker (of assembly), president (of council, senate, etc.)
The yahoo Japanese dictionary definition is more of less :
In a meeting, the one performing/conducting the vote.
Also, the representative of said organ meeting,
the person that became at the person of said activity.
There's another definition but it's harder for me to translate.
In that second one, it's a representative in politic, something like that.

So, basically, the chairman in this town is a representative of the place.
Is Rindorindo a democraty?


Kid near bar:
When I get older, I'll have a
shop of my very own!

ボク 大きなったら
ガーディアナのみせを出すんだ
へいわで いい国だって
父ちゃんが いつも いってるよ

If I was old/big enough,
I would open a shop in Guardiana.
Because it's said to be a good country because of peace, (?)
father-chan would be always there.

I'm not 100% sure of the third sentence but it sounds right.
The little guy want to be with his father. ^^


Sign on the right of the bar :
Odds'n Ends Shop

「道具屋」

"Tool shop"
The shops's name are more sober in the Japanese version.

Sign on the left of the bar :
Club Rindo

「酒場リンド」

"Rindo bar"

Old man in the bar:
The Legacy of the Ancients?
Go to Manarina and ask the
mages. They'll know.

なに? 神々いさんじゃと?
それなら マナリナに行きなされ
あそこの まどうしたちにきくがええ

What? "The legacy of the gods"?
If it's about this, go to Manarina.
It would be a good idea to listen to the magicians there.

I can't help but notice how so many people keep pointing us to Manarina
for that kind of stuff.


Items seller in the bar :
Welcome! We have a wide
variety of items for you.
Take a look!

リンドリンドの道具屋にようこそ!
やくにたつ道具が いろいろあるぜ
さあ 見てってくれよ

Welcome to Rindorindo tool shop!
There are various useful items.
Well, come to have a look.


Bookshelf in the bar :
101 Ways to Cook Dragon,
Love Those Spices,
and many more books.

「せかいのカクテル」
「シャイニング戦き」
いろいろなほんが ならでいる

"The world's cocktails"
"Shining shivering (?)"
There are various books here.

The translation sounds right, it's just that I don't know what it is about.
I'm sure it's referencing to something but I don't know what.


Guy outside the theater:
They won't let me inside.
They say I'm a bad actor.
What do critics know?

ああ 大きなみせが ほしいぜ
てんじょうがあるヤツがいいな
…ちょっと ぜいたくかな?

Ah, I would like a big shop.
If there is an heaven, eight would be nice. (?)
... is it a little too much/extravaguant/luxuous?

I'm not sure about the second sentences
but you get the main idea anyway. ^^
I wonder why in the U.S. the guy talk about the theater.
Maybe they wanted us to see what happened inside? : P


******************************************************

For the next post, it will be... the theater!
It will be... interesting. X D

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Wed Jun 17 2009 2:10am
by BigNailCow
Here's something I worked on a little bit a few days ago. I might work on it more if there's interest:
http://bignc.ath.cx/sf1trans/sf1trans.htm

Thoughts?

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Wed Jun 17 2009 3:03am
by Amelie
BigNailCow @ Wed Jun 17, 2009 1:10 am) wrote: Here's something I worked on a little bit a few days ago. I might work on it more if there's interest:
http://bignc.ath.cx/sf1trans/sf1trans.htm

Thoughts?

That's lovely stuff, there. Very easy to read!

Mew - I'm loving this - it's great reading!

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Wed Jun 17 2009 7:56am
by Cullsoft
BigNailCow @ Wed Jun 17, 2009 2:10 am) wrote: Here's something I worked on a little bit a few days ago. I might work on it more if there's interest:
http://bignc.ath.cx/sf1trans/sf1trans.htm

Thoughts?

More or less what I had in mind, but for a few differences:
- Page fitting into a 1024px width to save scrolling (probably meaning a smaller font size);
- Probably rearrange the column order, something along the lines of English version first, then the columns on the translation, then the notes;
- Possibly adding column seperators, depending on how they affect the readability. Probably wouldn't do them on all columns, such as having the Japanese translation columns appearing as if in one column.
- DARK TEXT ON LIGHT BACKGROUND. Especially as this is a text-heavy page.

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Wed Jun 17 2009 8:32am
by Flygon
I personally had no problems with the page, but I can understand the 1024*768 argument. Though I don't know of many people that would use anything below 1280*720 nowadays.

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Wed Jun 17 2009 11:15am
by Amelie
Culley O'Fursdom @ Wed Jun 17, 2009 6:56 am) wrote: - DARK TEXT ON LIGHT BACKGROUND. Especially as this is a text-heavy page.

Oddly, I've always prefered light text on a dark background. I find it easier to read. Swings and roundabouts as they say.

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Thu Jun 18 2009 3:13am
by Mew seeker
>>>>>>>Thoughts?

Looks fine to me so far. ^-^
So does the font to me.
I'll have to mind my own comments if they end up there as well. : P

Anyway, today's post is the Rindorindo's theater.

Sign in front of the theater :
Rindo Theather. Actors and
actresses wanted.
「リンドリンドしばいごや
やく者さん ぼしゅうちゅう!」

"Rindorindo theather
We are currently recruiting actors-san!"

Adding a -san to actors?
I suppose that the politness is there to attract people.


Man at the counter:
The play's about to begin.
It's about Runefaust routing
Guardiana. Want to see it?

さあさあ 見てらっしゃい!
ほんじつのだしものは…
ルーンファウストと…
ガーディアナのざんとうの
戦いのものがたり!
よそじゃ見られない大はくりょく!
おきゃくさんも 見てくだろ?

Well well, you are looking to see!
Today's program is...
The battle story (monogatari)...
of Runefaust and
Guardiana's remnants!
You won't see such an intensity (?) elsewhere!
Won't you come to be a guest too?

From yahoo Japanese dictionnary :
Hakuryoku :
The strenght to approach strongly the heart of a listening or watching person.
"Intensity" is the closest thing I came up with,
althought "moving" might be more appropriate.
This guy politness is higher than everage
which is understandable since he seems to run a bussiness.
Merchant often use an higher than average politness level,
at least in games. : P


If no :
Too bad. It's wonderful!

はー こんなオモシロイものを
見ないなんて あんた そんしたよ

Ha, if you don't go to see
this amusing thing, it's your loss.


If yes :
Go sit down. It's starting!

さあ そろそろはじまるよ
いいせきがあいてるから
そっちで見ておくれな

Well, it is starting soon.
Since there's a good empty place,
go have a look there.

"aiteru" gave me trouble to translate.
I realised after doing a google search
that it's apparently the shortened form of "aiteiru" >-<


Woman in the theater:
I always enjoy these plays.
"The Glory of Runefaust"
should be wonderful.

ここのしばいは いつもおもしろいの
とくに きょうのは さいこうね
「ルーンナイト・大かつやく!」
という おしばいなのよ!

The play here is always interesting.
(Among) especially fun (thing), it is the best/highest.
"Runefaust Great Activity!" (!)
is how the play is called!

Actually, the title is Runefaust big/huge activity
but to that specific "activity" word
is linked the idea of brilliant/splendid/remarkable.



Kid in the theater:
Go Runefaust! Go Runefaust!

ぼくはつよい人がすきさ!
だからルーンファウストはだいすく!

I like strong persons!
Because of that, I like Runefaust a lot!


Old man in the theater:
A fine play with strong
performances all around. I've
seen it many times already.

いやあ しばいはおもしろいのお
としがらもなく こうふんしちまう
ふんがー ふんがー
いかん いかん…!
いればが はずれちまったよ!

Heyaa, the play is interesting.
I am gettin excited unlike what I should act at my age.
Fungah, fungah
how, how...!
My false tooth fell out!


When you take your place in the theater,
a man appear and say :
Thank you for waiting. The
show will now begin!

おまたせいたしました!
ただいまより おしばいが
はじまります!

You have been waiting!
From now on the play
is beginning!

Let me remind you one more time that this guy
use an higher politness than normal.


*And then, two actors appear, one being a "Rune Knight" and the other "Max".*

"Rune Knight" :
Take that, you Guardiana
wimp! And that! And that!

みつけたぞ ガーディアナの
ざんとうめ! ルーンファウストに
さからう おろか者!

I have found you Guardiana
remnant guy! Stupid person
going against Runefaust!

Here, the politness level is low.

"Max" :
Please don't kill me, mighty
Runefaust knight, please!

うひー どうか いのちばかりは
おたすけください!

Uhee, please spare
simply my life!

The politness level is above average.
He is really begging for life. X D


"Rune Knight" :
You're too weak to live, you
lowly worm. Take that!

ええい そうはいくか!
かくごしろ!

Eeh, is it how it go!
Prepare yourself!

I guess that in the story,
he expected at least a fight and/or more dignity.
In any case, he attacks.


"Max" :
Aiiieeee! You've killed me!

うひーっ!

Uheeeee!
That must really sound wimpy. X D

"Rune Knight?" :
So shall Runefaust's foes
always fall!
Pow! Bang! Smash!

ルーンナイト のこうげき!
メチャクチャすごいダメージを
あたえた!

Runefaust's attack!
Excessively amazing damage
was dealt! (!)

The text here mimics (parody?) the in-game battle text used in battle.

The crowd :
Clap! Clap! Clap!

パチパチパチ パチパチパチ!

Clapclapclap clapclapclap!

Then, the man who presented the play say :
Thank you and come again!

おたのしみ いただけましたか?
よわいガーディアナをやっつける
ルーンファウストの大かつやく!

Did you find it enjoyable/fun?
Runefaust Great Activity
beating up the weak Guardiana!

This is really not our day. : P

The crowd :
Clap! Clap! Clap!

パチパチパチ パチパチパチ!

Clapclapclap clapclapclap!

Then, the man who presented the play say :
We're looking forward to your
next visit.

それでは またのおこしを
おまちしております

With this, we will be waiting
for your next coming.


*He leaves*

"Rune Knight" :
What a great role! The
actor's life is for me!

ははは いいやくがもらえたよ
やくしゃをやってて よかったぜ

Hahaha I obtained a good role .
Becoming an actor was good.


"Max" :
What a rotten role! I can't
stand this much longer.

ああ こんな なさけないやくは
はやくやめたいなあ…

Ah, I would like this miserable luck
to stop soon...

Or maybe "I would like to stop this miserable role soon"?
It's the same word for role and bad luck.


Bookcase near the actors :
The Rindo Theather Group,
Acting Techniques,
and many more books.

「リンドリンドいちざのれきし」
「しばいごやけいえい」
いろいろなほんが ならんでいる

"Rindorindo's troupe's history/successive generations"
"Theather administration/management/running"
There are various books here.


First girl between the theater and the bar :
I can't wait for the circus!
Isn't it exciting?

もうすぐ サーカスがくるそうよ
あたし サーカスがだいすきなの
はやく 見たいわー

It seems the circus is coming very soon.
I like the circus a lot.
I would like to see it soon.


Second girl between the theater and the bar :
Guardiana's Princess Anri is
in Manarina. I hope things
are quieter there.

あなた ガーディアナからきたのね
マナリナにいる王じょ様に
会いに行くんでしょ

You came from Guardiana huh?
I guess you are going to meet
the princess-sama that is in Manarina.


*******************************************

For next time, the first encounter with Guntz.

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Thu Jun 18 2009 3:26am
by Earl
Culley O'Fursdom @ Wed Jun 17, 2009 2:56 am) wrote: - DARK TEXT ON LIGHT BACKGROUND. Especially as this is a text-heavy page.

From The Best Page In The Universe:

I've chosen a black background for most of my text because it's easier on the eyes than staring at a white screen. Think about it: your monitor is not a piece of paper, no matter how hard you try to make it one. Staring at a white background while you read is like staring at a light bulb (don't believe me? Try turning off the lights next time you use a word processor). Would you stare at a light bulb for hours at a time? Not if you want to keep your vision.

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Thu Jun 18 2009 8:21am
by Cullsoft
Which is why I used the term LIGHT BACKGROUND as opposed to white.

Besides, if you're focussing on the white bits of text rather than the black background, surely that's more like staring at a light bulb than focussing on the black text that's in the white page's ambient illumination? ;)

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Sun Jun 21 2009 12:54am
by Mew seeker
Here is today (small) update.

In the house in the Northeast :

First Floor :

-Guy in heavy armor :
Whew! It's heavy. And hot!

うー おもい
うー おもいよ!

Uuh it's heavy.
It's heavy I tell you! (?)

Gunzt say the same thing twice but the second time he add "yo"
which is used to make assertion.
I'm not sure if I translated it properly. ^^;


-Old man :
Crock the Genius, that's me.
Look at my steam suit. Guntz,
walk over here!

はつめいのてんさい!
クロックのいえにようこそ!
ちなみに わしがクロックじゃ
よかったら わしのつくったけっさく
スチームスーツを 見ていきなさい
これガンツ! あるいてみるんじゃ!

The inventions genius!
Welcome in Crock's house! (!)
By the way I am Crock.
If it's ok, come to have a look at the steam suit,
the masterpiece done by me.
Here (is?) Guntz! Try to walk!

Crock could also be translated Clock
but I'll keep the U.S. translation as it is a proper translation.
As for Guntz, the katakana litterally say Gantsu
but I think Guntz is close enough to keep it,
unlike, let's say, Khris and Chip. : P


Guntz:
It still doesn't seem right.

こんどは だいじょうぶなんですか?
ホントに うごくんですか?

Will it be ok this time?
Will it truly move?

In the original, it looks like it isn't the first time Guntz go through this. : P

Dr. Crock:
Silence! Just do as I ask!

バカ者! このクロック様を
しんようできんのか!
さっさと あるけ!

Idiot! You can't trust
this Crock-sama!?
Quickly, walk!

Crock is full of himself, isn't he?.

Guntz:
OK, OK!

…わかりましたよ

... understood.
I just like the way he say it in the original. ^^

*He advance a bit and stop.*

Guntz:
It stopped! Not again!

う うごかなくなった…
ま まただよ…

It, it became immobile... (litterally "not moving)
Ag, again...


Dr. Crock:
Oh dear. Well, back to the
old drawing board.

おちゃー また しっぱいか!

Ochaah, is it another failure!

If you talk to Dr. Crock again :
I'm still working on it, but
the steam suit is almost
done.

スチームスーツは みかんせいじゃ
とちゅうで 金がそこをついての
ぎちょうに 金をかりようとしたが
あのケチ あいてにもしてくれんん!
まったく しつれいなヤツよ!

The steam suit is unfinished.
Concerning the money on the way,
I'll try to borrow some from the chairman but
that tightwad won't become a partner! (?)
Truly a rude guy!

About the fourth line, I am not so sure about the translation.
An alternate one could be that "the chairman do not intend to open."
I have this image of Crock banging on the door and
the chairman hiding himself in his house. :p
In any case, Crock wants money from the chairman
and is having an hard time to make it coming.


-Bookshelf on the left :
Modern Science,
Do Witches Really Float?
and many more books.

「はつめいの心」
「こうてつの戦士」
いろいろなほんが ならんでいる

"Invention heart/soul"
"Steel/armor knight"
There are various books here.


-Bookshelf on the right :
Inventions and Inventors,
Suits of Armor,
and many more books.

「はつめいかクロックものがたり」
「スチームエンジンのすべて」
いろいろなほんが ならんでいる

"Inventor Croc Monogatari"
"All about steam engines"
There are various books here.

If you didn't thought yet that Croc have a good opinion of himself...

Second Floor :

-Woman:
That Dr. Crock! A brilliant
man, but no common sense.

クロックせんせいったら こまったわ
お金にならないことばかりに
むちゅうに なるんだから!
あたしが めんどう見てあげなきゃ
ごはんのしたくも できないくせに!

If you were worried about Croc-sensei,
he is absorbed (!)
when it's not things about money! (?)
I am not paying attention to it
and yet I am not able to prepare the meal at all!

About "absorbed", to be more precise,
the word here means that you're in a dream
or so much into something that you froget yourself.
Like you guys when you play Shining Force! ;)
About the third line, I'm not sure about it but it does sound fine.


-Bookshelf on the left :
Secrets of the Universe,
Eerie Science,
and many more books.

「コミック シャイニングだい1かん」
「たぐちそうすいでん」
いろいろなほんが ならんでいる

"Comic Shining volume 1"
"Taguchi Sou paddy field (?)"
There are various books here.

A paddy field is that water filled field where they make grow thing like rice.
I think the Taguchi Sou paddy field is some kind of real life reference
but I don't know enough to tell about what.
But it does reminds me of Super Mario bros 3,
where there is a island shaped like Japan and the King's castle was
were Nintendo headquarters were located. : P
I don't know if the Shining Comic is a reference to something as well.


-Bookshelf on the right :
Home Alchemy Handbook, Lead
to Gold and Vice Versa,
and many more books.

「リンドリンドおたのしみマップ」
「てんどうせつ」
いろいろなほんが ならんでいる

"Rindorindo pleasure/fun map"
"Ptolemaic theory"
There are various books here.

The Ptolemaic theory is the one saying that the earth is a the center of the universe
and that all the planets ans stars are revolving around it.
It tell a bit about what kind of world the one in the game is.
You wouldn't think that much stuff would be lost with books but here...


**********************************************************

In the next update, the town of Rindorindo should be covered... for now. : P

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Sun Jun 21 2009 1:25am
by Swalchy
Mew seeker @ Sun Jun 21, 2009 12:54 am) wrote: About "absorbed", to be more precise,
the word here means that you're in a dream
or so much into something that you froget yourself.
Like you guys when you play Shining Force! ;)

Engrossed might be the better term :)

Sorry, there's so many synonyms in English, there's probably like 10 different words that could translate the one Japanese one, which obviously makes translating Japanese to English harder for non-native English speakers like yourself =/

Doing an excellent job at the moment though - loving every minute of it!

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Tue Jun 23 2009 1:35am
by Mew seeker
Old man in the horth of town :
When you reach Manarina, see
Otrant. There's nothing he
does not know.

あんた マナリナに行かれたなら
オトラント様に会ってみなされ
しらないことは なにもないっていう
えらーい まどうし様なんじゃ

If you were heading to Manarina,
you must try to meet Otrant-sama.
It is said there is not a thing he doesn't know.
He's a greaat magician-sama.


Guy near the church:
Have you seen our theater?
There's a new play starting
today. Go see it!

おもしろいしばいを やってるって
しばいごやが ひょうばんなんだ
あとで のぞきにいってみるか

An interesting play is said to be showing up.
The theater is famous.
You could try to have a look later? (?)

I'm not sure if I must end the last sentence with a question mark,
although the "ka" particle at the end might suggest it.
Oh and give us a break with the play. X D


Priest :
Welcome, Max!
I've been expecting you.
How can I help you
and the Shining Force?

まよえる こひつじよ!
よくぞ 我が教に まいられた
神と光の名において そなたの
のぞみを かなえて しんぜよう!

Stray lambs!
You have done well (?) to come in my church.
In the name of God and the light, your
wishes shall be granted!

Basically, it's the same standard church text from before.

Bookshelves in the church, from left to right :

First Bookshelf :
Walk in the Light,
101 Comforting Sayings,
and many more books.

「神の心」
「神とともに」
いろいろなほんが ならんでいる

"God's heart/soul"
"Together with God"
There are various books here.


Second Bookshelf :
The Light Shines on Rindo,
Good Folks of Rindo
and many more books.

「リンドリンドのしゅうきょう」
「教会けいえい」
いろいろなほんが ならんでいる

"Rindorindo's religion (s?)"
"Church management"
There are various books here.

It could be one or several religions.
Only context could give more precision,
a simple title isn't enough.


Third Bookshelf :
Legends of the Ancients,
Tales of Long Ago,
and many more books.

「古代人のひみつをさぐる」
「生きかえりのひじゅつ」
いろいろなほんが ならんでいる

"Searching for the Ancients secret(s?)"
"Ressurection secret art"
There are various books here.

By secret art, it mean either a secret skill with a special effect
or a secret technique (jutsu?) that is not divulgued (but to a few?).
Basically, the knowledge to revive is there, but just for a few.
Remember how the priests in the game may revives your characters.


Fourth Bookshelf :
Poison Cures,
Basic Reviving,
and many more books.

「どくのちりょう」
「よくわかる神様」
いろいろなほんが ならんでいる

"Poison medical treatment"
"Knowing/understanding well God-sama"
There are various books here.

Once again, some things are lost with books.
Reviving is mentioned here instead of before.


Mayor's house :
-Woman:
Our son is just dying to see
the circus.

もうすぐサーカスがくるって
子どもが はしゃいでばかりで
ホントにこまりますわ

It is truly worrying
that the child is nothing but in high spirit
about the circus coming soon in town.

The word used here, "hashagu",
also have the conotation of being noisy on top of being in high spirit/frolicking.


-Man :
My father is the mayor of
this fine town.

リンドリンドの国をだいひょうする
ぎちょうとは この方…
私の父上です

The chairman that represent
the country of Rindorindo is this person (or this way?)...
It's my father.

Rindorindo is not just a town, it's a country.
Maybe it's the same for some other "towns" in the game.


-Old man :
Yes, I am the mayor. Kane of
Runefaust bought all our ships
and sailed away.
So sorry, no ships are left.
My ship? You can't have it!
Now please leave.

私の国をだいひょうする
ぎちょうです
ルーンファウストのカイン…
…たしかに その方は
この国に いらっしゃいました
ここにあるふねを みんな
かいあげてくれましてね
そのご 母国にもどられましたよ
…ルーンファウストが
ガーディアナを ほろぼしたなど
我が国には かんけいのないこと
そういうことなら マナリナに
ごそうだんなさったら いかがです?
せきしょのとびらは あけさせますよ

I am the chairman representing
my country.
Runefaust's Kain...
... definitively, that person
came to this country.
Buying all the ships
there are in this country,
afterward he went back to his homeland.
Runefaust
destroyed Guardiana and such.
It is not something that is related to our country.
If it's about that sort of thing, how about
you would do so(?) at Manarina?
The barrier's door (!) will be opened.

Actually, it's not even sure Max asked
about borrowing a ship in the original.
The politness level is high,
probably something that would suit the representative of a country well.
He doesn't seem to think that our bussiness concern his country
but he does offer us an option.
He doesn't consider Kain as a bad guy, just some guy from elsewhere.
I'm not so sure about the part at the end
but it seem to be something like that.

The barrier in question is a "sekisho"
and it have a long, long definition in the yahoo Japanese dictionary. X D
It could also be translated as a checkpoint.
Shortly, they were created on highway important spot and borders
and people and goods were checked there.
They were an important source of incomes for many organisations
but impeded with commerce.
Some (all?) were abolished in 1869.


If you talk to the Mayor again :
Didn't you hear me?
Get lost!

これいじょう はなすことは
ありませんな
ひきとってもらいましょう

There won't be anymore listening
to this.
You will leave.

He isn't the type to say "Get lost".
He remains very polite but is very firm and clear that the talk is over.


-Bookshelf :
The History of Rindo,
Famous Rindo Mayors
and many more books.

「リンドリンドのれきし」
「リンドリンドかいぎ」
いろいろなほんが ならんでいる

"Rindorindo's history"
"Rindorindo's conferences/meetings"
There are various books here.


Second floor

-Child :
I love the circus!

うちのおじいちゃんは
とっても えらい人なんだよ
ぼくのことも かわいがってくれるよ

My /our grandpa-chan
is a very great/famous person.
He is also very affectionated with me.

The mention that this child like the circus
was only done before by the mother.
Here instead we get to learn a bit more about the chairman.


-Bookshelf :
Business Sense,
How to Become Rich,
and many more books.

「しょうばいのコツ」
「お金もちになるには」
いろいろなほんが ならんでいる

"Bussiness skill/knack"
"For becoming a rich man"
There are various books here.


Battle 5 - To Manarina

Nova:
Our enemies seek to stop you
from reaching Anri in
Manarina. You must succeed!

マックス殿 敵がいますぞ!
ややっ! あの者たちは
マナリナのまどうしが国をまもるため
あやつっているかいぶつたちですな
しかし グズグズしてはいられません
まどうしの国マナリナへ行き
アンリ様に会うのです!

Max-dono, there are enemies!
Yayaa! Those persons,
magicians of Manarina, in order to defend their country
are manipulating monsters.
But we must not enter slowly.
Let's go to the magician's country Manarina
to meet Anri-sama!

Who said U.S. Nova was better? ;)
Surprise! We are not fighting Runefaust here.
And they can use monsters against us.
"Yayaa" could be translated as "yikes". : P


*If you reach Manarina before killing all enemies*

Nova:
Max! You've reached
your destination, but some
enemies remain.
Will you leave them?

マックス殿! もくてきちに
とうちゃくしましたぞ!
敵がのこっておりますが
そのままにして
なかにはいりますかな?

Max-dono! You have arrived
to destination!
There are enemies remaining but
will you enter inside
the way things are?


*After all opponents are defeated*

Nova:
Max, now enter
Manarina! We must inform
Anri about Guardiana!

マックス殿
マナリナにはいりましょうぞ!
アンリ様にガーディアナのこを
おつたえせねば…

Max-dono,
let's enter Manarina!
If we do not report about Guardiana's (?)
to Anri-sama...

I think the "ko" in the third line is a shortened form of "koto",
the japanese "thing" word. Assuming I am right, the translation should be fine.
It's hard for me to look for the meaning of a non-kanji word
formed with a single syllab. X D


*********************************

That's it for today.
Next time, the town of Manarina, and also why they attacked us. : P

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Tue Jun 23 2009 3:26am
by Flygon
I dunno, Nova is still better 80% of the time.

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Tue Jun 23 2009 7:27am
by Earl
Nice that the chairman opens the barrier to help you, and actually tells you it's been opened. In the English version, the barrier is just mysteriously gone for no reason (unless you take "Now please leave" to mean 'leave the town', which isn't exactly clear).

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Wed Jun 24 2009 10:56pm
by Martin III
Mew seeker @ Tue Jun 23, 2009 1:35 am) wrote: Who said U.S. Nova was better? ;)
Surprise! We are not fighting Runefaust here.

This is true in the English translation as well; they just don't tell you until you get to Manarina. Personally, I prefer the English version here, as it's not clear how Nova could know the attack wasn't from Runefaust. There doesn't seem to be any distinctive uniform for either Runefaust or Manarina. Not that we can't assume that both nations have uniforms, but it's a little odd for Noma to say "Look, Manarina mages attacking us!" while pointing at units that look just like the Runefaust troops you've been facing.

This is getting very interesting, though! Lots more of Dr. Crock, which I loved reading. And some of the book titles reveal once again the English translators squeamishness about including religious references, a la the crucifix on the church in SitD and the devil king named Lucifer in SF2. The Rindo mayor is better in the original, too; less of a tired cliche.

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Thu Jun 25 2009 6:59am
by Flygon
Martin III @ Wed Jun 24, 2009 10:56 pm) wrote: Not that we can't assume that both nations have uniforms, but it's a little odd for Noma to say "Look, Manarina mages attacking us!" while pointing at units that look just like the Runefaust troops you've been facing.

Nothing hacking cannot fix.

Yes, I've done what the developers cannot.

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Fri Jun 26 2009 6:26pm
by Mew seeker
>>>>>>but it's a little odd for Noma to say
>>>>>>"Look, Manarina mages attacking us!" while pointing at units
>>>>>> that look just like the Runefaust troops you've been facing.

>>>>>>>>>>Nothing hacking cannot fix.
>>>>>>>>>>Yes, I've done what the developers cannot.

Yes, it might look odd but it seems to be more something to put on technical limits.
I would go as far as telling that if the game can't show us the difference here,
then Nova have to talk to make us realize it.

That being said, it's interesting see that Runeaust isn't the only group to use units like
Snipers, Dark Mages and Dwarves. They're not even above using Zombies eithers.

Hum, can you guys see the Japanese character in this post like in the others?
I updated my web browser and I can't see them in this forum anymore. X D

Anyway, I am starting the town of Manarina.
I have put the chicken text the same way I put them in the Japanese script.
So you might see the same texts more than once here and there. ^^;;

**************
Manarina
**************

Mage at the entrance :
Welcome to Manarina, a land
of magic and mystery.

まほうと 神ぴの国
マナリナにようこそ!

Welcome to Manarina
the country of magic and mysteries!


If you talk to him as a chicken :
What in the world is a hen
doing here?! Shoo, shoo!

なんで こんなところに
ニワトリがいるんだ?
あっちに行け! しっし!

What is doing a chicken
in this place?
Go over there! Shisshi!

"Shisshi" means more or less the same thing than "shoo".

Mage to the left of the magic school :
We're sorry about attacking
you, but we thought you were
from Runefaust.

いやあ すまなかったねえ
てっきりルーンファウストが
せめてきたと おもってさ
それにしても あんたたちつよいね

Iyaa. We are sorry. (?)
We thought that it was beyond doubt
Runefaust who came to attack.
Still, you guys are strong.

"sumanai" which mean more or less "sorry"
is written in the past, which doesn't seems right.
Maybe it's instead "We didn't make it/it wasn't good enough"
in which case the reaction of the guy is surprise
from us breaking through their forces.


As a chicken :
Things are getting stranger
around here every day!

ああ かわいそうに!
あのバーサンの しわざだな!

Ah, it looks like a cute chicken!
It must be that granny doing!


Mage in front of the magic school :
So sorry about the attack. We
can't be too careful in these
troubled times.

ルーンファウストのうごきは
我々も つかんでいた
だが まちがって あなたたちを
こうげきしてしまうとは…
まことに もうしわけない…

We too got a grasp of
Runefaust activity
but that we actually attacked
you guys by mistake...
This is truly inexcusable...


As a chicken :
Chicken soup tonight. Yum!

おっ こんやのおかずに…

Oh, tonight side dish...

Wizardess to the right of the magic school :
Feel free to wander about as
you please.

マナリナには めいぶつまどうしが
たくさのるぞ
ぜひとも たずねてみなされ

In Manarina, there are many famous
magician coming in.
By all means come to have a look.


As a chicken :
Seeing you makes me hungry. I
wonder what's for dinner?

あ! うまそうなニワトリ!

Ah! A delicious looking chicken!

Priest near headquarter, as a chicken :
Next time, don't volunteer
for experiments!

ふはははは!
ざんねんだが 私には
もとにもどすことは できんぞ

Fuhahahaha!
This is deplorable but I
am not able to return you to your original form.

In the original, he thinks it's funny. : P
So he can revive us, lift curses but not bring us to normal? : P


Note on the outside wall of the magic school :
Manarina Mage School

「まほうとしんぴの国 マナリナ!
でしいりきぼう者 大かんげい!」

"The country of magic and mysteries Manarina!
A big welcome to person wishing to apprentice!"


Note inside the left sector of the magic school :
Experiment in progress!
Proceed at your own risk!

「じっけんバーサンにちゅうい!
ニワトリにされるまえに にげろ!」

"Be wary of the experimentating granny!
Run before you get changed into a chicken!"

The risk is a bit more stated in the original.

Note inside the middle sector of the magic school :
No more magical duels!
It wrecks the town!

「オトラントより つうたつ
ケンカに まほうをつかわないこと
…町がこわれるぞ!」

"Notification from Otrant.
Magic must not be used in quarrels.
...the town is being damaged!"

From Otrant himself.

Bookcase in the middle section :
Spark Level 2,
Blaze Level 4
and many more books.

「スパーク・レベル2」
「ブレイズ・レベル4」
まほうのほんが ならんでいる

"Spark Level 2"
"Blaze Level 4"
There are magic books here.


Mage near that bookcase :
What a mess! Won't people
ever learn not to use Blaze
inside?

ちくしょう! 2かいのヤツめ!
おくの わしのへやを
また メチャクチャにしよった!
へやのなかで ブレイズをつかうなと
あれほどいったのに!

Damn! Those two guys!
The inside of my room
was made again in a mess!
I told them as much as (?)
to not use Blaze inside the room!

I'm not 100% sure about the end ut it should be more or less like that.
You would think that, with Otrant's note...


As a chicken :
Seeing you makes me hungry. I
wonder what's for dinner?

あ! うまそうなニワトリ!

Ah! A delicious looking chicken!

Mage near summoning circle:
Har, har! You're just in time.
Would you like to observe?

ふふふ…ふふふふ…
きみは 恐ろしいばしょに
あしを ふみいれたのだ…
これから じっけんをかいしする
ヒジョーに恐ろしいものだが
見ていくかね?

Fufufu...fufufufu...
You walked your foot
into a dreadful place...
From here/now on a experiment will start.
It is an extremely dreadful thing but
won't you come to see it?


If you say yes :
Good. Sit quietly and watch a
master at work!

そうか かくごして見るがいい

Is it so? It would be good that you're ready to look.

If you say no :
Who said you can refuse?
Stand there and watch!

バカ者! ことわっていいなどと
だれがいった! イヤでも見るんだ!

Idiot! Who have said (?) that to decline would be
a good thing and so on! Wheter you like it or not you'll watch!

Another place I am not completely sure
but that should be more ir less like this.


In any case, you go to the side
and he goes in front of the statue, saying :

I'm researching summoning
demons. Now, I'm going to
begin the experiment.
I shall summon a dreadful
thing from my worst
nightmares!
Come forth, oh creature of
Darkness! I conjure you
forth!

わしは しょうかんまほうの
けんきゅうをしとるんだ
これから そのじっけんをする
いまだかつてない 恐ろしいものを
よびだしてみせよう!
マーナのやみの力にめいずる!
我にしたがい やみのけしんを
恐ろしき力を よびだしたまえ!

I am studying
summon magic.
From now on I'll do this experiment.
I shall try to summon
a thing of a never yet know before dreadfulness!
I command Maana (?) dark power!
I am calling in front of me the dreadful power,
incarnation of darkness abiding to me!

I don't know if Maana refer to mana in general or
if it's somekind of maded up name.
Personally, I think it's the latter.


*A woman appears at the summoning circle *

Huh?

・・・・・

.....

Woman:
You! When are you going to
stop these tricks? Come
home right now!

ちょっとアンタ! いつまで
バカなこといってれば 気がすむの?
もう かえるわよ!

You again! How long
will you have to do stupid things until you feel satisfied?
Come back already!

In the "you again part, I think there's the implication that something like that
happened really not too long ago. X D


*The woman drag him outside.*

Mage near summoning circle:
Oops! Sorry, dear! I'll never
do that again. Yes, I'll be
good, honest!

ひー ゆるしてください
まじめに はたらきますから!

Hii please forgive me,
(because) I'll be working seriously!


As a chicken :
Chicken soup tonight. Yum!

おっ こんやのおかずに…

Oh, tonight side dish...

********************************************

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Sat Jun 27 2009 1:43am
by Flygon
Mew seekers translation of the priest in Manarina with you as a chicken @ Fri Jun 26, 2009 6:26 pm) wrote:Fuhahahaha!
This is deplorable but I
am not able to return you to your original form.

Signature worthy.

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Mon Jun 29 2009 12:19am
by Martin III
Mew seeker @ Fri Jun 26, 2009 6:26 pm) wrote: Hum, can you guys see the Japanese character in this post like in the others?
I updated my web browser and I can't see them in this forum anymore. X D

Maybe this will help?

As a chicken :
Chicken soup tonight. Yum!

おっ こんやのおかずに?

Oh, tonight side dish...


Hmm, I guess it is rather unusual to use chicken as a side dish here in the west.

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Tue Jun 30 2009 11:49pm
by Mew seeker
Sorry for the late udate. ^^;
Edit : corrected a minor HTML error.

>>>>>Signature worthy.

Didn't expect that reaction. X D
Actually, there is someone else using the same words.

>>>>Maybe this will help?

I'm not sure if it helped but now I can see the Japanese font thanls to some kind of
compatibility button in my internet bar.
But now, my web font is all small. X D
I guess I downloaded something I shouldn't have. ^^;;;
Oh well, I'll manage anyway. : )
Edit : oh and thanks. ^^

>>>>>>Hmm, I guess it is rather unusual to use chicken as a side dish here in the west.

Well, he only see one chicken. ;)
More seriously, it's possible that in Japan, rice would be the main dish
and not chicken. But I am not an expert in that matter.

I'll finish Manarina first floor here... for now. : )

Mage to the right of the middle note :
Beneath this building lies
the Cavern of Darkness! A
horrible place, they say!

この国には 恐ろしいどうくつがある
その名も あんこくどうくつ!
かいぶつたちの すみかじゃよ

In this country, there is a terrible cavern.
It's name is the darkness cavern!
Monsters are living in it.

Actually, Cavern of Darkness is a correct translation as well.
Here is the reason why this place is horrible. : P


As a chicken :
What's up, hen?

なんだい? エサでもほしいのかい?

What is it? Would you like some food?
More specifically here, it is food for animals.

Other mage to the right of the middle note :
Have you already seen the
Pool of the Ancients?

きおくの泉は もう見たかね?

Have you already saw the Sping of Memory?

It you say no :
The Pool lies beneath this
building. They say it speaks,
but only to a chosen few.

きおくの泉は この国のちかにある
古代の神々のこえを つたえるという
ふしぎな泉だよ

The spring of memory is under this country.
It is said to transmit the voice(s?) of the ancient gods.
It's a mysterious spring.


If you say yes :
An amazing sight, eh?

なんと! もう見られたのか
なんとも こうごうしかったじゃろう

What! You already saw it?
It must have been quite a divine sight.


As a chicken :
What in the world is a hen
doing here?! Shoo, shoo!

なんで こんなところに
ニワトリがいるんだ?
あっちに行け! しっし!

What is doing a chicken
in this place?
Go over there! Shisshi!


Both bookcases near those two mages
There are many books written
in strange languages.

・・・・・
むずかしそうなほんが ならんでいる

.....
There are seemingly difficult books here.


Left note in the right section of the magic school :
Experiment assistant wanted!
Low wages, high risk!

「じっけんのアシスタントぼしゅう!
ニワトリのすきな方 大かんげい!
 …じっけんバーサン」

"Recruiting assistants for experiments!
Persons that love chicken are greatly welcome!
...experimentating granny."

Mmmh.

Right note in the right section of the magic school :
Assistant wanted! Great
excitement guaranteed!

「じっけんのアシスタントぼしゅう!
しんぞうのつよい方 大かんげい!
 …しょうかんオジサン」

"Recruiting assistants for experiments!
Persons that are strong of heart are greatly welcome!
...summoning gramps"

Is it who I think it is?
I wonder if he's related to the granny?


Mage at the entrance of the library :
Ssssshhh!

うーん ふむふむ

Uun, fhmfhm.
Basically, the people here are so busy they don't notice you.
They don't even react differently to you if you are as a chicken.


*From the middle to the rigth*

First bookcase in the library :
Spark Level 4,
Basic Training for Mages,
and many more books.

「めざせ! スパーク・レベル4」
「まどうし・きそくんれん」
いろいろなほんが ならんでいる

"Aim toward it! Spark Level 4"
"Magicians basic training"
There are various books here.

"Mezase" means to look at something as a objective to reach.
Something like that.
That would make Spark Level 4 the objective to reach.


Second bookcase :
Blazing Made Easy,
Freezing Made Easy,
and many more books.

「よくわかるブレイズ」
「よくわかるフリーズ」
いろいろなほんが ならんでいる

"Well understanding/knowing Blaze"
"Well understanding/knowing Freeze"
There are various books here.


Third bookcase :
How to Make Domingo Eggs,
How to Hatch Domingo Eggs,
and many more books.

「ドミンゴタマゴのつくりかた」
「ドミンゴタマゴのそだてかた」
いろいろなほんが ならんでいる

"How to make a Domingo Egg(s?)"
"How to raise a Domingo Egg(s?) "
There are various books here.


Wizardess at the right of the library :
Sorry, no time. Got to study.

ほー ほー ためになるのお

Oh oh it becomes for that purpose.

Mage at the middle of the library :
Maybe later.

ふむふむ うーん ふむふむ

Phmphm uun phmphm.

Wizardess at the middle of the library :
Sssh. Go away!

うーん ふむふむ

Uun phmphm.

Mage at the middle of the library :
Pardon me, I'm in the middle
of a difficult passage here.

ふむ ふむふむ ふむふむふむ

Phm phmphm phmphmphm.

Wizardess at the left of the library :
Yes! It's all so clear now.

なーるほど なーるほど

That's riight, that's riight.

Mage in the room filled with devices :
Hello! Don't usually get
guests here. I'm thought to
be rather strange, you know.

おっ! こりゃビックリした!
おきゃくさんとは めずらしい!
気味悪がって だれも
このへやには ちかづかんからな

Oh! Hey you surprised me!
How unusual to have a visitor!
Because no one get
near this room, I (it?) feels bad.

Maybe he feels lonely.

As a chicken :
What's up, hen?

なんだい? エサでもほしいのかい?

What is it? Would you like some food?

If you talk to him again :
I have something for you.
It's inside that fake monster
over there. Go get it!
It's a Domingo egg. A very
useful item. Hatch it when
you get a chance!
Come back before you leave.
I may have some information
for you.

ゆうじょうの あかしとして
おまえに いいものをやろう
そのキカイを しらべてみるがいい
それから この国を出るまえに
また あそびにきてくれ
すこしは やくにたつはなしをしよう

As a token of our friendship,
I shall give a good thing to you.
It would be a good idea to search this device.
From there, before leaving this country,
come again to listen to me.
In a small while/later, I shall say something useful (to you).

He doesn't tell us as much about his gift here.

When you check the monster thing near him :
Max checks
the machine.

マックスは キカイをしらべた

Max searched the machine.

Max discovers a
Domingo Egg!

マックスは ドミンゴたまごを
見つけた!

Max discovered
a Domingo Egg!


****************************************************

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Wed Jul 01 2009 12:12am
by TheUnknownMarine
"Aim toward it! Spark Level 4"


First thing I thought of when I read that was that someone was referencing Gunbuster's "Aim for the top!" theme.

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Wed Jul 01 2009 12:32am
by Mew seeker
It's unrelated but I found where to change the Internet fonts to something more readable (spelling?).
So don't worry, I'll be fine now for this. ^^

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Wed Jul 01 2009 2:04am
by Flygon
It makes more sense it being called 'Well understanding/knowing Blaze' rather than 'Blazing Made Easy'.

Edit: The other NPC that says the priest's quote is Orant or however you spell it.

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Wed Jul 01 2009 11:18pm
by Martin III
Very interesting about the "experimentating granny" and "summoning gramps" signing off. The connection there surprised me.

The original script really seems to have given the guy who gives you the Domingo Egg a lot bigger part in Max's story, implying that Max didn't just drop in and grab the egg. I like that. On the other hand, telling about the Domingo Egg in the English script adds more to that puzzle.

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Sun Jul 05 2009 5:27pm
by Mew seeker
Sorry for the long wait.
I have covered a bit more of Manarina. ^^

Old man at the entrance of the second floor :
Where am I? Don't tell anyone
I got lost. I'm too old to
get lost.

ここはどこじゃ? うーむ
いいとしして まいごになったかの?

Where is it here? Uumh
Despite my age, did I got lost?

The implication being of course that it shouldn't happens
to someone of his age.


As a chicken :
What in the world is a hen
doing here?! Shoo, shoo!

なんで こんなところに
ニワトリがいるんだ?
あっちに行け! しっし!

What is doing a chicken
in this place?
Go over there! Shisshi!

You don't even know where you are and you tell us this? : P

Wizardress near the device in the second floor :
Welcome to my research room.
I change humans into animals.
Care to give it a try?

うしゃしゃ うしゃしゃ
このオババのけんきゅうしつに
よくぞ きた!
わしは にんげんをほかのどうぶつに
かえるけんきゅうを しとるんじゃ
ところがの…
さいきん じっけんのてつだいを
してくれる者がおらんで
ちと こまっていたんじゃ
おぬし てつだってはくれぬか?

Ushasha ushasha.
You did well to come
in this old woman laboratory!
I am doing research on changing
humans into others animals,
however...
Lately, since there aren't persons
that are coming to be experiment assistants,
I am a little worried.
Won't you be an assistant?

A bit more detailled here.
There are several possible translation that could be use instead of laboratory.
Basically, the word used is more or less
the room where you research on purpose the truth/reality.
Something like that.


If you say no :
No curiosity, eh? When I see
you next, I'll turn you into
a frog!

ならいいわい こんど会ったときは
おぬしを カエルにしてくれるわ!

It would be good in that case (?) that at the time we met next time
you will be changed into a frog!

Not 100% sure about the beginning.
It seems to be a everyday expression not found as it is on dictionnary
but the "ii" of "iiwai" means "good/good thing".


If you say yes :
Very good! Let's start right
away. Please stand over
there.

よしよし よくいった!
それでは あそこにたってもらうぞ

Good good that was well/well said!
She doesn't explain what will happen here. : P

She bring you in the device and say :
Now, let's begin.

それでは はじめるぞ!

Well, let's begin!

*You're changed into a chicken.*

Yes! Success! What a tasty
looking hen!

おお せいこうしたぞ!
なんと うまそうなニワトリじゃろう

Oh oh, it was successful!
That is a somewhat tasty looking chicken.


As a chicken :
If I can change humans to
hens, we won't ever have to
worry about food!

にんげんをニワトリにかえられれば
たべものにこまってとき
なにかと べんりじゃろ
ひっひっひ!

If humans can be (would be?) changed into chicken,
at time that food is a worry,
it shall be useful in one way or the other.
Heehheehee!

While being eaten is not mention, the "one way or the other"
make me think that it could be a possibility. ^^;
Her laughs at the end doesn't helps either. X D


Note near her :
This week- 6 hens.
2 rabbits, 3 cats.

「こんしゅうの せいか
ニワトリ6 うさぎ2
ネコ3 ヨーグルト0」

"This week results
chiken 6 rabbit 2
cat 3 yogurt 0"

Did they really had to remove this? X D

Centaur in the third floor :
My name is Arthur. I used to
be a knight. I'm not really a
battle type. I like it here.

おれはアーサー
これでもむかしは騎士だったんだが
どうも戦いにはむいていなくてな‥
いまはこの国にやっかいになっている
せんたくをすれば めしをくわせて
もらえるからな…ありがたいぜ

I am Arthur.
While it may not look like it, back then I was a knight but
somehow I am not inclined into fights..
Now I am being owing to this country.
Since they are giving me food
if I do the laundry... I am grateful.


As a chicken :
What's up, hen?

なんだい? エサでもほしいのかい?

What is it? Would you like some food?
Awww... isn't Arhtur a nice guy?

Wizard past Arthur :
This place is too busy! I
can't do my research!

ここは人のとおいが おおすぎる!
気がちって けんきゅうができん!
なに? ここにいるほうが悪い?
バカ者! ここはわしのへやだ!
ほかのヤツラが かってに
かいだんをつくったんだ!

Here there are far too many people bassing ny here!
I am not able to concentrate for study!
What? Being/staying here is bad?
Stupid person! It's my room here!
Others guys have builded (here)
arbitrarily a stair!

And that's why he's here anyway.
Manarina doesn't seem to always be the best place to live in. X D


As a chicken :
What in the world is a hen
doing here?! Shoo, shoo!

なんで こんなところに
ニワトリがいるんだ?
あっちに行け! しっし!

What is doing a chicken
in this place?
Go over there! Shisshi!


Bookcase in the floor under him:
Memories of Guardiana,
Introduction to Magic,
and many more books.

「ガーディアナのおもいで」
「まほうにゅうもんしょ」
どうやら アンリのほんらしい

"Memories of Guardiana"
"Magic primer/manual/introductory book"
Somehow, they seems to be Anri's books.

Did they had to remove that as well?

Mage at the top :
Great view, eh?

わしは ここからのけしきが
とても すきなんじゃ

I like a lot
the scenery from here.


If you talk to him after pushing him :
Drat! Not as good a view from
down here. Better climb back
up....

ううむ こんなところまで
おちてしまうとは…
わしは 上をめざすぞ!

Uumu, that I have fallen
up to this point...
I will aim for the top!

The same verb than that book,
"Aim toward it! Spark Level 4"


*He tries to climb back up, but fail.*
I'll make it someday!

うう… わしはあきらめんぞ!
いつか ふたたび
上にもどってみせる!

Uu... I won't give up!
Sometime (someday?) I'll show
that I will come back up here again.


Note near the guard :
Do not dump trash here!

「ここにゴミをすてるな!」

"Do not dump trash here!"
Hey, a super accurate translation!
Ok, I am a bit mean. X D


Guard:
Go away! only cute animals
can get past me!

とってもえらい まどうし様が
このへやには いらっしゃる!
なかには いれられん!
いくらがんばっても むだだぞ!
私がすきなのは かわいいどうぶつ
にんげんは大キライなんだ

The very great magician-sama
is being in this room!
You won't be let inside!
No matter how much you try, it's useless!
The thing that I like are cute animals.
I greatly dislike/hate humans.

More details again.

As a chicken :
Well, what a cute little hen.
Go on through!

こいつは かわいいニワトリだ ん?
なんだい おくに行きたいのかい?
いいとも いいとも さあ おとおり

This guy here is a cute chicken, hm?
What is it, would you like to go inside?
That's good, that's good. Well go through.


If you talk to him again :
What a nice hen! How could
someone eat a little hen?

うーん なんかい見てもかわいいな
こんなかわいいニワトリを
たべるヤツの 気がしれないよ

Uun, somehow (?), you look cute. (?)
I can not imagine a person eating
that cute chicken.

I'm not 100% sure about the first sentence.^^;

When you talk back afterward as a human :
A hen went in and a person
came out. What a great place
to work, huh?

え? あのニワトリのしょうたいは
あんただったのかい…
うまく へんそうしたもんだな…

Eh? Was that chicken
true form you... ?
That was a good disguise...


Bookcase after the guard :
Mystery of the Shining Path,
All About the Shining Path,
and many more books.

「光の道のなぞ」
「旅する神々・光の道のすべて」
いろいろなほんが ならんでいる

"Mystery of the light path"
"Travelling gods - All about the light path"
There are various books here.

The word "light" instead of "Shining" is used.

Note after the guard :
VIP Mage's Lounge

とてもエライまどうしのへや

Very great magician room.
Different name, same meaning.
They probably didn't have enough room for the name.

Bookcase in the VIP mage's lounge :
The History of Shade Abbey,
Shade Abbey and Guardiana,
and many more books.

「シェード教会のれきし」
「シェード教会とガーディアナ」
いろいろなほんが ならんでいる

"Shade church history"
"Shade church and Guardiana"
There are various books here.


VIP mage, as a chicken :
Old Gert turned you into a
hen? That's easily fixed!

ほっほっほ おぬし あのバーサンの
じっけんだいに されたな
まずは もとにもどしてやろう

Hohhohho you were changed
in that granny laboratory.
First of all let's return you to your original (form).

The granny instead have a name in the U.S. version.
It reminds me of Super Mario World where the castle are named
after the bosses in the U.S. version
but are named after the land they are in the Japanese version.


*You turn back to normal.*

VIP mage :
You did well to reach this
room. Have you ever heard of
a place called Shade Abbey?

ここまでくるとは なかなかやるな
ところで おぬし シェードという
教会を しっているか?

That you went as far as here was quite something.
By the way, do you know
of the church called Shade?


If you say yes :
You young people think you
know everything!

さいきんはものしりが おおいのお
つまらん よのなかになったもんじゃ

Lately, there are many well informed persons. (?)
It became boring in this world.(?)

I'm not 100% sure.
But I think that, by saying yes, we're spoiling his fun
and that it's becoming more common with time.


If you say no :
It was founded long ago by
folk from Guardiana. They
know much of the Ancients.

その教会は たいへん大きく
ガーディアナ王の ちをひく者が
だいだい 神父をつとめている
古代の神々について どこよりも
くわしい ちしきをつたえるそうな

That church is terribly great.
People who flew away from/left the Guardiana king's land
are working/serving (this place) as priests generation after generation.
Accurate knowledge from everywhere (?)
about the ancient gods was appparently transmited.

Ok, in cases like this, I would really like to know more Japanese! >-<
And I also feel more lenient toward the translators in those cases. X D
Anyway, let me remind you that it might not be fully accurate, maybe even off.
If "chi" was written as a kanji, my job would have been easier.
The two most likely meaning are blood (which also mean blood relation/family) and land.
But looking at the verb "hiku", my guess is "land" here.
"hiku" means, among a few things to pull and also to run away.
But running away didn't make that much sense so my guess was the meaning "leaving".
Also, I'm not sure how to translate "dokoyori".
"Doko" can mean among a few things "somewhere"
and "yori" can mean among a few things "from".
I used "anywhere" here to translate the word.


*********************************************************

And for next time, the meeting with princess Anri. ^^

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Sun Jul 05 2009 6:46pm
by Rick
Manarina is QUITE different in terms of it's speech then...

Also, was Bolt known as Spark in the Japanese games?

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Sun Jul 05 2009 10:54pm
by TheUnknownMarine
I will aim for the top!


That's a direct quote.

I KNEW it! Gunbuster, aim for the top!

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Mon Jul 06 2009 2:09am
by Flygon
Yep, the chicken sequence definitely had better text. ;)

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Mon Jul 06 2009 7:49am
by Earl
Mew seeker @ Sun Jul 05, 2009 12:27 pm) wrote: It would be good in that case (?) that at the time we met next time
you will be changed into a frog!
Not 100% sure about the beginning.
It seems to be a everyday expression not found as it is on dictionary
but the "ii" of "iiwai" means "good/good thing".

I'm clueless about Japanese, but this sounds like angrily yelling "Fine!" would work in English.

As in "Well, fine! Next time we meet, I'll change you into a frog!"

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Tue Jul 07 2009 12:58am
by Mew seeker
>>>>>That's a direct quote.
>>>>>I KNEW it! Gunbuster, aim for the top!

Humm, I highly doubt it. :(
Before it get confirmed, more research will have to be done.

Anyway, here is today spot and it's interesting. ^^


Woman in purple with white hair
near the entrance of the magic school,
as a chicken :
Old Gert's up to her usual
tricks. Someone here should
be able to change you back.

ふふふ…
また おばばのイタズラね

Fufufu...
It's another prank from that old woman huh.

It doesn't looks like it's the first time. X D

As normal :
Yes, I am Anri. What? What
about Guardiana, and my
father? Who are you?
I don't have to listen to this
nonsense from someone I don't
even know. Go away now!

はい 私がガーディアナ王のむすめ
アンリです…
なんですって…!
ガーディアナがほろぼされ
宝がうばわれたと いうのですか!?
そんなこと しんじられません!
だいたい あなたはだれなの?
ガーディアナ人じゃないでしょ?

Yes, I am the daughter of Guardiana's king
Anri...
What are you saying... !
Are you saying that, Guardiana
being destroyed, the treasure have been robbed!?
I am not believing that!
In the first place, who are you?
You are probably not from Guardiana? (?)

I am not 100% about the last sentence.
Anri really go through a "Who the hell are you?!" phase. X D


Nova appear and say :
Wait, Princess Anri! Please
listen to Max!

おまちください アンリ様!
どうか おききください!

Please wait Anri-sama!
Please somehow listen!

Being a fan of the tvtrope website,
I will say that Max is lucky that Nova pulled a "Big damn heroes". :p


Anri:
Nova!

あなたはノーバ!

You are Nova!

Nova:
This is Max. He is
leading the fight against the
Runefaust army.

この方はマックス殿といいます
我々のリーダーなって
ルーンファウストと戦っているのです

This person is called Max-dono.
Becoming our leader,
he is being fighting with/against Runefaust.


Anri:
But my father...the Sword of
Light...and Guardiana...is it
true, Nova?

…あの宝は 光の剣といって
ガーディアナ国の しめいにかかわる
だいじなものだと ききましたが‥

... that treasure, the sword of light,
I have heard of it as a/the important thing
connected to the mission of the country of Guardiana but..

For anyone that wanted a clear confirmation,
Guardiana treasure was the Sword of Light.


Nova:
Yes, your majesty, it is all
true, I'm afraid.

光の剣…あの でんせつの剣が
ガーディアナの宝だったとは…

The sword of light... That legendary sword,
that it have been Guardiana's treasure...

Nova didn't finished the sentence but he had the time to imply
that the Sword of Light was lost.


Anri:
I...I need to be alone for a
while....

それで 父上…
国王は どうなったのです?

And then father...
What happened to the king?

Anri doesn't crumble yet.
Notice how she say "father" before saying "the king".


Nova:
We understand, your majesty.
But do not let your grief
overwhelm you....

…じつは 国王もバリオス様も…

...the truth is the king and Varios-sama too...

Anri:
I...I must be alone now....

そ そんな…

Th, that...
That's it, Anri can't take anymore.

Anri leave, pushing Max out of the way,
then Nova go to him and say :
Max, Princess Anri is
in great sorrow. Please
go to her and talk to her.
Remind her of her duty to
Guardiana. Our people need
her now.

マックス殿 アンリ様は
かなしんでおられます
どうか マックス殿の力で
はげましてあげてください
私は ほんじんにもどっています
よいしらせを まっていますぞ

Max-dono, Anri-sama
is being sad.
Please somehow by your assistance
please cheer her up. (?)
I am coming back to the headquarters.
I'll be waiting for good news.

I'm not sure if it's the best way to word the sentence in the middle.
The Japanese litterally say something like :
"Please give her cheering".
Is it just me or U.S. Nova sounds a little bit more heartless?


*Then Nova leave.*

Woman in the room behind Anri :
The only sane person in this
land is Otrant. Everyone else
is really weird!

この国でまともなのは
オトラント様だけですよ!
ほかの人たちときたら
…とにかくヘンなんですよ!

In this country about being serious,
there is only Otrant-sama!
As for the others
...in any case they're weird!

I like the pause before the last sentence in the Japanese version. : P

As a chicken :
Seeing you makes me hungry. I
wonder what's for dinner?

あ! うまそうなニワトリ!

Ah! A delicious looking chicken!

Red mage in the same room :
I am Otrant. You wish to find
the key to the Accursed Door
before Kane of Runefaust?

いかにも わしがオトラントである
ガーディアナの戦士をまとめ
戦っているというのは そなたか?
なに? ルーンファウストが
古えのもんを あけるため
ふういんのカギを さがしていると?
それを ヤツらよりさきに見つけ
しょぶんしたいと…
そういうのか?

Indeed, I am Otrant.
The gathering of the Guardiana warriors
said to be fighting, it is you?
What? You are saying that Runefaust
in order to open the ancient gate
is searching the seal key?
That you would like to take care of
discovering it before those people...
Is that what you are saying?


If you say no :
Then I cannot help you.

ならばいい…
こちらからも はなすことはない

If that's the case it's fine...
I have nothing to say.


If you talk to him afterward :
Do you want to find the key to
the Accursed Door before the
Runefaust army finds it?

ルーンファウストよりもはやく
ふういんのカギを見つけたい‥
それが そなたののぞみなのか?

Wanting to discover the seal key
faster than Runefaust..
Is that your wish?

Yes, I know that more often than not,
the translation wording come out akward. X D


If you say yes :
A legend tells that the Pool
of the Ancients below is tied
in with the Accursed Door.
To reach the pool, you first
need the Orb of Light from the
Cavern of Darkness.
Defeat the monsters in the
cavern, and the orb is yours.
Then return to me.
Max! Enter the cavern
and retrieve the Orb of Light!

ふういんのカギのありかは
わしも しらぬ…だが
この国のちかにある きおくの泉が
神々のふういんと かかわりがある
…という いいつたえがある
ただし きおくの泉に行くには
ちかの あんこくどうくつにある
かがやきのたまが ひつようなのだ
マックスよ!
あんこくどうくつに はいり
かがやきのたまを とってくるのだ

The location of the seal key
is unknow to me either... but
the spring of memory that is in this country's land,
there is a connection with ( it and ) the seal of the gods
... say the legend.
However, in order to go to the spring of memory,
the brilliant orb that is under
the darkness cavern is necessary.
Max!
By entering the darkness cavern,
obtain the brilliant orb.

Actually, "Shining Orb" might have been closer or at least sounded cooler
but considering the game is named "Shining Force",
it's probably better to not use the word "Shining" carelessly in the translation.
So I went with "brilliant", in the "lot of light" sense,
not the "super smart" one. : P
"dama" can be translated as "ball", "sphere" and thing like that.
"Jewel" is another possibility. I went with "orb".
Oh and for the fans of Dragon Ball, if you know the "genki dama" attack,
I believe it's the same "dama" used there.
At the end, "tottekuru" (litterally "come to get" is translated as "fetch"
by my translation program but I went instead with "obtain".


As a chicken :
Next time, don't volunteer
for experiments!

ふはははは!
ざんねんだが 私には
もとにもどすことは できんぞ

Fuhahahaha!
This is deplorable but I
am not able to return you to your original form.


Bookshelf in Otrant's room :
The Pool of the Ancients,
Encyclopedia of Magic,
and many more books.

「きおくの泉・そのしくみ」
「まほうひゃっかじてん」

"The spring of memory - its structure"
"Magic encyclopedia"

I need to doublecheck
but it looks like this is all the books Otrant have.
That being said, an encyclopedia can be made of lot, lot of books.


Wizardess after Otrant's room, at first :
You are not ready for the
Cavern of Darkness. You may
not pass.

このしたにある どうくつは
やみのせかいに つながっている
とおすことはできんの…

The cavern that is under here
is being connected to a dark world.
I cannot let you pass...


After you have said yes to Otrant, she will instead say :
The Cavern of Darkness lies
beyond. Only the strongest
survive its trials!

このどうくつに いどもうというのか
まあよい やってみなされ

Are you saying that you shall challenge this cavern?
In that case it's fine, give it a try.


*She then step aside.*

If you talk to her again :
I don't know if I will ever
see you alive again! Good
luck!

ふふふ このどうくつにいどみ
生きてかえることが できるかな?

Fufufu by challenging this cavern,
will you be able to come back alive?

The laugh doesn't help to make us feel better. X D

As a chicken :
What in the world is a hen
doing here?! Shoo, shoo!

なんで こんなところに
ニワトリがいるんだ?
あっちに行け! しっし!

What is doing a chicken
in this place?
Go over there! Shisshi!


Anri, near Arthur, as a chicken :
Oh, Max. It's nice
of you to try to cheer me up.
But I'm not fond of hens.

マックスさん あなたですね
おどけて なぐさめてくれるのは
うれしいのですが…
私 ニワトリはあまり…

Max-san, it is you huh.
I am happy that you are giving me
confort by doing a joke/funny things but...
Of chickens I am not much...

Litterally "I chicken not much..."
The sentence is incomplete.


As normal :
I know my duty now,
Max. It is to hunt
Kane down and make him
pay for what he did.
I'll fight with you.
I'm sure that's what my
father would want me to do.

さっきは ごめんなさい…
いきなり あんなはなしをきいて
とても おどろいてしまって…
もうへいきです オトラント様から
ルーンファウストのことは
きいていました
私も戦います 父上もそれを
のぞまれていると おもいます

Sorry for earlier...
Suddenly, when I have heard what you have said,
I was very surprised...
I am more calm (now). I have heard
about Runefaust
from Otrant-sama.
I'll fight too. I believe
that father too would be wishing that.

Poor Kane, everyone hates hime in the U.S. version.
More seriously, the first half of the text was changed.


(Anri joins the
Shining force!)

「アンリが なかまになった!」

"Anri became a companion!"

I'll be at headquarters.
Vengeance shall be ours!

私は ほんじんでたいきしています
がんばって戦いましょうね

I'll be on standby at the headquarters.
Let's fight withouth giving up.

Anri doesn't speak of vengeance in the Japanese version.

Battle 6 - Cavern of Darkness

Nova:
Behold the dreaded Cavern of
Darkness! You must defeat the
monsters to gain the orb!

ここがマナリナのあんこくどうくつ!
この国のまどうしたちによって
かいぶつどもが ふうじられたばしょ
ムムム 恐ろしいようきがします
しかし なんとしても
かがやきのたまを てにいれるのです

Here is Manarina darkness cavern!
The place where the monster-domo are being sealed
by the magicians of this country.
Mumumu it have a dreadful-like atmosphere
but in any case/no matter what
the brilliant orb must be obtained.

This is not a place for vacation. : P
I wonder if the Manarina mage get their monsters here?
You know, like some kind of "monster fridge"? : P


When you defeat the skeleton, he will say :
No! It cannot be! After all
these centuries....

グ グオォォォーッ!!
た 宝が…

G, Gwooohhh!!
Th, the treasure is...

I don't know why they changed this.

Nova:
Max, the Orb of Light
must be within that chest.
Take it quickly!

マックス殿 敵はすべて
うちたおしましたぞ!
さあ はやく かがやきのたまを!

Max-dono the enemies have
been completely defeated!
Well, quickly, the brilliant orb!

Nova doesn't finish the last sentence
but the orb is marked as the direct object
of the non-said verb (possibly something like "get")
at the end of the sentence.
Possibly an implied meaning of "What are you waiting for?"
I guess Nova don't like staying here. : P


*********************************************************

Well, that's it for today.
For the next update, something really, REALLY cool. :)

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Tue Jul 07 2009 2:07am
by Martin III
Very interesting. I see that the Japanese script makes clear that Arthur is not a native to Manarina. Some fans had already guessed that, I think, but it's nice to have it explicit.

The changes they made to the first confrontation with Anri are pretty drastic, and really unnecessary from what I can see. The conversation goes at a much more realistic pace in the original.

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Tue Jul 07 2009 2:31am
by whiterose
I just love it when things are butchered. >_>

This is awesome that you are translating SF1, Mew seeker. It's great being able to read the script as it was originally meant.

Keep it up! :)

Oh... and uh... you wouldn't to happen to want to do this very same thing for Shining Force 2 sometime, would you? *twiddles thumbs*

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Thu Jul 09 2009 2:24am
by Mew seeker
>>>>>>>> The conversation goes at a much more realistic pace in the original.

Anri telling twice she want to be alone in the U.S. version
probably didn't help. : P
You know, sometime I wonder how much of an impact the translation will have.
I wonder if it will affect a lot of fan stuff?

>>>>>Oh... and uh... you wouldn't to happen to want to do this
>>>>>very same thing for Shining Force 2 sometime, would you? *twiddles thumbs*

I have yet to play Shining Force 2. X D
And before I attempt a translation, I need to have a script ready.
For Shining Force, I used the one in this website,
double checked it, remade it in a text file and then got the Japanese text.
It partly depends of how complete an existing script is.
It's more likely I would make one for Shining in the Darkness
but from what I have seen quickly, that script doesn't have those special lines
that happens like "I would have talked to Max but he is dead"
or the one you get when you finish the game without saving the princess.

If I did another translation it's more likely I do one
from the holy trinity of Soul Blazer/Illusion of Gaia/Terranigma
or maybe Megaman 7, EVO the quest for Eden
Kirby Super Star or maybe Tecmo's Secret of the Stars.

And even if I did another translation, those take time and energy.
It's not likely that I do another right away.
In any case, I will first finish this one.

Anyway, I did say that there would be something cool.
Now is the time to deliver, finishing the town of Manarina. :)

Back at Manarina :

Wizardess near the cavern of Darkness :
You're back! And you have the
Orb of Light! Tell Otrant,
quickly.

かがやきのたまを てにいれたと!
まずは オトラント様にほうこくじゃ

"The brilliant orb was obtained!" (?)
First, report to Otrant-sama.

I'm not sure how to interpret the "to" at the end of the first line.
Does it mean she is quoting us back?


Woman in Otrant's room :
Show the Orb of Light to
Otrant. He'll know what you
should do with it.

オトラント様が
おはなししたいことがあると
おっしゃってます

If there is something you would like to tell,
talk to (?)
Otrant-sama.

Once again, the "to" give me trouble.
Maybe another possibility would be :
"If there is something you would like to tell to Otrant,
talk with him/do so."?
It's more or less the same. ^^;


Otrant:
Use the orb at the pool
behind the secret door below!

おお! それこそ かがやきのたま!
ついに てにいれたのだな!
ならば ちかの大とびらのさきにある
泉のもとで それをつかうのだ

Oh oh! This is the brilliant orb for sure!
Finally you obtained it!
In that case use it at the source of the spring
which is past the underground great door.


When you use the Orb of Ligth at the spring,
a person in white appear and say :
How long I have waited for
this summons! Max,
you are a hero without peer!
The Legacy of the Ancients is
an evil being that has been
sealed away for 1,000 years.
Darksol now searches for the
key to unlock that seal.
You must stop him!

マックス…
あなたを まっていました
いまからいうことを よくきくのです
あなたたちが 神々とよぶのは
はるかむかし このちにくらしていた
古代人のことです
神々のいさんが 恐ろしいものだと
いわれていますが それもまちがい
それは 古代人のブンメイのことです
しかし そこにふういんされたものは
たいへん 恐ろしいものなのです
いま ある者が 悪しき心をもって
そのふういんを とこうとしています
マックス あなたは
それを とめなければならないのです

Max...
I have been waiting for you.
Listen well to what will be said from now on.
What you (plural) are calling the gods
are the ancients people who have lived
in this land long ago.
The legacy of the gods is being said to be
a dreadful thing but that is wrong/a mistake too.
That is (the legacy?) the ancients's civilisation. (?)
However, the thing that was sealed there
is a terribly dreadful thing.
Now, there are persons possessing evil hearts
that are about/trying to dissolve that seal.
Max you
must not allow that. (litterally "not being stopping that (must) not be).

About the middle line, I'm not 100% sure if I put the pieces right.
Anyway, the big scoop is that the "gods" are not gods
but people that existed in the past.
And their legacy is nt that big scary thing that everyone talk about.
Instead, it's their civilisation.
But the big scary thing is there and bad people want to free it.
Actually, there could be only one person with an evil heart that seek to do it
but given the context, I highly dout it.
While Dark Sol is not mentioned, the description does fit him.
Probably that with time, people confounded the legacy of the gods
with the thing that was sealed, probably because of a lack of info
distorted by time and so on.


*Then, the person dissappear.*

Wizardess near the cavern of Darkness :
The spirit of the pool spoke
to you? Go tell Otrant all
that was said!

きおくの泉から はなしはきいたな?
オトラント様に ほうこくされよ

You have listened the words from the spring of memory?
It must be reported to Otrant-sama.

Otrant is the "important stuff guy" here. : P

Otrant:
The Orb of Light has chosen
you, Max, to battle the
evil that threatens Rune.
You are truly the servants
of the Powers of Light,
the Shining Force!
Cross the sea from Rindo and
go to the Eastern Continent.
You must stop Kane!

マックスよ よくきくのだ
かがやきのたまは だれにでも
てにできる というものではない
それは しかくをもつ者
…泉にえらばれた者だけなのだ
…そうだ
そなたたちの軍に 名まえをおくろう
光の力をつかさどる者たち…
…シャイニング・フォース!
…マックスよ
リンドリンドから うみをわたり
ひがしの大りくに行くがいい
そこには 古代人のしそんが
くらしていると きいている

Max, listen well.
The brilliant orb is not a thing
that is said to be able to fall into the hands of anybody.
...only the people/person chosen by the spring.
...it is so.
I shall confer to your (plural) force/army the name
of the people ruling the power of light...
... Shining Force!
...Max.
From Rindorindo it would be good
that you cross the see to go to the east continent.
It is heard that the ancient people's
descendants are being living there.

Looks like Otrant is thinking a lot.
Maybe he did think a lot as soon as we talked with him.
And he did come to a decision.
Here is the first mention of the Shining Force.
The reason we need to cross the sea is not to go after Kain
but to find the descendant of the gods/ancient people.


Woman in Otrant's room :
Now all shall know you as the
Shining Force!

オトラント様に しょうごうを
いただいたんですって!?
なんて すばらしいんでしょう!

That you received
a title from Otrant-sama!?
How amazing it must be!


Mage in front of the magic school :
Otrant is the wisest among
us. Follow his advice.

オトラント様から 軍の名まえを
さずかったのですか
ほう それで なんというです?
…シャイニング・フォース
…うむ いい名まえだ
りっぱに 戦ってください!

You were awarded from Otrant-sama
an army/force name?
Well, what it is called?
...Shining Force.
... umu it's a good name.
Please go fighting splendidly!


Mage to the right of the middle note :
You spoke with the spirit of
the pool? I thought that was
only a legend!

きおくの泉で こえをきいたと?
ふむ でんせつは まことだったのか

You're saying you have heard the voice of the spring of memory?
Fumu the legend was true?

He seems to have doubts.

Other mage to the right of the middle note :
You made it through the
cavern? No one has ever done
that before!

なんと! あんこくどうくつにはいり
ぶじに かえってきたのか!
さすがは シャイニング・フォース!

What! Entering the darkness cavern,
you came back safely!
Well done/as expected(?) Shining Force!

"sasuga" can be translated as both meaning and possibly otheras well.
Given that the person was surprised we came back (booh),
I would go for "Well done".


Wizard in the machine room :
To cross the sea, take a ship
at Rindo.
Goodbye, Max!
Perhaps we'll meet again!

ん? ひがしの大りくに行きたいのか
…ふねでうみをわたるしかないな
リンドリンドなら てにはいるだろう
おれがしっているのは これくらいだ
がんばって戦えよ…
シャイニング・フォース!

Hmm? You wish to go to the east continent?
It is not possible to cross the sea excepted by ship.
You should obtain one should (you go to) Rindorindo.
I know that much/to that amount.
Persevere in your battles...
Shining Force!


Arthur :
I want to fight again. I can
help you against Runefaust.
I'm coming with you!

さっき きいたんだ あんたたちが
ルーンファウストと戦っていると…
おれも もういちどだけ…
…じぶんの力をためしたくなってな
戦場であしでまといになったら
見すててくれても かまわん
だから つれて行ってくれ!

A while ago I have heard that you guys
are fighting against Runefaust...
I too just one more time...
... I wish to test my own strenght.
Should I become a burden on the battlefield,
I don't mind if you come to abandon me/leave me behind.
So I'll come along!


(Arthur joins the
Shining Force!)

「アーサーが なかまになった!」

"Arthur became a companion!"

I'll be at headquarters. Call
me when you're ready to go
into battle!

おれは ほんじんでたいきしている
戦いに行くなら すぐにでもこえを
かけてくれ たのんだぜ!

I'll be on standby in the headquarters.
If I have to go to battle, ask
and I'll come running to the voice immediately. (?)

I'm not sure about the two last lines
but it's more or less this idea he'll come if we need him.


VIP mage:
Sorry. No time, no time!

・・・・・

.....
Maybe he feel he doesn't have anything more to teach us? : P

*************************************************************

That's it for today. ^^

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Thu Jul 09 2009 8:21am
by Flygon
Good to know Aurthur actually has a reason to join you.

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Thu Jul 16 2009 9:23pm
by Mew seeker
Sorry for the late update. ^^;
It's not much but it's there. ^^;

*****************
Back at Rindo
*****************

Old man at port near the ship :
The answer is still "No!"
That's the mayor's ship. Go
talk to him if you like.

あのふねなら うれないよ
この国のぎちょうのいえに
代々つたわる ふねじゃからな
どうしても というなら
きちょうに そうだんしてみなされ

If it's about this ship, it cannot be sold.
It's because it was transmitted from generation to generation
in this country chairman family.
In any case, if it's like that (?),
try to consult the chairman.

I'm not sure about the fourth line.
Maybe "In any case, if you want to talk about that" ?


Guy near the circus:
Sorry, the circus people said
to let no one in yet.

おっと サーカスには はいれないぜ
じゅんびができるまで
だれもいれないように
たのまれたんだ

Oh, you cannot enter in the circus..
it seem that it was requested
that no one enter
until the preparations are done.


Old man at the bar:
Shade Abbey...it has some
connection to Guardiana, but
I can't think of it....

そうそう‥わすれておった
シェードにいる神父は
ガーディアナの ちをひくそうじゃ

Yes, yes.. it was forgotten.
The priest/father in Shade
apparently left (from?) the land of Guardiana.


First girl between the theater and the bar :
The tent is up, but when will
the circus start?

りっぱなテントができたというのに
サーカスが ちっともはじまらないの
なにか あったのかしら?

Despite being said to have a splendid tent,
the circus won't start soon.
I wonder if there was something?

As in "Did something happened?"

Second girl between the theater and the bar :
Did you meet Princess Anri?
Isn't she wonderful?

アンリ様には会われた?
アンリ様は みぶんを気にせずに
私たちと おはなししてくれる
すばらしい方でわ

Did you met Anri-sama?
Not minding about social status, Anri-sama
came to talk with us.
She's a wonderful person.

And that's why Anri is wondeful. ^^

********************************************************

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Thu Jul 16 2009 9:57pm
by Rick
I'm really looking forward to what will happen at Shade Abbey :)

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Fri Jul 17 2009 11:54pm
by Martin III
Mew seeker @ Thu Jul 16, 2009 9:23 pm) wrote: Yes, yes.. it was forgotten.
The priest/father in Shade
apparently left (from?) the land of Guardiana.

Is he saying that the priest of Shade Abby is originally from Guardiana?

Hey, very interesting little bit about Anri. I'll have to keep that tidbit in mind for the next time she works her way into my fan fiction... Prior to this, I'd have seen no reason not to portray her as fairly aloof from the common folk.

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Wed Aug 19 2009 10:39pm
by TheUnknownMarine
Someone check this thread's pulse, it looks to be dropping rapidly.

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Fri Aug 21 2009 12:38am
by Mew seeker
Here is today small update.
But first of all, sorry for the long inactivity period. ^^;;;
I don't really have any excuse for it,
except maybe to some extend to put more hours for sleeping. ^^;
I remember, when making Japanese scripts,
there was several times like these where there wasn't any work. :\
But during that inactivity, I didn't forget about this translation
and I brougth this update.
Feel free to message me if I get late again. X D

>>>>>Is he saying that the priest of Shade Abby is originally from Guardiana?

Yes. If not that specidic priest,
then it the lineage of priests from Guardiana
as spoken somewhere earlier in the game.

Anyway, here is house of Rindorindo's chairman.

Woman in mayor's house :
My son is missing! Have you
seen him?

ああ神様! どうか うちの子どもが
ぶじでいますように!

Aahh God-sama! Please make it (?)
that our child is being safe!

Basically a prayer/request to God.

Man in mayor's house :
Please help us find our son.

どうか むすこを たすけてください

Please somehow help our (the?) son.

Mayor:
I have a favor to ask of you.
Grant it and the ship is all
yours! What do you say?

おお マックス殿! せんじつは
しつれいなことをいって
まことに もうしわけない
じつは たのみをきいてほしいのだ
きいてくれるなら ふねをかそう!
…きいてくれるかね?

Oh Max-dono! The other day,
the impolite thing said
was really inexcusable.
The truth is that I would like that you listen to my request.
Should you be listening to it, I shall lend the ship!
...will you be listening to it?

Notice how more polite the chairman suddenly is,
although he was using a polite tone as well the first time he was met.
Max-dono? He effectively wasn't that respectful to Max the first time.
And on top of that he even offer the ship.


If you say no :
Well, then, no ship. Please
leave.

ならば ふねはかせません…
おひきとりください

If it's the case then I won't lend the ship...
Please leave.

The U.S. version is very close here to the original.
He still maintains his politness despite recieving a no.


If you say yes :
My grandson is missing. If
you find him and bring him
back, my ship is yours.
So, Max, please
find my grandson!

そうですか きいてくれますか!
じつは 私のまごが
ここ すうじつかん 行方しれずに
なっているんです…
あんなことを いっておいて
こんな おねがいを するのは
気がひけるのですが…
マナリナでの はなしをかがい
あなたなら しんようできる
気がしたのです
おねがいします マックス殿!
まごを さがしてください!

Is it so, you will be listening!
The truth is, for the last few days
we don't know about my grandchild whereabouts...
About saying that thing (?)
to do such a request (?)
is feeling akward yet... (?)
Having heard (???) Manarina talk,
I have felt that if I could have faith in someone,
it would be you.
I beg you Max-dono!
Please search for my grandchild!

Litterally : "my grandchild
currently for the last few days of a not known whereabouts
became ..."
I am not 100% about the fourth to sixth lines.
He feel embarassed, maybe ashamed to having to ask this.
A possibility could be that he is out of option,
maybe even desperate to ask our help.
I am not sure either about the 7th line either.
Tecnically, I found the word "kagai" in yahoo's Japanese dictionary
but I didn't fouund a definition that fit.
After a google search looking how it was used in Japanese webpages,
I went for something like "having heard".
Still, it's something that I am not that sure of
and will need to be double checked eventually.


Guy near the circus, after accepting the mayor request :
The mayor's grandson? Yes, he
went in the tent and never
came out! That's strange.
I'll let you in to look for
him. Be careful. Some of
those people look dangerous.

えっ ぎちょうの子が?
…そういえば なんにちかまえ
サーカステントのそばで 見たきりだ
まさか あのサーカスのヤツらが‥
わかった しらべに行くのはいいが
気をつけて行くんだぞ

Eh, the chairman's son?
...if you mention it, a few days ago (?),
the last time I saw him was near the circus tent.
You don't mean those circus guys...
Understood, it would be best to go investigate but
be careful as you go.

About the second line, "nannichikamae" was another expression
I couldn't find in the yahoo dictionary
but it is definitively used in Japanese blogs.
"Nannichi" means "How many days/what days"
and "kamae" is made from the verb "kamaeru",
"to build/to make".
I went for "a few day days ago" but it needs to be double checked.
It looks like no one suspected the circus before.


*He then step out of the way*

When you talk to him again, he say :
Be careful in there!

気をつけて行くんだぞ!

Be careful as you go!

*****************************************************************

And for next update...
eventually! X D
Anyway, for next update will be the battle inside the circus. ^^

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Tue Aug 25 2009 2:02am
by Martin III
Mew seeker @ Fri Aug 21, 2009 12:38 am) wrote: ああ神様! どうか うちの子どもが
ぶじでいますように!

Aahh God-sama! Please make it (?)
that our child is being safe!
Basically a prayer/request to God.

Ah, I love seeing the uncut religious references from the games.

Eh, the chairman's son?
...if you mention it, a few days ago (?),
the last time I saw him was near the circus tent.
You don't mean those circus guys...
Understood, it would be best to go investigate but
be careful as you go.


It's subtle, but I like this much better than the official translation. When I talked to that guy, I raised my eyebrow a bit, wondering why he hadn't told anyone when the boy had so obviously been kidnapped. The original script makes it seem much more natural that the guy didn't realize there was anything suspicious going on until Max talked to him.

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Thu Aug 27 2009 12:34am
by Mew seeker
Today's update is short but I couldn't help and comment a lot. X D
Some interesting stuff is happening in the circus.
It's probably for making up getting butchered in there. ;P

Battle 7 - The circus :

Mishaela:
Well Max, remember
me? You'll soon wish you'd
taken my advice in Alterone!

ごきげんよう マックスさん
私を おわすれかしら?
アルタローンの うらないし…
ガーディアナの はいざんへいが
こんなところを うろつくなんて‥
なにをしようという おつもり?
ああ! なんてめざわりなんでしょう

How do you do Max-san.
I wonder if you have forgotten me?
The Altaron fortuneteller...
What is the remaining army
of Guardiana is doing loitering in this place..
What are you saying you are intending to do?
Aah! How unpleasant, isn't it.

The sixt sentence might not be 100% accurate
but it have the main idea.
In the last sentence, "mezawari" litterally means an eyesore,
something that is unpleasant to see, offend the view.
But I wasn't sure it would sound right so I just went with unpleasant.
Mishaela is polite but is less nice when she realize what you want to do.


Come, my pets! Look who's
come to play with you. Why,
it's the Shining Force!

ミシャエラドール! 私のぶんしんよ
そして かわいいにんぎょうたち!
つらく! くるしい!
もっとも ざんこくな しを!
マックスたちに あたえておあげ!

Mishaela Doll! My other self.
And the cute dolls.
Cruelly! Painfully!
A most atrocious death!
Give it to Max-tachi!

For "bunshin", I went with "other self".
According to yahoo Japanese dictionary,
"bunshin" means roughly a single body/substance dividing/splitting into two or more.
Also the produced separated body (of said process).
The word can be applied to a child, maybe one that is a lot like his parent?
Also, I can't help but think of the cloning jutsus in Naruto
and the last Oni boss in Shin Megami Tensei.
I think the final boss of "The Legend of Zelda : A link to the past"
use that term as well.
Anyway, as for that part, should I not be 100% accurate,
I shouldn't be too far off.
I wasn't sure if using "Max's group" would have sounded right
so I stayed with Max-tachi. ^^;
So, if one would have thougth going through the Japanese version
that Mishaela is a good girl, that quite a brutal wake-up! : P
I can't help but notice how the contrast
with Mishaela between here and chapter one is bigger compared to the U.S. version.


I leave you in good hands,
Max.
I have more vital matters
to attend to right now!

さよなら‥そして しぬのです
いつか しごのせかいで…

Goodbye.. And (after your?) death,
someday in the after death world...

Because dying here is just the beginning?! X D

*Mishaela dissapear*

When you win, the Marionette say :
Fools! Light will never defeat
the Darkness....

ギ ギギ…
ミシャエラ様…

Gi gigi...
Mishaela-sama...


A boy come out and say :
She...that evil woman...was
going to take me to Runefaust,
to feed me to a dragon!
Thank you! I'm going home and
I'm never leaving!

わーん こわかったよー!
うらないしのオネーサンに ここに
むりやり つれてこられたんだ
ぼくのたましいをダークソルに
ささげるって いってたんだ…
でも たすかってよかったー!
ありがとう おにいちゃん!
ぼく おうちに かえるね!!

Waan, it was scaryy!
The fortuneteller miss here
had bring me along forcibly.
She was saying something like she would offer/sacrifice
my soul to Dark Sol...
But thankfully you saved me!
Thank you mister-chan!
I'll return to my house!!

"chan" here denotes affection.
I could have went with "big bro" but it didn't sound right.
The little boy is grateful.
While it doesn't seem as right,
maybe "(Please) return to my house!!" could be considered as a translation.
Second time we hear of Dark Sol
and it doesn't get prettier.
For some reason, they replaced him with a dragon in the U.S. version.
Maybe they thought they talked too much about him before? : P


*********************************************************

That's it for today. ^^

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Thu Aug 27 2009 1:19am
by TheUnknownMarine
Excellent.

So it seems that Dark Sol had his own worshipers even back then. Interesting.

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Thu Aug 27 2009 7:00am
by Flygon
Heh, I guess the original translators decided that feeding the little boy to the Dark Dragon was waaaaay classier than sacrificing the soul to Dark Sol (Or however you spell it, Darksol's easier to type).

Personally, I'm inclined to agree. :shifty:

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Fri Sep 11 2009 10:18pm
by Mew seeker
>>>>>>>So it seems that Dark Sol had his own worshipers even back then.

The Cult of Dark Sol? I don't know. X D
The word "sasageru" have several meaning, whether it is making an offering,
raising something very high, devoting yourself to a cause,
dedicating a book or a prayer to someone, ...
That being said, given the context,
maybe Mishaela seems to considerate Dark Sol as someone important.
Yes, that Dark Sol would be worshipped at least by Mishaela doesn't seems too farfetched.
But with the little I know of Japanese, maybe it's better
to view this as a possibility for now?

>>>>>Dark Sol (Or however you spell it, Darksol's easier to type).

Was it Dark Sol or Darksol in the U.S.? X D
Anyway, it seemed more natural to me to write it Dark Sol
although it could be written Darksol as well.
Hopefully, I'll be consistant and won't switch back and forth
from Dark Sol to Darksol. X D

Anyway, here is today update :

Guy near the circus:
It's my fault. I should have
noticed he was in there too
long. Thank you, Max!

サーカスのヤツらに
あの子が さらわれていたとは…
気がつかなくて すまなかったな

That that child was kidnapped
by those circus guys...
Not noticing it was unforgivable.

Maybe "I am sorry to not having noticed it" would be closer?

Old man at port near the ship :
I'm sure the mayor is
grateful that you saved his
grandson. Go talk to him.

あんたが あの子をたすけた?
ならば ぎちょうにたのんでみなされ!
きっと ふねをかしてくれるでしょう

You have saved that child?
In that case do a request to the chairman!
Undoubtly he will be lending the ship.


Guntz:
Man, it's really hot. My back
is burning up. This is just
killing me!

ああ あついよお
せなかがあつくて しにそうだ!

Aah it hot, I tell you.
My back is about to die of heat!


Dr. Crock:
It's fixed! My steam suit
finally works! Show him,
Guntz. Walk over here.

きいてくれ おわかいの!
あのケチのぎちょうが
金を かしてくれたんじゃ
これでスチームスーツを
かんせいできるぞ!
いやあ めでたい! めでたい!
これガンツ! あるいてみるんじゃ!

A compromise/conciliation was heard!
That stingy chairman
has lent money.
The steamsuit here
can finally become complete/finished!
Eeyaa great! Great! (!)
Here Guntz! Try to walk! (!)

Basically, about the fisrt sentence,
Crock manage to have a deal/convince the chairman to lend him money.
"Medetai" can be translated as "Auspitious", "happy/joyous" and so on.
I went with "great" here.
The last sentence is the same than last time.


Guntz:
It still doesn't seem right.

こんど だいじょうぶなんですか?
ホントに うごくんですか?

Will it be ok now? (!)
Will it truly move?

Except for one character/letter, it's the same text than before.

Dr. Crock:
Silence! Just do as I ask!

バカ者!このクロック様を
しんようできんのか!
さっさと あるけ!

Idiot! You can't trust
this Crock-sama!?
Quickly, walk!


Guntz:
OK, OK!

…わかりましたよ

... understood.

*Guntz advance a few steps and then stop.*

Guntz:
It stopped! Not again!

う うごかなくなった…
ま まただよ…

It, it became immobile...
Ag, again...


Dr. Crock:
Oh, dear. Well, back to the
old drawing board.

あちゃー また しっぱいか!

Ochaah, is it another failure!
All the previous text was exactly the same.
Maybe it was done for making a comical effect. ^^


If you talk to Guntz again :
I don't care. Just please
finish it and let me out!

なんでもいいけど はやく
かんせいさせて ほしいよ…

Anything is being fine/ok but I would like it
to be completed quickly...

"Nandemo" can be translated as "anything/everything".
Maybe "whatever" or "I don't care" might be appropriate translation as well.
Look like it is a long while that Guntz is stuck in this situation. : P


If you talk to Dr. Crock again :
Oh, well. Just a little more
tinkering, that's all.

なあに しんぱいはいらんよ!
金さえあれば
つくるのは あっというまじゃ

What/oh (!), there is no worry, I tell you!
Even if there was/I had only this money,
the construction will be done in the blink of a eye.

"naani" is a variant of "nani" which means "what".
According to the Japanese yahoo dictionary,
assuming I understood well,
when recieving someone else speech/answer,
it is a slightly negative answer.
It include the feeling that it isn't a great/important thing.
Maybe "naaah" would convey this idea better? : P
Anyway, Crock is saying here that the failure is no big deal
and that everything will be fine even with only his current ressources.


****************************************************

For the next update, the theatre revisited. ^^

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Sat Sep 12 2009 12:59am
by Flygon
Guntz is so much more submissive in the Japanese edition. :shifty:

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Sat Sep 12 2009 3:31pm
by Doomblade66
I kind of stumbled upon a very interesting discovery that might be of interest to Mew Seeker and others who are having fun with this Translation Topic....

...I started playing Shining Force: The Ressurection of the Dark Dragon again, yesterday...just after having read (for the first time ever) this Thread on a translation of the original Japanese text/dialogue from Shining Force 1 (original).

What made me go "wait a second !" - in surprise...was that after reading some of the stuff they say in SF-RotDD ...it reminded me a LOT of the stuff Mew Seeker was translating here !

Why ? Because I think for the GBA remake, SEGA decided to use the original Japanese wording/phrasing for most of the scenes and not the stuff from the original game, which (as we see in this Thread) often ended up not conveying the same feeling that the original Japanese did !

A few examples from where I am at, currently * just defeated Marionette *

- The woman (mother) of the boy who is taken by the Circus goons says "Oh Gods, please save my son !" - which brings back the "God" reference/exclamation that Mew Seeker spotted in the original Japanese.

Also...Mishaela retains some of that nastiness at the start of her battle, telling her dolls to make the Force suffer "excruciatingly".

Then, when I killed the Marionette....remember that in the US-SF-1 version, he says "Fools ! The Light will never defeat the Darkness !" - then blows up.

Well, in SF-RotDD - he says, "...Grk...Grk...Grrrrk...Mishaela..." - then blows up.

This is almost exactly what Mew noted with the Giri...Giri...etc (appx) wording from the Japanese.


Then the kid comes out from behind the boxes:

Max: You... You're the Mayor's grandson ? So you were captured by Mishaela, after all !

Mayor's Grandson: "Waaah! The fortune-teller lady kidnapped me ! She said she'd take my soul and put it in a doll ! It's a good thing you came along ! Thanks a lot ! Now, I can go home and play !

* sort of close - interesting that here they imply she was going to take the KID's Soul and put it in a doll...like one of the ones you were just fighting...but no reference to DARK Sol... *

-----------

Man Outside Circus Tent: "To think those circus freaks took away that poor little kid... I feel awful... I had no idea !


* Here's Mew's version, of the Japanese *

That that child was kidnapped
by those circus guys...
Not noticing it was unforgivable.
Maybe "I am sorry to not having noticed it" would be closer?



I think you can see that they basically took the Japanese version and translated it into the SF-RotDD script for English. Pretty neat discovery, I felt !

----------------------

( a few more )

Old Man on Pier near Mayor's Boat: "You saved the Mayor's grandson ? In that case, you should ask him about his boat. I'm sure he'd lend it to you."

* Mew's Version *

You have saved that child?
In that case do a request to the chairman!
Undoubtly he will be lending the ship.



Guntz, in Crock's House (after the Circus Battle): "Argh ! It's hot ! My back's boiling ! It's killing me !"

* Mew's Version *

Aah its hot, I tell you.
My back is about to die of heat!




and, lastly for now:

Dr. Crock after talking to Guntz//After the Circus Battle: "Guess what !? That stingy chairman lent me the money to finish my research ! Now my Steam Suit is complete! A great day for science ! Time to test out my new invention !

Hey Guntz ! Try walking again !"


Guntz: "But, you haven't changed it that much !"

Dr. Crock: "Fool ! How dare you question the genius of the great Crock ? GET WALKING !"

Guntz: "All right, all right."

(tries walking, but then stops again after a few steps)

Guntz: "I... I can't move. It still doesn't work..."

Dr. Crock: "DARN it ! Not again."



* Mew's Version/Translation of the same scene *

Crock:

A compromise/conciliation was heard!
That stingy chairman
has lent money.
The steamsuit here
can finally become complete/finished!
Eeyaa great! Great! (!)
Here Guntz! Try to walk! (!)


Guntz:

Will it be ok now? (!)
Will it truly move?


Crock:

Idiot! You can't trust
this Crock-sama!?
Quickly, walk!


Guntz:

... understood.


Guntz:

It, it became immobile...
Ag, again...



Crock:

Ochaah, is it another failure!

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Fri Sep 18 2009 10:52pm
by Martin III
Interesting bits about how Mishaela is depicted in the original Japanese.

And yes, Doomblade, I recall someone saying a while back that aside from the additions, Resurrection of the Dark Dragon is actually a more accurate translation than the original.

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Sat Sep 19 2009 8:57pm
by Mew seeker
>>>>>>>>>>>Guntz is so much more submissive in the Japanese edition.

Does that means you will change your message board picture? :shifty:

>>>>>What made me go "wait a second !"
>>>>> - in surprise...was that after reading some of the stuff they say in SF-RotDD
>>>>> ...it reminded me a LOT of the stuff Mew Seeker was translating here !

>>>>>And yes, Doomblade, I recall someone saying a while back
>>>>>that aside from the additions, Resurrection of the Dark Dragon
>>>>>is actually a more accurate translation than the original.

I have already stated in the past that the GBA translation
was more faithful than the Genesis version.
Because of the time I have spent typing and double checking the Japanese script,
when I looked at the U.S. GBA text, I couldn't help but notice how it was similar.

Yet, I don't use the GBA translation as a reference when I am translating this text.
One o the reason is that some stuff was added,
like Max talking or the talk between Guntz and Lyle
(which make sense when you know what Lyle is saying).
And some things are just different. Like the bits with Domingo,
which I'll cover in a few chapters.

Today's update cover the second time in the theater. ^^

Man at the counter in the theater :
The play's about to begin.
See the Shining Force trounce
the Runefaust army!

さあさあ 見てらっしゃい!
ほんじつのだしものは…
ルーンファウストと…
シャイニング・フォースの
戦いのものがたり!
よそじゃ見られない 大はくりょく!
おきゃくさんも 見てくだろ?

Well well, you are looking to see!
Today's program is...
The battle story (monogatari)...
of Runefaust and
Shining Force!
You won't see such an intensity elsewhere!
Won't you come to be a guest too?

Most of the text is, if not the same, mostly the same.
And there's a good reason for that. ^^


If you say no :
Too bad. It's wonderful!

はー こんなオモシロいものを
見ないなんて あんた そんしたよ

Ha, if you don't go to see
this amusing thing, it's your loss.


If you say yes :
Go sit down. It's starting!

さあ そろそろはじめるよ
いいせきがあいてるから
そっちで見ておくれな

Well, it is starting soon.
Since there's a good empty place,
go have a look there.


Woman at the theater:
I always enjoy these plays.
"The Might of Light" should
be wonderful.

ここのしばいは いつもおもしろいの
とくに きょうのは さいこうね
「シャイニング・フォースの
大かつやく!」 って いうのよ

The play here is always interesting.
(Among) especially fun (thing), it is the best/highest.
"Shining Force's
Great Activity!" it is called.

It is intersting to note that in the Japanese version,
compared to the original bit sooner in the game
they had to cut the text a bit shorter here so it fit.
It happens in some parts of the text in the theater.
Also, it's nice to be now actually called Shining Force. ^^


Kid at the theater:
Go Shining Force!

ぼくはつよい人がすきさ! だから
シャイニング・フォースは大すきさ!

I like strong persons! Because of that,
I like Shining Force a lot!


"Rune Knight" :
This is the worst role. I
should have quit long ago.

ああ イヤなやくだなあ
やくしゃになんか
なるんじゃなかった

Ah what a bad luck/role.
I should not have become
an actor.

Once again I will remind that role and bad luck(luck?)
sounds the same in Japanese.


"Max" :
This is a great role. I wish
I could play this forever.

ああ ホントに いいやくだ!
いつまでも やっていたいよ

Ah, this is truly a great role!
I would like to have it forever.


When you take your place in the theater,
a man appear and say :
Thank you for waiting. The
show will now begin!

おまたせいたしました!
ただいまより おしばいが
はじまります!

You have been waiting!
From now on the play
is beginning!


"Max" and the "Rune Knight" appear. The "Rune Knight" say :
Please don't hurt me, Shining
Force. I'll change my ways,
you'll see.

うわあ シャイニング・フォースだ!
うひー もう悪いことはしませんから
どうか おゆるしください!

Uwaa, it's Shining Force!
Uhee, I won't do bad things anymore so
somehow please forgive me!


"Max" :
I don't believe you. You'll
work your evil again!

そうはいくか! また悪いことを
する気だろう!

Is it how it go! You must still have the intent
to do bad things!


"Rune Knight" :
Drat! How did you know?

ちくしょう バレてるのか!

Damn, I have been exposed!?

"Max" :
Take this!

かくごしろ!

Prepare yourself!

"Rune Knight" :
Aiiiieee! You've killed me!

シャイニング・フォースの
せいぎのこうげき!

Shining Force's
justice attack!

Once again, the text wiewed in the battles is mimicked.
It would have been awesome if there was actually
a justice attack (seigi no kougeki) in the game! X D
Well, if there is one in other Shining Force games,
think of this play. ^^


Pow! Bang! Smash!

メチャクチャすごいダメージを
あたえた!

Excessively amazing damage
was dealt!

Because of the "Justice attack" part added,
they had to put this text in a second window this time.


Clap! Clap! Clap!

パチパチパチ パチパチパチ

Clapclapclap clapclapclap!

The man come back and say :
Thank you and come again!

おたのしみ いただけましたか?
悪いルーンファウストをやっつける
シャイニング・フォースの大かつやく!

Did you find it enjoyable/fun?
The bad Runefaust being beaten up
by Shining Force Great Activity!


Clap! Clap! Clap!

パチパチパチ パチパチパチ

Clapclapclap clapclapclap!

We're looking forward to your
next visit.

それでは またのおこしを
おまちしております

With this, we will be waiting
for your next coming.


*****************************************************

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Sun Sep 20 2009 8:34am
by Flygon
I shall never change my board picture.

...

Bleu's portrait was taken.

Heh, I nearly forgot about the 2nd play, I saw it so many times I just forgot about it in future playthroughs I saw it so much. :shifty:

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Fri Oct 02 2009 2:07am
by Mew seeker
I don't know if it's because I slowed down or if it the text that get harder
but I seem to have more trouble translating the text lately. ^^;
Then again, I knew what happened on the ship
wouldn't be too easy to translate. X D

In any case, here is the rest of the text for the town of Rindorindo.

Woman in the mayor's house :
Thank you so much for saving
my son.

子どもを たすけていただいて
ほんとうに ありがとうございます

For having helped the child,
truly, thanks a lot.

"Arigatou gozaimasu", a big big thank you.

Man in the mayor's house :
Thank you, Max!

ありがとう ほんとうにありがとう

Thank you, really thank you.

Mayor:
Thank you so much,
Max. Take my ship.
It's all yours now!

まごを たすけてくれて
ほんとうに ありがとう
かんしゃのことばもない
この国にまで てを出してるとは
ルーンファウストめ…
とんでもない ヤツらだ
ふねは じゆうにつかってくれ
あなたたちの ぶじをいのっているよ

For saving the (my?) grandchild,
truly, thank you.
There are no words for my gratitude.
To extend (!) their hand as far as this country,
those Runefaust's guys...
Outrageous guys.
Please use the ship freely
I will be praying for your (plural) safety.

For the verb "dasu", there are many possible meaning.
They mostly/all center around the idea of coming out,
being revealed/manifested and things like that.
I went here with "extend".
"Tondemonai" can mean outrageous/offensive
but also unexpected/surprising.
Really, the chairman appreciate us a lot more.


Kid in the floor aboce the mayor room :
Thank you for saving me!

おにいちゃん たすけてくれて
どうもありがとう!

Mister, for saving me,
thanks a lot!

Once again, "oniichan".

Old man at port near the ship :
The mayor's ship is yours!

ぎちょうから おゆるしがでましたぞ
どうぞ えんりょせんで
ふねをつかってくだされ

The permission from the chairman came out.
By all means do not restrain yourself (???).
You are allowed to use the ship. (???)

The second sentence should mean something like this
but I haven't found a translation or explanation of "sende"
so I am not sure.
While I suspect this is some negative form of "suru" (to do),
I couldn't confirm it. ^^;
Third sentence should mean something like this.
"kudasare", when joined with another verb like here
means something like the action being done is a gift from someone of an higher statut.
The kanji used is the "down/under" kanji, 下.
So it's someone high that give something to someone below
and what's given go down.
Here, it's the capacity of using the ship
that is confered to the Shining Force.


When you board the ship, Nova appear and say :
This ship will do just fine.
Let's gather the Shining
Force and leave at once!

おめでとうございます マックス殿
このふねならば ひがしたいりくに
行くことも たやすいでしょう
みんなを よんでまいります
ふね出のしたくに かかりましょう

Congratulations Max-dono.
About (?) this ship, going with it
to the east continent should be easy.
I'll go calling everyone.
We shall begin the ship departure preparations. (?)

Maybe "With this ship" or "If we use this ship"
would be closer to what Nova is saying. ^^;
"Kakaru" is another verb with a lot of possible meaning.
While the one used for the translation make sense,
I am not 100% sure about it. ^^;;; .


He leave and then Mishaela appears, saying :
You defeated my pets, but you
won't bother me any more.
You're going to burn!

・・・・・
あなたを みくびっていたようね
ミシャエラドールをたおすとは…
あれは かわいい私のぶんしんだった
いま戦えば ケリはつくでしょう
しかし それでは あなたたちを
らくにするだけ…それはできない
いいわ…生かしておいてあげる
生きて じごくを味わうがいい
そして じごくのはてで会ったとき
あなたのいのちを いただきますわ
ほのおよ! ふねをもやしくすのだ

.....
It seems that I underestimated you huh.
That Mishaela doll was defeated...
That (thing) was my cute (me/self) other self.
If we fought now, things would end now/be settled
but because of that for you guys
it would only feel confortable/easy/good... That it isn't so/won't happen
is good... I will spare you. (?)
That you taste/experience hell as you live is good.
And at the time we will have met (?) at the end/extremity of hell
I will receive (take?) your life.
Flames! Go burn the ship. (?)

"I will spare you" seems a good translation
but because I couldn't find a satisfying explanation/translation of "oite"
for this sentence, I'm not sure if I got it right or not
or if I missed some nuance. ^^;
"we will have met" : the verb is in past mode but refer to a future time.
Yeah. X D
Then again, there is stuff like this in English (probably) and French. X D
I'm not sure if in the last sentense, I translated properly "kusu" either.
Anyway, did you thought that Mishaela did a bad job
of taking care of Max? That he got away so easily?
Well, the thing is, she didn't want
to take care of Max yet in the Japanese version.
She's really not happy and want Max (and the others?)
to pay big time for what happened
which makes me lead to this conclusion :
DON'T MESS WITH MISHAELA'S DOLLS!


*Flames appear around Max.*

Mishaela:
Burn, Max, Burn!
You'll serve as an example
to all who dare
oppose Runefaust.

はやく ふねを はなれることね
このふねは じきにしずむわ…
すでにじごくは はじまったのよ!
…ほほほほ
そんなに恐いかおをしないで…
うらみは つぎではらしましょう‥
つらい旅をつづけた そのはてに
私がとどめをさしてあげますわ

You are quickly leaving/being separated the ship. (?)
This ship is immediately sinking...
Already hell have started!
...hohohoho.
Do not make such a scared/anxious face...
Grudge by the following/what is coming shall be dispelled/cleared away..
In the end of that continued/prolonged? painful travel,
I will pierce/stab you the finishing blow.

I am not sure of the first sentence here either. ^^;
Mishaela state that so much bad stuff will happen
that we won't be angry/hateful anymore.
Probably because of despair and things like that.
Makes one wonder up to which extend she was involved
with what happened in the next chapters.
But the game don't really cover that
so it's something left up to the player I guess.


*More flames appears.*

Mishaela:
Good riddance, insect!

それでは ごきげんよう…

Well then, farewell...
More polite in the original.
And yet, maybe she is angrier as well.


*She dissapears*

Nova:
Max, run! The ship's
going down!

マックス殿 きけんでございます!
はやく おにげください!

Max-dono, you are in (?) danger!
Quickly, please run away!

Assuming in the first sentence that "de" is used
as a location particle, Nova here is stating
that Max is literally in (the middle of) trouble.
One thing to note here is the use of "gozaimasu",
which denote a super polite speech.
Nova never used it before (and the game didn't used it much either)
except when he say congratulations (omedetougozaimasu)
but I don't know if I should take it in account
as it might be part of an expression/a fixed group of word.
That being said, Nova also use
a polite "o" with the verb (please run away).
So what to make out of this?
While I am not an expert in Japanese,
I'll offer possible interpretations
until someone who know more about the language comes up.
Anyway, maybe that, as he comes back,
seeing Max being frozen on the now burning ship,
maybe that under the emotion,
he let out more of what he thinks of Max there than he normally do.
Also and more likely, he is scared that Max might go down with the ship
and is yelling at him (Nova don't go on the ship) to make him snap out of it.
Well, that's just my interpretation. ^^


*More flames appears. After you leave the ship, it sink.*

Old man at port near the ship :
This is bad! That was the
only ship in town. Maybe the
mayor can help you again.

あー ふねが もえちまうとは!
あんたたちも ついとらんねえ…

Ah, that the ship burn!
You guys (if?) just now didn't take it... (?)

I'm not sure about the last sentence but
I think what it means is something like :
"If you guys just took it..."


Mayor:
What? They burnt your
ship? Now we have no
single ship in this town!
The only other town with
ships is Uranbatol. But it's
a long way from here.
Are you still determined
to go?

なに? ふねがもやされた!
ううむ こまったことになったな
この国 もうふねはない…
我々国のほかに ふねのあるところは
ウランバートルしかない
だが ウランバーソルに行くには
はるか とおい 道のりを
こえて行かねばならない
それだけの けついが おありかな?

What? The ship was burned!
Uum this had become a problem/worring thing,
this country don't have ships anymore...
There is not place where there are ships other than
our country but/except Uranba-tol.
But going to Uranba-tol
is not possible if you don't go even more than (!)
a far, far way.
Is there that much determination (in you) ?

"far far" are two different Japanese word with that meaning.
Litterally : "to a far far way
you would not excessively go, it won't be".
You don't make it to the place in this chapter.
It's THAT far! :shifty:


If you say no :
Well then, stay here. You'll
be fine.

ならば この国でくらせばいい
みせのひとつも ひらけば
たべていけるだろう

In that case, if you live in this country it will be fine/ok.
If you open a shop/store,
you should be able to make a living.

The chairman doesn't even mind if we would start to live in this country.
He even suggest us what we could do here!


Then, if you talk to him again, he'll say :
Did you change your mind?

おや 気がかわったのか?
それでは もういちどたずねよう
我々国のほかに ふねのあるところは
ウランバートルしかない
だが ウランバーソルに行くには
はるか とおい 道のりを
こえて行かねばならない
それだけの けついが おありかな?

Oya, did you changed your mind?
In that case, let me ask you one more time.
There is not place where there are ships other than
our country but/except Uranba-tol.
But going to Uranba-tol
is not possible if you don't go even more than
a far, far way.
Is there that much determination (in you) ?


If you say yes :
Uranbatol is very remote.
It's far to the northeast.
Go to Shade Abbey first.
Ask my son all the details
about the journey.

ウランバートルは へんきょうの国
この リンドリンドの
はるか ほくとうにあります
まずは この国のきたにある
シェードの教会に行き
あんない人を やとうといいでしょう
旅についての くわしいことは
私のむすこに きいてください

Uranba-tol is a remote/frontier country.
It is far away to the northeast
of Rindorindo here.
First of all, going to the Shade church
being to the north of this country,
it would be good that you employ/hire (there) a guide.
About getting well informed on the trip,
please listen to my son.

According to the yahoo Japanese dictionary,
"Henkyou", a sector area far away from the center. National/state border."
In the game, Uranba-tol is really far and just next too the sea.
Getting a guide is recommended in the original.
As for it happening, well...


Mayor's son:
Head north to Shade Abbey.
You shouldn't have much
trouble finding it.

シェードの教会は この国からまっすぐ
きたに行ったところに あります
あそこで あんない人を やとえば
そのごの旅も あんしんです

The Shade church is in the place from this country
going directly/all the way to the north.
Should you hire a guide there
the trip afterward will be withouth worries.

According to the yahoo dictionary, "anshin"
the thing of being calm without having anything weighting on the heart/mind
and also that very situation/state.
Hence "withouth worries".
Is it just me or in the U.S. version, he sounds more
"Ah, no big deal, you'll find it on your own!"? : P


*******************************************

That's it for today.
In the next update, more interesting stuff. ^^

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Fri Oct 02 2009 3:09am
by Flygon
Mishaelia just got a lot more personality. :excited:

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Wed Oct 07 2009 12:54am
by Martin III
Mew seeker @ Fri Oct 02, 2009 2:07 am) wrote: The Shade church is in the place from this country
going directly/all the way to the north.
Should you hire a guide there
the trip afterward will be withouth worries.
According to the yahoo dictionary, "anshin"
the thing of being calm without having anything weighting on the heart/mind
and also that very situation/state.
Hence "withouth worries".
Is it just me or in the U.S. version, he sounds more
"Ah, no big deal, you'll find it on your own!"? : P

Well, perhaps the translators looked at the script and said, "A guide!? The world maps in this game are like 2 screens tops, and have only one town to go to besides the one you start the chapter in! What the heck does he need a guide for?" :lol:

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Wed Oct 07 2009 6:24am
by Earl
If you take "there" to mean
"You should hire a guide to go to Shade Church", I see your point.

But I think the meaning is
"You should go to Shade Church, and hire a guide there to take you to Uranba-tol"

That makes more sense, anyway. Maybe Balbaroy volunteers to guide you part way?

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Wed Oct 07 2009 11:17pm
by Martin III
Earl @ Wed Oct 07, 2009 6:24 am) wrote: But I think the meaning is
"You should go to Shade Church, and hire a guide there to take you to Uranba-tol"

I think so, too. I was just making a joke. (As you've probably noticed before now, my sense of humor isn't so hot.)

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Sun Nov 15 2009 10:54pm
by TheUnknownMarine
WHERE'S THE UPDATES, MEW SEEKER?!

YOU SAID THERE'D BE UPDATES!

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Fri Nov 27 2009 5:55am
by Omega Entity
I'd be happy to try and make this flow a bit, once it's all up. I can check over the parts where Mew isn't sure, as well. Been meaning to pick up the Japanese again ^_^

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Tue Dec 22 2009 3:35am
by Siel
Here is a terrible attempt at translating the rest of chapter 2:

Shade Abbey

Birdman at the entrance:
My name is Amon. Balbaroy... Please save my husband! (literally "Balbaroy... Husband, save please!", as if she wanted to correct herself)
In this state, my husband will die.

First note on the left:
"Do not enter the crypt under this for no reason."

Second note on the left:
"Do not ring the bells of the belltower above this for no reason."

Old woman in the main room:
The daughter of King Guardiana rarely comes here(?).
Your name is certainly Lady Anri...

Woman blocking the way:
Fufufu, it's useless.
Beyond here is a secret!

Woman blocking the way after talking to the priest:
Fufufu, fufufufu....

Note in the middle right:
"Priest's room"

Rightmost note:
"Library room"

Man in the crypt:
Here... where is here...?
Why am I in such a place?
I am...

Man near the bell:
Uu, scary, oh, scary, oh. ("Oh" might actually be something else...?"
Ah, what is going to happen?
I fell asleep. (It might not be this; I don't know what he's saying.)

Guard near the library:
My Alterone is a poor nation.
It seems everyone (I can't figure out the rest, but it mentions rich).

First bookcase in the library from the left:
"Record of the Abbey 1" (or document)
Max reads the records.
"Our church's purpose is to convey (something about a great mission)."

Second bookcase:
"Record of the Abbey 2"
Max reads the record.
"The legacy of the gods...
Few know its real meaning.
What kind of danger is it...?"

Third bookcase:
"Record of the Abbey 3"
Max reads the record.
"What is called the legacy of the gods,
the gods made it... (or it might be saying the legacy made the gods?)"
The rest is torn.

Zombie:
Gigigi, gigigi...

Priest:
Welcome to Shade Abbey. (It actually says something closer to "Shad".)
Is there something you would like?
If so, then offer your prayers to god.
Please do.
I shall meet you again later.

Priest again:
What are you doing?
Are you done praying to god? (literally "Are your prayers to god finished?)

Tombstones:
The grave is damaged.
It seems as if it was recently dug up.

Man to the right of the graveyard:
Show me to Rindo (Rindorindo).
I plan to get out of here.
There is a harbor there.
After this, I think it's a prospering country. (unsure)

Note near the graveyard:
Chapel

Stone statue of a birdman:
Run! This is a trap!

Priest:
It seems the prayers are over!
Max!

Darksol:
Your Shining Force will end here...
How did the troops of Runefaust have so much trouble?
These disguised undead... (unsure)
These memories! (unsure)
I do not remember regret. (unsure)

Darksol:
(Something about the abbey)
(Something about dealing with a stubborn guy)
Now, talking time is over.

Darksol:
(Something about corpses)
(Something about Darksol and injuries)

Darksol:
Ghoul! I order you to deal with this! (or something like that)

Balbaroy:
My name is Balbaroy!
I have heard of your travels! (unsure)
(something about a soul)
I want Darksol!
I must fight that guy...
(something about defeating)
Thank you! Let me fight alongside you.

"Balbaroy became a comrade!" (or something like that)

Balbaroy:
I will also go to your comrade's location. (unsure; I'm guessing he's referring to headquarters)

Man near the bell:
That Darksol man suddenly came to this abbey...
(Something about demanding that the mysteries of the legacy of the gods do not get transmitted to anybody?)
However, he attacked the priest.
The priest also fought back with magic.
Darksol was also injured.
But in the end...

Amon:
Thank you for saving my husband.
Please also let me become your comrade.

"Amon became a comrade!"

Amon:
Uranbatol...
If that far away northeastern city is your goal, it will be necessary to pass through the land of the mountains, Bustoke, beyond this point.
My husband and I can guide you from the skies.
Sir Max, please follow from behind.

Narrator:
The Shining Force and the one named Max leave the ruined Shade (Abbey) behind.
They head towards Bustoke with Balbaroy and Amon as guides.
(Something about the memories of the spirit of the spring)
The legacy of the gods...
(something about everything being mysterious)

Chapter 2
The Spirit of the Spring of the Gods
End

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Tue Dec 22 2009 3:43am
by Flygon
You know, the sooner text hacking is finally complete, the more I hope to see a retranslation patch. :)

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Thu Dec 31 2009 12:38am
by Martin III
Siel @ Tue Dec 22, 2009 3:35 am) wrote: First note on the left:
"Do not enter the crypt under this for no reason."

Second note on the left:
"Do not ring the bells of the belltower above this for no reason."

Might this be "...for any reason"?

Very interesting to see how much more Darksol had to say.

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Sat Mar 06 2010 6:28am
by TheUnknownMarine
WAKE UP!

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Wed Mar 10 2010 8:05pm
by JohnKelley23
Just a thought, altering the text in the GBA version might be easier, seeing as it was done by atlas and not Camelot games, and it has the fun of the extra battles, characters, and more replay value, just an idea.

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Sat Mar 27 2010 8:43am
by Siel
My previous attempt at a translation of the rest of chapter 2 was terrible, so I redid it.

WARNING: SPOILER!


Corresponding text from the english and japanese versions from the script I got from mew_seeker:
WARNING: SPOILER!


Edit: A bit of chapter 3

WARNING: SPOILER!

WARNING: SPOILER!

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Mon Mar 29 2010 11:13pm
by Martin III
Interesting speech from Darksol... Is it just me, or did the official translation say nothing about why Darksol was at Shade Abby?

Kind of disappointing that Diane doesn't say anything about Tao. Oh, well.

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Tue Mar 30 2010 7:39am
by Siel
For some reason, I can't either edit or quote my previous post because it shows up blank on the editing/posting page's box. Is it because the post is too long? (over 25000 characters and 1300 lines)

I'll just post the edit I wanted to do here:
After the skeleton goes "gigigi", the master mage replies with "What!" and "[something I'll figure out later]", which is a note I left for myself that I apparently forgot.

Master Mage:
What! You're so annoying even though someone is enjoying themselves!


Edit: Some more of chapter 3, up until battle 10:
Editmore: Finished the rest of chapter 3
WARNING: SPOILER!

WARNING: SPOILER!

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Thu Apr 15 2010 4:09am
by Mew seeker
Hi. I am back. Finally. :sweat:
Umm... Sorry? X D

I know a was away for, well forever. X D
I don't really have an excuse. ^^;
Long story short, at some point I got tired or something like that with the translation
and I couldn't get myself to get back in.
On top of that, I also got busy with other things that got not much to do with the translation
including playing game like Disgaea, another that can't be named here.
I want as low as... playing... Digimon World 2! X D
Ok, it's not awful. : P
But, funnily, I ended looking for Japanese information on that game on how to get Chimeramon,
then on Digimon World 1 to look for how to evolve into H-Kabuterimon and such
and then on the Digimon Card Battle looking for mistranslated card effect
to finally end back on this translation. X D

That being said, while, I was doing other things the Shining Force translation
was still there in the back of my mind, popping out once in a while.
When I was doing Japanese script like the one for Super Mario Rpg,
there has been down period like this too, making the writing longer than it should. ^^;
Hopefully, now that I am back, update will be at a faster pace. ^^;
Although that, in up to the next month, I'll have a few things
that might make me busy in real life so I don't really know how it will be. ^^;

I noticed that while I was away, someone else (Siel) came to continue the translation. : )
While I didn't look too much at everything
(for trying to avoid being influenced in my translation by relying too much on other translation
which also include the GBA U.S. translation)
from what I see, it seems good. ^^
Umm... I don't know if it's right for me to pot my translation when Siel already made one. ^^;
But just in case, I'll post today's update.

*********************
Shade Abbey
*********************

Birdman at the entrance :
Help! My name is Amon.
Please save Balbaroy. He'll die
unless you help.

私は アモンといいます
バルバロイを…主人を
たすけてください!
このままでは 主人が
しんでしまいます

I am called Amon.
Balbaroy... my husband,
please save him!
If things stay as they are, he
will be dying.

As noted by Siel, Amon correct herself although I'm not sure
if it's because she feel she should refer to Balbaroy as her husband
or if it's to give more context to strangers she have just met.


First note on the left :
Crypt. No amittance.

「このした れいあんしつ
みだりに たちいるべからず」

"Below/down here is the morgue/crypt.
To enter without reason/permission is not allowed."


Second note on the left :
Do not toll the bells
without permission.

「この上 かねつきどう
みだりに かねをならすべからず」

"Above/up here is the bell tower.
To ring the bell without reason/permission is not allowed."


Old woman in the main room :
We seldom get visitors, but
you are welcome.

ガーデイアナ王に むすめさんが
おうまれになった そうじゃの
お名まえは たしかアンリ様…

It seems a daughter
was born from the Guadiana king.
If I am not mistaken her name is Anri-sama...


Woman blocking the way :
There's nothing back here,
Never mind me.

ふふふ ダメよ
ここからさきは ヒ・ミ・ツ!

Fufufu it's no good.
Past (this point) from here it's S-E-C-R-E-T!

She's creepier in the Japanese information.
In for your information, the Mother Brain in Chrono Trigger
laughs the same way.


And after you talked to the priest,
she will be in a new location and say :
Emjoy your visit, stranger!

ふふふ ふふふふ・・・・

Fufufu fufufufu....
It does not get any better. X D

Note in the middle right :
Sanctuary

「神父のへや」

"Father's room"

Rightmost note :
Library

「としょしつ」

"Library (room)"

Man in the crypt:
Where...where am I? What am I
doing here?

ここは ここはどこだ…
おれは どうして こんなところに
いるんだ…

Here, where is this place here...
Me, what am I doing/why am I being
in this place...


Man near the bell:
I'm so confused. I don't
know what's real and what's
my imagination.

うー コワいよおコワいよお
あー なにがおきたんだべか
オラ わがんねーよ

Uuhh scaryy scaryy.
aahh something happened indeed right?
ORA don't understand.

This guy really sound confused and don't use correct/litterary Japanese,
making it a bit harder to translate his speech.
I might have miss some nuance but the main idea ia there.
In the last part, it must be "I don't understand".
Wakaranai -> wagaranai (like kami (god) but megami (goddess),
wagaranai -> waganai -> wagan
As for "ORA", I'm not sure if it should be translated to "I" or "hey". ^^;


Guard near the library :
Sorry, I can't talk while on
guard duty.

我がアルタローンは まずしい国だ
みんなが ゆたかにくらせるのは
いったい いつのことだろう?

My country Altaro-n is a poor country.
Everyone is being living in wealth?
What the, are we talking of the same thing?

No, they aren't. : P
Well, let's be fair, Altaro-n is a poor country...
in the past before the mining bussiness started.
This guy is living in the past.
Given the current context, things starts to feel bad.


Bookcase in the library, from left to right :

First bookcase :
Max finds a old
abbey record and he reads it.
"The purpose of this abbey
is to prepare the way for a
young man who will appear..."

「教会のきろく1」
マックスは きろくをよんだ
「我が教会のもくてきは いつのひか
あらわれるわか者に その大いなる
しめいを つたえること…」

"Church's records 1"
Max is reading the record.
"The purpose of our church
is to tell to a young man that will appear
from outside of its great fate..."

I'm not 100% sure but it's more or less that.
It could also be "a young man that might appear some day"
although I think it's more the other translation.
You know, all this preparation here just for Max...


Second bookcase :
Max finds a old
abbey record and he reads it.
"Few know the thruth of the
legacy of the Ancients. The
danger is unimaginable...."

「教会のきろく2」
マックスは きろくをよんだ
「神々のいさん‥そのしょうたいを
しる者はすくない それがどんなに
きけんなものか…」

"Church's records 2"
Max is reading the record.
"The legacy of the gods.. There are few persons knowing
of its true nature, of that thing which kind of
dangerous thing it is...

The legacy IS the dangerous thing.

Third bookcase :
Max finds a old
abbey record and he reads it.
"The legacy of the Ancients
was created by the gods to
confine a vast evil."

「教会のきろく3」
マックスは きろくをよんだ
「神々のいさんと よばれているもの
それは 神々がつくった・・・・」
そこからさきは やぶれていた…

"Church's records 3"
Max is reading the record.
"The thing that is called the legacy of the gods,
that which the gods made/created...."
From that point (the text) it has been torned out...

Not the same meaning in the original.
Really, if things had went like they should have
at this point we should have learn a lot of stuff
on what was really going on.
Instead, we have to wait about four chapters for that.


Zombie:
Snarl!

ギギギ ギギギ…

GIGIGI GIGIGI...

Priest:
Welcome to Shade Abbey!
I'm rather busy now. Please see
me later.

シャードの教会に ようこそ
なにか ごようですかな
神にいのりを ささげられるなら
どうぞ おくへ
またのちほど お会いしましょう

Welcome to the Shade church.
What is your bussiness here?
If it is to offer a prayer to God,
then please/by all means let's meet again
inside in another room.


If you talk to him again :
What are you doing here? Go!

なにをしているのです 神への
いのりは もうおわったのですか?

What are you doing? Have you already
finished your prayer to God?

I have to point up how the priest is really, really polite in his speech.
I like how there's a Zombie in the room
and the priest act like it wasn't important at all. : )
On second thought, maybe it could explain why Max didn't do anything then.


Man in the graveyard :
Huh? Am I alive or dead?
Where am I?

・・・・・

.....
The original is less blunt here.

If you check, the tombstones :
The grave is pretty messed
up. It looks as if somebody
recently dug it up.

はかあなが あらされている
ついさいきん ほりかえされたようだ
…

The grave is damaged/wasted.
It seems it have been digged up just recently.
...


Man to the right of the graveyard :
I need to get out of here.
It's too creepy for me.

こんど リンドリンドに みせを
出そうかと おもうんだ
あそこには みなとがあるし
これから さかえる国だとおもうよ

I was thinking of building
a store in Rindorindo.
There an harbour in there and also
from now on I think that this will be a prosperous country.

Actually, Rindorindo is already a prosperous country.
Secound occurance of someone being in the past.


Note near the graveyard :
Chapel

「れいはいどう」
"Chapel/place of worship"

*********************************************

>>>>>>Interesting speech from Darksol... Is it just me, or did the official
>>>>>> translation say nothing about why Darksol was at Shade Abby?

In the U.S. version, Darksol is just well,
"Bwahaha, I'm just there and I'm super evil and since I's super dumb too,
I will leave right away and let my minions do the job I should be doing for me!" :p

>>>>>>Kind of disappointing that Diane doesn't say anything about Tao. Oh, well.

Maybe it's something that was added in the remake.
Some character development was made for the GBA version.


Well, that's it for today post. ^^;;;

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Thu Apr 15 2010 5:25am
by Siel
Oh, uh, since Mew seeker seems to be back, I don't know if I should continue. I'll just post what I had done for chapter 4 (which I was coincidentally just starting on):

WARNING: SPOILER!


Edit: I got bored of translating useless dialogues by the NPCs so I skipped to Kokichi's and Vankar's:
WARNING: SPOILER!

Skipping to Elliott:
WARNING: SPOILER!



Edit: For some reason, I can't edit my previous post because it shows up blank if I try to add a few more characters. I'll just post the edit that I wanted to post to point out an edit that I wanted to make in another post.

From chapter 2:
QUOTE Man near the bell:
That man, Darksol, suddenly came to this abbey... He made us tell him the mystery of the Legacy of the Gods! However, Father rushed in. Father also fought with magic and injured Darksol too. But in the end...
It's actually Darksol who swooped down on the priest instead of the priest rushing in.

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Thu Apr 15 2010 5:47am
by TheUnknownMarine
"Church's records 3"
Max is reading the record.
"The thing that is called the legacy of the gods,
that which the gods made/created...."
From that point (the text) it has been torned out...
Not the same meaning in the original.
Really, if things had went like they should have
at this point we should have learn a lot of stuff
on what was really going on.
Instead, we have to wait about four chapters for that.


So.

The Ancients really DID create Dark Dragon. I had my suspicions from the concept art, but...

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Sun Apr 18 2010 1:17am
by Mew seeker
>>>>>Interesting speech from Darksol...
>>>>>Is it just me, or did the official translation say nothing
>>>>>about why Darksol was at Shade Abby?

I wouldn't go as far as "say nothing" but it's not as clear.
Basically, he was there to take care ot the Shining Force
while making sure that no important information would get out of the church.
But things didn't go as smootly as he planned as precised in the Japanese version.

>>>>>>>Oh, uh, since Mew seeker seems to be back, I don't know if I should continue

I don't know, your average posting speed is better than mine. X D
Maybe at least keeping a copy of translation ready just in case
would be better for everyone? ^^;;;

>>>> I got bored of translating useless dialogues by the NPCs
>>>> so I skipped to Kokichi's and Vankar's:

Tsk tsk :p

Anyway, here is the final part (from me anyway :sweatdrop: ) of chapter 2.


Stone statue of a birdman :
Run! It's a trap!

にげろ! これはワナだ!

Run away! (Here) it's a trap!

Then, the room is filled with undead
and the priest come to you and say :
Been praying, and well you
might!

おいのりは すんだようだね!
マックス!

Your prayer seems to be finished!
Max!

Saying "Max) alone without "-san" is a bit rude and/or familiar here
and clash with the previous speaking style of the priest.


There's a big flash and he changes appearance. He say :
You and your pitiful Shining
Force cannot be saved by
prayers! You won't escape!

きみが シャイニング・フォースを
しきしていたとはな‥
ルーンファウスト軍がてこずるわけだ
どうした? そのふしぎそうなかおは
そうか‥あのときにきおくを!
私を おぼえていないとはざんねんだ

That you have been
commanding the Shining Force..
That's why/that's the reason (!) the Runefaust army had trouble/could handle it.
What's wrong? That wondering/puzzled face...
I see/is it so .. The memory of that time! (!)
It is deplorable that you are not remembering me.

This guy seems to know Max and gives him a lot of credit.
Really, he first realize who he is facing
and on that realization state that the reason Runefaust army had trouble.
Too bad that this realization means trouble for us. X D lol
"The memory of that time" : the japanese phrase is incomplete
which means we don't have the verb at the end,
most likely something like "have lost".


How fitting that you perish
in a former chapel of Light!

神父のことなら あきらめるのだな
てごわいやつだったが しまつした
さあ おしゃべりのじかんはおわりだ

If it's (if you're thinking?) about the father, give up on it.
He has been a difficult guy to deal with.
Well, the time of idle/small talk is over.

So much for back up. X D

I leave you now in the care
of my minions, who know well
what to do with you....

もっとあいてを したいところなのだが
私も きずをおわされたものでね

I would have liked to try/do (?) more opponents but
I too have recieved injuries. (!)

The first sentence should be more or less like this.
On the second sentence, he say that he too (which means also the father he fought)
have recieved a thing or things which is more specifically "injury".


Undead! Dispose of these
pests once and for all!

グールよ! あとのしまつをたのむぞ

Ghoul! (I ask you to) take care of the rest (of the situation/matter).

*He then dissapears*

After the battle, the petrified birdman,
now back to normal, tell you :
I am Balbaroy! I was turned
to stone by Darksol when he
took the bodies of the dead.

私の名はバルバロイ!
旅の方よ きいてくれ!
この教会にねむっていた ししゃの
たましいは もんな ヤツ…
ダークソルにむさぼられた!
私はヤツと戦い…
そして やぶれ いしにされていた
ありがとう 私もあなたとともに
戦いましょう

My name is Balbaroy!
Come listen (to me) a traveler!
The souls of the dead sleeping
in this church, by this guy (?)...
Dark Sol covetted(!) them.
I had a fight with this guy (!)...
And I was defeated and being changed into stone.
Thank you. I too shall fight together
with you.

The third and fourth sentences should be more or less like this.
I'm not 100% of the meaning of "monna". ^^;
The fourth sentence isn't ended, most likely because of emotion/anger.
"covetted" : "musaboru", according to the yahoo Japanese dictionnary :
to desire something without getting tired of it
and again/also keep acting without limit/bound.
And the, second meaning... to eat greedily/with a burning desire.
Interesting choice of word.
Sixth sentence : litterally, "Me| with that guy| a battle/I fought and..."
It's only here we actually learn that we have just met Dark Sol.


(Balbaroy joins the
Shining Force! )

「バルバロイが なかまになった!」

"Balbaroy became a companion!"

I will join you to fight
Darksol's evil.

私もあなたの なかまたちのところに
行っていよう

I too shall be going at
your companions's place.


*He leaves.*

Man near the bell:
Darksol suddenly appeared.
He told us not to speak about
the Legacy of the Ancients.
Then he attacked our friar.
The friar fought back, but
Darksol overcame him.

あのダークソルって おとこが
とつぜん この教会にやってきた…
神々のいさんのなぞは だれにも
つたえさせん! といって
神父様におそいかかっただ
神父様もまほうで たちむかって
ダークソルもケガをしただよ
でも けっきょくは…

That man Dark Sol
suddenly came in this church asking...
"To not tell/convey/transmit anyone of the mystery of
the legacy of the gods!" Still/that being said,
he rushed to (!) the father-sama.
The father-sama fighting with magic too
had done (an?) injury to Dark Sol.
But in the end...

"rushed to" : according to the yahoo dictionary,
"osoikakaru" : to abruptely/suddenly go toward an opponent
with the intention to injure/harm it.
If you ask me, the father was badass, forcing Dark Sol to leave.
It's really too bad he was killed and couldn't come with us.


As you leave the chapel, you meet the other birdman,
which is blocking your way and say :
Thank you for saving
Balbaroy. Let me go with you
so I too can fight evil.

主人をたすけてくれて
どうも ありがとうございました
私も あなたにおともさせてください

My husband was saved.
Thank you a lot. (!)
Please let me too accompagn you.

"Doumo arigatou gozaimashita", a big "Thanks a lot".
It's written to the past. Maybe that writting it to the past
exprims thanks toward a past action/deed?


(Amon joins the
Shining Force!)

「アモンが なかまになった!」

"Amon became a companion!"

To reach Uranbatol, you must
go through Bustoke.
We will guide you there.
I will join your friends.

ウランバートル…
あのはるか ほくとうの国を
めざすのでしたら
このさきの やまの国バストークを
とおるひつようが あります
私と主人で そらから
道あんないをします
マックス様
あとをついてきてください

Uranba-tol...
Should you have the intention
(to go) to that country faraway to the northeast,
it is necessary to go through
the mountaignous country Basto-k past this point.
The way will be leaded/guided
by me and my husband from the sky.
Max-sama, please follow (me/us) later.

Max was probably called "Max-sama" for saving her husband. :)

*Then, the screen becomes black.*

Max and the Shining
Force head toward Bustoke.
What awaits them there?
The Legacy of the Ancients
is still a mystery. Will
they ever solve it?

シャイニング・フォースと
名づけられたマックスたちは
ほろびのむらシェードをあとにした
バルバロイたちをあんないやくに
バストークへむかうのだった
きおくの泉のせいれいによって
あかされた 神々のいさん‥
古代人のブンメイとは
これからの旅によって
すべてのなぞめいたものが
ひとつにかさなっていくのだった

Max group that was named
Shining Force
made it past the ruined village of Shade.
Being/thanks to be leaded by Balbaroy-tachi,
they went toward Busto-k.
The revealed legacy of the gods
according to the spirit of the Spring of Memory..
The Ancients's civilization,
because of travelling (from here to) there
all the/those enigmatic things
had piled up/overlapped into one.


*******************************
Chapter 2
Spirit of the Holy Spring
END

   第2章
神々の泉とその精霊
    完

Chapter 2
The spring of the gods and its spirit.
End

*******************************

************************************************

And that's its for Chapter 2.
And if I don't improve my posting speed, it will take three more year for the rest. X D

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Sun Apr 18 2010 5:02am
by TheUnknownMarine
Then I humbly request you improve your posting speed.

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Mon Apr 19 2010 12:15am
by Martin III
Mew seeker @ Sun Apr 18, 2010 1:17 am) wrote: "rushed to" : according to the yahoo dictionary,
"osoikakaru" : to abruptly/suddenly go toward an opponent
with the intention to injure/harm it.

"assaulted", perhaps?

Very cool stuff, guys. I'm surprised that Vankar makes his alcoholism explicit.

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Fri Apr 23 2010 3:29am
by Mew seeker
>>>>>Just a thought, altering the text in the GBA version might be easier,
>>>>>seeing as it was done by atlas and not Camelot games,
>>>>>and it has the fun of the extra battles, characters,
>>>>>and more replay value, just an idea.

I am not so sure. The GBA version is different, partly because it's a remake.
Max talk in it, some stuff was added and maybe other removed.
What of the dialogue choices that might have been added or removed.
The original U.S. version is closer but it's still programming-wise
an expansion of the original Japanese version.
Personally, I believe it would be best to change the text in the Japanese version.

>>>>>Then I humbly request you improve your posting speed.

Ah, uh, how can I say no to this?
No pressure, guys! X D

>>>>>"assaulted", perhaps?

Now that you mention it... X D

Anyway, here is the start of chapter 3.

*****************************************
Chapter 3
Secret Weapon of Runefaust

     第3章
ルーンファウストの秘密兵器

Chapter 3
Runefaust's Secret weapon

*****************************************

The Shining Force arrived in
Bustoke, a town built into a
mountainside.

マックスたちは
バストークに やってきた
けわしいやまを きりひらき
つくられた その町には
ふしぎなことに おとこのすがたが
まったく 見られなかった・・・

Max-tachi
came up to Basto-k.
In this town made
clear-opened (?) in an inaccessible mountain,
the figures of men were surprisingly
not at all to be seen...

"clear opened" is a bit litteral.
I wasn't sure how to write it. ^^;;;
My dictionary program say about it "clearing (land), excavating".
They made a place for the town in the mountain.


Sign at the town entrance :
Beware of falling rocks!

「らくせきちゅうい」

"Beware of falling rocks"

Kid at the town entrance :
I miss my Daddy! When's
he coming back?

えーん えーん
おとーちゃん どこに行ったの
えーん えーん

sob sob
Where did daddy went?
sob sob

Runefaust is so evil they make people cry. :p

Woman in the first room from the left :
Please rescue my husband from
the quarry. You're our only
hope!

ルーンファウストはひどいよ!
はたらけるおとこは みんな
むりやり つれていったんだよ!

Runefaust is awful/cruel!
The men capable of work were all
took in against their will!


Bookcase near her :
How to fly,
Up and away,
and manymore books.

「いかにしてそらをとぶか」
「おおぞらのみりょく」
いろいろなほんが ならんでいる

"How to be flying in the sky?"
"The fascinating sky"
There are various books here.


Woman in the second room from the left :
My father was taken away to
the quarry, too. Please bring
him back!

うちのお父さんも さいせきじょうに
つれて行かれて しまったわ
おねがい たすけてください!

My father too was took along
in the carry.
Please, I ask you to help him!


Bookcase to her rigth :
Life on a Cliff,
High-Altitude Cookbook,
and many more books.

「がけの上のせいかつ」
「きょうのりょうり」
いろいろなほんが ならんでいる

"Living on the top of a cliff"
"Today's/fun/interesting cooking"
There are various books here.

"kyou" is a word that could be translated by a lot of thing.
Those are the most likely meanings imho.
Pick the meaning you like the most here. :p
It would have been easier to translate
if a kanji was used in the text instead.


Bookcase above her :
Dragonia- Land of Dragons,
Knights First, Archers to the
Rear, and many more books.

「竜の国ドラゴニア」
「ゆみはうしろに騎士まえに」
いろいろなほんが ならんでいる

"Dragon country Dragonia"
"Bow in the back Knight in front"
There are various books here.


Left merchant in the third room from the left :
Hello there and welcome to
our Weapon Shop. How can we
help you?

いらっしゃい! バストークで武器が
そろうのは このみせだけだよ!
さあ ほしい武器はあるかい?

Welcome! To gather/get all the weapons
of Basto-k (come) to this shop only, really!
Well, is there a weapon you would like?


Middle merchant in the third room from the left :
Look around and buy anything
you like.

私たちは リンドリンドの者です
マックス様のために
この国にも みせを出したのです
やくにたつものはあったら
どんどん もっていってください
もちろん お金はいただきますけどね

We are persons from Rindorindo.
for the sake of Max-sama
we put up a shop in this country too.
Would there be something useful,
please quickly take/carry it rappidly/continually/withouth hesitating.
Of course, we'll receive/take money (in exchange) though.

Aww, they want money? :(
Anyway, if you think about it, wouldn't be of those guys,
there wouldn't be any shop in chapter 3. X D
It's nice to get help from Rindorindo. ^^


Rigth merchant in the third room from the left :
Hi! You'll need lots of items
for you journey. See anything
you want?

いらっしゃい! 旅をするには
いろいろ道具がひつようだよ
さあ ほしい道具はあるかい?

Welcome! Should you be travelling,
various tools are necessary.
Well, is there a tool you would like?


Old man in the fourth room from the left :
I am a master alchemist. I
can make anything! Can I help
you?

クスリをつくって40ねん!
わしが クスリづくりの名人
ステトラじゃ! ・・・なんかようか?

40 years makings medicine!
I am Sutetora the expert at making
medicine! ...Is there something/What's your bussiness? (?)

The last part should be something like that. ^^;

If you say no :
But I need your help!

そうか そっちになくとも
こっちには ようじがあるんじゃ

Is that so, that you don't have any bussiness in that (this) place.
In that place (here?) you must have a bussiness.

I'm not sure if "that place" or "here" is better. ^^;
Basically, if you say "No", his reaction is
"Really? I think that if you came here, you came for a reason."
He find a "no" hard to believe.


If you say yes :

First you must help me.
That part doesn't have a Japanese equivalent.

In both case, he then say :

ちょっと まて! そういえば
こっちにも ようじがあったんじゃ

Wait a little! Now that you mention it ,
I too had a bussiness in that place.

And that's the reason : the Japanese answer happens
as a result of talking about bussiness,
which reminds Sutetora of his own bussiness.
That part doesn't have a U.S. equivalent.
For some reason, the conversation flow differently in each version


To cure Zylo, I need to make
Lunar Dew. But to do that,
I need Moon Stone!
You must go to the quarry,
find Moon Stone, and
bring it back to me!

ザッパ様の やじゅうの心を
おさえるに つきのしずく という
クスリがあれば かんたんじゃ
ざいりょうも ひとつだけでいい
げっこうせき という名まえの
かがやくいし があれば・・・
しかし それがあるのが・・・
さいせきじょうなんじゃ
なんとか ならんもんかな?

If there was/I had the medicine called the moon drop,
to restrain Zappa-sama
beast heart would be simple
as it have conveniently a single ingredient.
It would be a sparkling/glittering stone
called by the name of Moonlight Stone...
But that where it is...
Wouldn't it be somehow
the carry?

Moon drop, like in other video games. : )
Also, drop as in "drop of water".


Left bookcase in his room :
There are many books in
strange languages.

「せまいながらもたのしい我がや」
「すうがく1」
いろいろなほんが ならんでいる

"My/Our narrow but enjoyable house(s?)"
"Mathematics 1"
There are various books here.

Maths are too hard for the U.S. version. :shifty:
Then again, more seriously maybe they had to do this change
as a result of changing the dialogu flow,
as the next bit is the same than here in the U.S. version.


Middle bookcase in his room :
There are many books in
strange languages.

「シャイダク」
「シャイニング・スピリット」
いろいろなほんが ならんでいる

"Shidak"
"Shining Spirit"
There are various books here.

"Shidak" as in "Shining and the Darkness".
Thanks to Google for that one.
Maybe Shining Spirit is a reference to Shining games too?


Girl blocking the way to the rigth :
Don't go this way! You'll be
forced to work in the quarry
with everyone else.

だめよ この道をとおっちゃ!
この道は さいせきじょうに
つながってるのよ
あなたも ルーンファウストに
ムリヤリはたらかされたいの?

It's no good/useless going that way!
This way is being connected
to the quarry.
Do you want to be made working
against your will for Runefaust too?


After saying yes to Diane's mother, she will have moved out of the way
and will say :
Please be careful. Those
Runefaust monsters are
deadly!

さいせきじょうに行って みんなを
たすけてくれるんだしょ
気をつけてくださいね

You are going to be helping everyone
(by) going into the carry, aren't you?
Please be careful.


Woman in the room below to the south east :
My husband was taken away in
the middle of building our
house. It's only half done!

いえを つくってる さいちゅうに
だんなを つれてかれてさ・・・
せまくて こまってるんだよ

While the house was being builded,
the master/my husband has been borrowed along...
I am being cramped and worrying.

"Borrow" is probably not the best word
but that's the big idea.


Woman in blue above outside :
Our men were taken away to
work in the quarry. All but
Zylo, who's crazy.

おとこは みんな さいせきじょうに
つれて行かれて しまったのよ
もうバストークは おしまいだわ
ザッパ様も おからだのぐあいが
悪いというし・・・
ああ どうしたらいいのかしら・・・

The men have all been
took along in the carry.
Already/soon Basto-k is done for/over.
Zappa-sama body condition
have been said to be bad too...
Ahh, I wonder what I should do...

About the fifth line, I'm not 100% sure that
"have been said" is the proper translation of "toiu shi"
but it should be more or less that.


Woman above outside blocking the exit :
Please don't go this way.
They'll punish me for letting
you through.

敵の軍のめいれいで
ここをとおすことは できません
とおすと 私がセッカンされるんです

By order of the opponent army,
to let (you?) pass cannot be (allowed).
Would you pass, I would be punished.


Headquarters symbol :
Headquarters

「ほんじん」

"Headquarters"

Priest :
Welcome, Max!
I've been expecting you.
How can I help you
and the Shining Force?

まよえる こひつじよ!
よくぞ 我が教会に まいられた
神と光の名において そなたの
のぞみを かなえて しんぜよう!

Stray lambs!
You have done well (?) to come in my church.
In the name of God and the light, your
wishes shall be granted!


***************************************************

That's it for today. ^^

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Fri Apr 23 2010 10:34pm
by Martin III
Nice that you were able to straighten out what the medicine maker said. Keep going!

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Sun Apr 25 2010 9:54pm
by Mew seeker
Here is the last part of Basto-k before the carry battle :

Woman in the rigth side of the topmost house :
I really feel sorry for Zylo.
Do you want to hear about
him?

ザッパ様は とてもかわいそうなの
あなた きいてくださる?

Zappa-sama is very poor/pitiful.
Will you (do the honor of) listen (to me) ?

Zappa seems to be very respected in this village.

If you say no :
Oh, well, it's your loss!

まあ! ずいぶん つめたい人なのね

Maa! You're a very coldhearted person uh.

If you say yes :
The Runefaust army poured
something into Zylo's drink.
It made him crazy.
We had to lock him up to
protect ourselves!

バルバザークのひきいる軍が
ワーウルフのザッパ様を恐れて
のみ水のなかに くすりをいれたの
そのくすりは けものの心を
おさえられなくする こうかがあって
私たちには えいきょうがないけれど
ひがたつごとに けものの心を
おさえられなくなった ザッパ様は
私たちをきずつけることを恐れ
みずから ろうごくに はいられたわ
ああ おかわいそうなザッパ様・・・

The army leaded by Balbaza-k
fearing Werewolf Zappa-sama
put a drug inside his drinking water.
That drug having the effect of making
the beast (!) heart unrestrained,
we weren't affected but however
as his beast heart was being unrestrained
day after day, Zappa-sama,
afraid to hurt us
entered on his own in the jail/cell.
Ah, poor Zappa-sama...

It's not Runefaust who use the drug on Zappa,
at least not directly.
Instead, it's the force of Balbazak.
When thinking about it, they cover a lot of ground too
You only deal with Balbazak in the next chapter.
More, specifically, "kemono" means a wild beast.
Apparently, many/all people drank the water
but only Zappa was affected.
Maybe the drug was put in a water source
like a well or something?
I doublechecked and it's actually Zappa who locked himself up,
probably as he was seeing he was loosing it gradually
and before something bad happens.
Edit : now that I think about it,
wasn't there someting similar that happened in Shining Force EXA?


Bookcase in her room :
The History of Bustoke,
Battling in the Woods,
and many more Books.

「バストークのれきし」
「もりの戦い・じょうきゅうへん」
いろいろなほんが ならんでいる

"Basto-k's history"
"Forest battle - Advanced level compilation"
There are various books here.

I wonder if the second book is Zappa's?
If that the case, can he read?
Did he make it? Or used it?
You can only wonder here.


Old man at the very top of the town :
There's a bridge in the
valley that connects Bustoke
and Pao.
The Runefaust army is
gathering there, doubtless
preparing an attack.

バストークとパオをむすぶ たにに
いっぽんばしがある
ルーンファウスト軍は そこに
かなりのへいを あつめているぞ

There is a log bridge
in the valley connecting Basto-k and Pao.
The Runefaust army is gathering
there a lot of soldiers/troops.


Woman near the cell :
Zylo is inside, but he's been
driven mad. Only Lunar Dew
can save him!

ザッパ様は このなかです
でも・・・はなしをするのは
とても むりです・・・
ああ つきのしずく さえあれば
ザッパ様も すくわれるのに・・・

Zappa-sama is inside here.
But... to do talking
is very/completely unreasonable/impossible...
Ahh, if we had moon drop,
Zappa-sama could be saved...


Woman in white in the left side of the topmost house :
I have been waiting for
warriors of the Shining
Force. Are you one of them?

シャイニング・フォースと名のり
ルーンファウストと戦う者がいると
かぜのうわさにききました
それが あなたたちなのですね?

I have heard by the wind's rumor
that there are people fighting Runefaust
calling themselves "Shining Force".
Those (people), is it you guys?

According to the yahho dictionary, "nanori" means among a few things
stating its own name by yourself and also
the situation of warriors stating it loudly in battle.
Maybe the Shining Force had fun stating their name? :p


If you say no :
Alas, we need heroes badly!

そんな・・・・・ そうですか
やはり ただのうわさだったのですね
・・・わかりました ごめんなさい

That..... is that so.
As I thought it was just a rumor.
... understood. Sorry/forgive me.

Way to make us feel bad! X D

If you say yes :
Great! You must help us. The
Runefaust army took our men
to dig in the quarry.
They're looking for a weapon
of the Ancients, a Laser Eye.
Diane can lead you there.
If Zylo were sane, he could
surely help you.

やっぱり! ・・・ああ神様!
私たちにも まだ
きぼうが のこされていたのですね
この国のおとこは さいせきじょうに
みんな つれて行かれてしまいました
ルーンファウスト軍のしわざです
あの人たちは レーザーアイという
武器を ほりだそうとしています
どうか みんなを たすけてください
ここにいるアーチャーのディアーネが
おともをさせていただきます
ザッパ様さえ ぶじでしたら
こんなことには・・・

As I thought! ...ahh God-sama!
There was still
some hope left for us.
The men of this country have all
been took along to the carry.
That is the deed/action of Runefaust.
Those people, it seems they are
being digging up called the Laser Eye.
Please somehow help everyone.
Please make of Dia-ne the archer (!)
that is being here your attendant/companion. (!)
If only/even? Zappa-sama was made safe/fine/healthy (!),
(in?) that thing/situation...

If you say no, the woman say "yahari"
which means something like "as I thought".
But if you say yes, she will say "yappari"
which means the same thing. X D
By the way, apparently that "yappari" is a phonetic evolution of "yahari".
About Diane, the "e" in her name sounds like the "e" in pokemon.
Here, the word is not "nakama" but "otomo"
which, according to the yahoo dictionary,
is more or less someone that will accompagn you and serve you.
The text also more or less say,
"Please do to/give Diane the favor of letting her accompagn you".
Toward the end, "buji" can means "safe/fine/healthy".
Pick the one you like most? X D
The last sentence is not finished.
While I am not 100% sure, the meaning should be more or less this.


Woman with pink hair in the left side of the topmost house,
before talking to the woman in white :
Talk to my mother first.

まずは そこにいるじじょのはなしを
きいてあげて・・・

First of all, listen the maid's talk
over there...

"Jijo" can mean a few things like "maid" or "second daughter",
but apparently not "mother".
Is it me or everyone is related in the U.S. version? :p


And afterward having said yes to the woman in white :
If you're going to the quarry
to rescue the men, you can
count me in!

この国のおとこたちを
たすけてくれるのですね
ならば この私も
おともをいたしましょう

It is about helping
the men of this country, uh.
In that case, I/me too
will accompagn you/be your companion.

Once again, the word is "otomo" instead of "nakama".

(Diane joins the
Shining Force!)

「ディアーネが なかまになった!」

"Dia-ne became a companion!"

I'll be at headquarters.

私は ほんじんでまっています
さいせきじょうの戦いには ぜひ私を
つれて行ってください

I wll be waiting in the headquarters.
Please take me along without fail
in the carry battle.

She really wants to come. X D

She then leave.
***************************************

That's it for now. ^^

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Sun Apr 25 2010 10:10pm
by TheUnknownMarine
Interesting... Diane's personality here seems a bit more "proper".

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Mon Apr 26 2010 2:23am
by Mew seeker
>>>>Interesting... Diane's personality here seems a bit more "proper".

Umm, maybe it's just me but I don't notice that much a difference. ^^;
Maybe it's in the way of saying things?
Meaning-wise, it more or less the same.

Battle 9 - The quarry :

Dark Priest:
Master, we have found it!

マスターメイジ様・・・

Master Mage-sama...

Master Mage:
The Laser Eye! At last!

そうか レーザーアイの
はこび出しが おわったか
よし よくやったぞ

Is that so, the Laser Eye
carrying out (!) ended?
Good, (it was) well done.

According to the yahoo Japanese dictionary,
"hakobidasu", to take out something to outside by transport.


This is the end of that
cursed Shining Force!

・・・ふふふ ふふふふふ!
これで シャイニング・フォースも
いっかんの おわりだ!

... fufufu fufufufufu!
With this, it is the consistent (?)
end of the Shining Force!

I am not 100% sure of the translation of "ikkan".
I went with "consistent".
Maybe "the end of all of the Shining Force"
would be more accurate.


Get rid of those men from
Bustoke. They are of no
further use to us.

それから バストークのおとこたちは
あなにでもうめて しまつしておけ!
あいつらに もう ようはない!

After that/later, let's bury
in a (any?) hole the men of Basto-k!
Those guys don't have any more usefulness!

I am not 100% sure of how to translate "nidemo"
in the second sentence but it should be more or less this.
"-te oke" and "sorekara" together seems to imply
that the burying will be done in a near future,
as soon as other bussiness will be took care of.
Looks like the Shining Force arrived about time.


Skeleton:
Alert! Intruders!

ギギッ! ギギギッ!!

GIGII! GIGIGII!!

Master Mage:
What? The Shining Force!

なんだ! ひとがよろこんでいるのに
うるさいぞ!!

What! When someone is having fun,
shut up/be quiet!!

He's lucky to have a skeleton sentry. :p

He step back and say :

Stop them! We must have time
to remove the Laser Eye!

!? シャ シャイニング・フォース!
ど どうして こんなところに?
・・・ええい とにかくむかえうて!

!? Shi Shining Force!
W why in this place?
...yeaah, in any case, let's ambush (!) them!

According to the yahoo Japanese dictionary, more or less,
"mukaeutsu", battling by waiting and receiving
an opponent that is closing in."
Something like that.
And IIRC, in that battle the computer play a defensive battle
instead of rushing in.


When the Master Mage is defeated, he will say :
You think you've won, but
you've failed. The Laser Eye
is ours now!

ば ばかな・・・ しかし
レーザーアイさえ てにはいれば・・・

Imp impossible... but
if we only had the Laser Eye/even with just the Laser Eye...

"Baka" means "stupid/foolish" and so on
but used in that context it also means "impossible/no way",
maybe in a "How could it be? That's too dumb!" sense. :p
The last sentence is incomplete.
I am not sure if he say that if they still had the Laser Eye,
they would have won the battle here
or if is saying that in the end, just by having the Laser Eye,
victory is assured to them in the end.
That being said, maybe it is meant to be ambiguous here.


Then Nova say :
Max, the Moon Stone
lies inside the cavern.

マックス殿 げっこうせきは
どうくつの おくですぞ!

Max-dono, the moonlight stone
is in the inside of the cavern!


*****************************************
That's it for the carry.
Next time, it will be Basto-k again
which will be a bit lo0nger this time
now that the men have came back. :p

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Mon Apr 26 2010 3:27am
by Earl
Mew seeker @ Sun Apr 25, 2010 9:23 pm) wrote: This is the end of that
cursed Shining Force!

・・・ふふふ ふふふふふ!
これで シャイニング・フォースも
いっかんの おわりだ!

... fufufu fufufufufu!
With this, it is the consistent (?)
end of the Shining Force!
I am not 100% sure of the translation of "ikkan".
I went with "consistent".
Maybe "the end of all of the Shining Force"
would be more accurate.

This feels like it should be

"With this, it is surely the
end of the Shining Force!"

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Thu Apr 29 2010 11:39pm
by Martin III
Ah, so that further explains why the woman says nothing about Tao. I guess I overlooked that in Siel's translation.

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Mon Jun 21 2010 6:56pm
by Siel
Mew seeker seems to have disappeared again, so I redid what I had translated for chapter 4 and finished it.

As usual, I'm basing this translation on Mew seeker's script, which seems to have a few typos that I can't always figure out. There are also parts that I don't understand, whether or not there were typos.

Since my translation and the script are separated, unlike how Mew seeker posts them, perhaps opening two windows to view them could help compare them.

Chapter 4:
WARNING: SPOILER!

Mew seeker's script:
WARNING: SPOILER!

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Thu Jun 24 2010 7:24pm
by JohnKelley23
Mew seeker @ Thu Apr 22, 2010 6:29 pm) wrote: >>>>>Just a thought, altering the text in the GBA version might be easier,
>>>>>seeing as it was done by atlas and not Camelot games,
>>>>>and it has the fun of the extra battles, characters,
>>>>>and more replay value, just an idea.

I am not so sure. The GBA version is different, partly because it's a remake.
Max talk in it, some stuff was added and maybe other removed.
What of the dialogue choices that might have been added or removed.
The original U.S. version is closer but it's still programming-wise
an expansion of the original Japanese version.
Personally, I believe it would be best to change the text in the Japanese version.

>>>>>Then I humbly request you improve your posting speed.

Ah, uh, how can I say no to this?
No pressure, guys! X D

>>>>>"assaulted", perhaps?

Now that you mention it... X D

Anyway, here is the start of chapter 3.

*****************************************
Chapter 3
Secret Weapon of Runefaust

     第3章
ルーンファウストの秘密兵器

Chapter 3
Runefaust's Secret weapon
*****************************************

The Shining Force arrived in
Bustoke, a town built into a
mountainside.

マックスたちは
バストークに やってきた
けわしいやまを きりひらき
つくられた その町には
ふしぎなことに おとこのすがたが
まったく 見られなかった・・・

Max-tachi
came up to Basto-k.
In this town made
clear-opened (?) in an inaccessible mountain,
the figures of men were surprisingly
not at all to be seen...
"clear opened" is a bit litteral.
I wasn't sure how to write it. ^^;;;
My dictionary program say about it "clearing (land), excavating".
They made a place for the town in the mountain.


Sign at the town entrance :
Beware of falling rocks!

「らくせきちゅうい」

"Beware of falling rocks"

Kid at the town entrance :
I miss my Daddy! When's
he coming back?

えーん えーん
おとーちゃん どこに行ったの
えーん えーん

sob sob
Where did daddy went?
sob sob
Runefaust is so evil they make people cry. :p

Woman in the first room from the left :
Please rescue my husband from
the quarry. You're our only
hope!

ルーンファウストはひどいよ!
はたらけるおとこは みんな
むりやり つれていったんだよ!

Runefaust is awful/cruel!
The men capable of work were all
took in against their will!

Bookcase near her :
How to fly,
Up and away,
and manymore books.

「いかにしてそらをとぶか」
「おおぞらのみりょく」
いろいろなほんが ならんでいる

"How to be flying in the sky?"
"The fascinating sky"
There are various books here.

Woman in the second room from the left :
My father was taken away to
the quarry, too. Please bring
him back!

うちのお父さんも さいせきじょうに
つれて行かれて しまったわ
おねがい たすけてください!

My father too was took along
in the carry.
Please, I ask you to help him!

Bookcase to her rigth :
Life on a Cliff,
High-Altitude Cookbook,
and many more books.

「がけの上のせいかつ」
「きょうのりょうり」
いろいろなほんが ならんでいる

"Living on the top of a cliff"
"Today's/fun/interesting cooking"
There are various books here.
"kyou" is a word that could be translated by a lot of thing.
Those are the most likely meanings imho.
Pick the meaning you like the most here. :p
It would have been easier to translate
if a kanji was used in the text instead.


Bookcase above her :
Dragonia- Land of Dragons,
Knights First, Archers to the
Rear, and many more books.

「竜の国ドラゴニア」
「ゆみはうしろに騎士まえに」
いろいろなほんが ならんでいる

"Dragon country Dragonia"
"Bow in the back Knight in front"
There are various books here.

Left merchant in the third room from the left :
Hello there and welcome to
our Weapon Shop. How can we
help you?

いらっしゃい! バストークで武器が
そろうのは このみせだけだよ!
さあ ほしい武器はあるかい?

Welcome! To gather/get all the weapons
of Basto-k (come) to this shop only, really!
Well, is there a weapon you would like?

Middle merchant in the third room from the left :
Look around and buy anything
you like.

私たちは リンドリンドの者です
マックス様のために
この国にも みせを出したのです
やくにたつものはあったら
どんどん もっていってください
もちろん お金はいただきますけどね

We are persons from Rindorindo.
for the sake of Max-sama
we put up a shop in this country too.
Would there be something useful,
please quickly take/carry it rappidly/continually/withouth hesitating.
Of course, we'll receive/take money (in exchange) though.
Aww, they want money? :(
Anyway, if you think about it, wouldn't be of those guys,
there wouldn't be any shop in chapter 3. X D
It's nice to get help from Rindorindo. ^^


Rigth merchant in the third room from the left :
Hi! You'll need lots of items
for you journey. See anything
you want?

いらっしゃい! 旅をするには
いろいろ道具がひつようだよ
さあ ほしい道具はあるかい?

Welcome! Should you be travelling,
various tools are necessary.
Well, is there a tool you would like?

Old man in the fourth room from the left :
I am a master alchemist. I
can make anything! Can I help
you?

クスリをつくって40ねん!
わしが クスリづくりの名人
ステトラじゃ! ・・・なんかようか?

40 years makings medicine!
I am Sutetora the expert at making
medicine! ...Is there something/What's your bussiness? (?)
The last part should be something like that. ^^;

If you say no :
But I need your help!

そうか そっちになくとも
こっちには ようじがあるんじゃ

Is that so, that you don't have any bussiness in that (this) place.
In that place (here?) you must have a bussiness.
I'm not sure if "that place" or "here" is better. ^^;
Basically, if you say "No", his reaction is
"Really? I think that if you came here, you came for a reason."
He find a "no" hard to believe.


If you say yes :

First you must help me.
That part doesn't have a Japanese equivalent.

In both case, he then say :

ちょっと まて! そういえば
こっちにも ようじがあったんじゃ

Wait a little! Now that you mention it ,
I too had a bussiness in that place.
And that's the reason : the Japanese answer happens
as a result of talking about bussiness,
which reminds Sutetora of his own bussiness.
That part doesn't have a U.S. equivalent.
For some reason, the conversation flow differently in each version


To cure Zylo, I need to make
Lunar Dew. But to do that,
I need Moon Stone!
You must go to the quarry,
find Moon Stone, and
bring it back to me!

ザッパ様の やじゅうの心を
おさえるに つきのしずく という
クスリがあれば かんたんじゃ
ざいりょうも ひとつだけでいい
げっこうせき という名まえの
かがやくいし があれば・・・
しかし それがあるのが・・・
さいせきじょうなんじゃ
なんとか ならんもんかな?

If there was/I had the medicine called the moon drop,
to restrain Zappa-sama
beast heart would be simple
as it have conveniently a single ingredient.
It would be a sparkling/glittering stone
called by the name of Moonlight Stone...
But that where it is...
Wouldn't it be somehow
the carry?
Moon drop, like in other video games. : )
Also, drop as in "drop of water".


Left bookcase in his room :
There are many books in
strange languages.

「せまいながらもたのしい我がや」
「すうがく1」
いろいろなほんが ならんでいる

"My/Our narrow but enjoyable house(s?)"
"Mathematics 1"
There are various books here.
Maths are too hard for the U.S. version. :shifty:
Then again, more seriously maybe they had to do this change
as a result of changing the dialogu flow,
as the next bit is the same than here in the U.S. version.


Middle bookcase in his room :
There are many books in
strange languages.

「シャイダク」
「シャイニング・スピリット」
いろいろなほんが ならんでいる

"Shidak"
"Shining Spirit"
There are various books here.
"Shidak" as in "Shining and the Darkness".
Thanks to Google for that one.
Maybe Shining Spirit is a reference to Shining games too?


Girl blocking the way to the rigth :
Don't go this way! You'll be
forced to work in the quarry
with everyone else.

だめよ この道をとおっちゃ!
この道は さいせきじょうに
つながってるのよ
あなたも ルーンファウストに
ムリヤリはたらかされたいの?

It's no good/useless going that way!
This way is being connected
to the quarry.
Do you want to be made working
against your will for Runefaust too?

After saying yes to Diane's mother, she will have moved out of the way
and will say :
Please be careful. Those
Runefaust monsters are
deadly!

さいせきじょうに行って みんなを
たすけてくれるんだしょ
気をつけてくださいね

You are going to be helping everyone
(by) going into the carry, aren't you?
Please be careful.

Woman in the room below to the south east :
My husband was taken away in
the middle of building our
house. It's only half done!

いえを つくってる さいちゅうに
だんなを つれてかれてさ・・・
せまくて こまってるんだよ

While the house was being builded,
the master/my husband has been borrowed along...
I am being cramped and worrying.
"Borrow" is probably not the best word
but that's the big idea.


Woman in blue above outside :
Our men were taken away to
work in the quarry. All but
Zylo, who's crazy.

おとこは みんな さいせきじょうに
つれて行かれて しまったのよ
もうバストークは おしまいだわ
ザッパ様も おからだのぐあいが
悪いというし・・・
ああ どうしたらいいのかしら・・・

The men have all been
took along in the carry.
Already/soon Basto-k is done for/over.
Zappa-sama body condition
have been said to be bad too...
Ahh, I wonder what I should do...
About the fifth line, I'm not 100% sure that
"have been said" is the proper translation of "toiu shi"
but it should be more or less that.


Woman above outside blocking the exit :
Please don't go this way.
They'll punish me for letting
you through.

敵の軍のめいれいで
ここをとおすことは できません
とおすと 私がセッカンされるんです

By order of the opponent army,
to let (you?) pass cannot be (allowed).
Would you pass, I would be punished.

Headquarters symbol :
Headquarters

「ほんじん」

"Headquarters"

Priest :
Welcome, Max!
I've been expecting you.
How can I help you
and the Shining Force?

まよえる こひつじよ!
よくぞ 我が教会に まいられた
神と光の名において そなたの
のぞみを かなえて しんぜよう!

Stray lambs!
You have done well (?) to come in my church.
In the name of God and the light, your
wishes shall be granted!

***************************************************

That's it for today. ^^

I was just thinking with the difficulty editing text in the other games it might be easier from a different developer, if the genesis is easier to edit then that should be the one used.

Max's text, I figured could just be turned to ... like the main characters in SFIII

I haven't noticed anything important that was removed, but the additions may pose an issue, not sure how to incorperate that into the original story.

anyhow it does not really matter to me it would be awesome to play it with the intended story regardless of the format in my opinion, I look forward to it either way.

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Thu Jun 24 2010 7:49pm
by Siel
I went over the character limit again in my previous post (apparently a bit over 32000 characters) and thus Mew seeker's game script got cut about halfway through. Here's the rest of it:
WARNING: SPOILER!

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Thu Jun 24 2010 11:18pm
by Martin III
Holy cow, Koron got a ton of more dialogue. The info about how she stays in power is interesting and amusing as well.

Interesting addition to Earnest's plans. The guard telling you about Earnest and the cerebrus is a nice touch, too. I like the official English version of Domingo's dialogue better, though.

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Mon Jun 28 2010 2:53am
by Siel
Chapter 5:
This chapter seems to be shorter than the previous chapter, so the translation and the original scripts should be able to fit in a single post (only slightly above 30000 characters this time). Edit: It looked fine when I tried to preview the post. I guess I'll need to split them up again.

WARNING: SPOILER!

Mew seeker's script:
WARNING: SPOILER!

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Mon Jun 28 2010 9:28pm
by Martin III
Voice:
... Max, I was waiting. You shouldn't be surprised. I used that mermaid and guided you here... ...


:shock: That's an interesting little addition. Wonder why the translation team cut that part.

Now, the translation team choosing to rename the place "Ring Reef" - that, I understand. :)

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Mon Jun 28 2010 10:10pm
by Siel
QUOTE (Martin III @ Mon Jun 28, 2010 4:28 pm) :shock: That's an interesting little addition. Wonder why the translation team cut that part.
Actually, they didn't cut it:
QUOTE After the mage is defeated, you hear a voice :
Max, I was waiting
for you. I used that mermaid
to bring you here....

As for Fry(ing) Pan Reef, I thought the NPC was being silly at first, but then it was only referred to as that.

The rest of chapter 5 from Mew seeker's script:
WARNING: SPOILER!

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Tue Jun 29 2010 4:34am
by Martin III
Siel @ Mon Jun 28, 2010 10:10 pm) wrote: Actually, they didn't cut it

Ah, okay. Somehow I completely forgot that part. :blush:

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Wed Jul 07 2010 2:57pm
by sbloom85
If only this could be applied to the ROM itself.

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Tue Jul 27 2010 12:18am
by Siel
I tried translation the HQ quotes:

In party:
WARNING: SPOILER!
Not in party:
WARNING: SPOILER!
Not in party (on ship):
WARNING: SPOILER!


EN and JP script by Mew seeker:
WARNING: SPOILER!

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Tue Jul 27 2010 1:10am
by Martin III
Woah, interesting stuff. Mae, Ken, Vankar, Gort, and Adam's HQ quotes really show more of their personalities. Khris's not in party quote is kind of funny, too... I wonder how much truth there is to her hypothesis.

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Tue Jul 27 2010 3:32am
by TheUnknownMarine
...so.

Lowe is THAT kind of priest.

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Sat Aug 21 2010 5:47am
by Siel
Chapter 6:
WARNING: SPOILER!

Edit: I fixed some of Cain/Kane's lines and tried to fix some of Darksol's.

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Sat Aug 21 2010 5:57am
by TheUnknownMarine
Hmmm. I wonder why Darksol kept Max alive?

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Sat Aug 21 2010 6:08am
by Omega Entity
He needed Max and Cain to unlock the door, to get to the Secret Book, right? If the door would open only for them, then that would explain why he needed Max alive.

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Sat Aug 21 2010 6:14am
by TheUnknownMarine
Omega Entity @ Sat Aug 21, 2010 6:08 am) wrote: He needed Max and Cain to unlock the door, to get to the Secret Book, right? If the door would open only for them, then that would explain why he needed Max alive.

...oh, duh.

I'm blaming the rum in my system for not catching that.

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Sat Aug 21 2010 6:24am
by Omega Entity
You drunkard XD

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Sat Aug 21 2010 6:26am
by TheUnknownMarine
Omega Entity @ Sat Aug 21, 2010 6:24 am) wrote: You drunkard XD

IT'S THE WOOOOOOORLD'S FAULT FOR MAKING ME LIKE THIIIIIIIIIIIIS!

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Sat Aug 21 2010 8:30am
by Siel
Edit: Huh, not even having a whole post for it is enough for it to fit.

Mewseeker's EN & JP chapter 6 script:

WARNING: SPOILER!

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Sat Aug 21 2010 11:40pm
by Martin III
Awesome. I've been waiting a long time to see the original text concerning Kane being Max's older brother, and most especially what the story is with Max getting amnesia and Kane getting the mask. :thumbsup:

On the downside... D'oh! This totally contradicts "Half False Prophet"! :damnit: Ah well, I still prefer my version of events.

Nice to see that, much like Shining in the Darkness, the spell Demonbreath has a significant role in the story.

Re: Shining Force translation topic

PostPosted: Sun Aug 22 2010 12:23am
by Siel
Mewseeker's EN & JP chapter 6 script (part 2):
WARNING: SPOILER!
Some possible typos I noticed:
WARNING: SPOILER!